General Question

MrGV's avatar

Would you ever date someone out of pity?

Asked by MrGV (4170points) June 19th, 2009

Will your nice side prevail?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

atlantis's avatar

Ok, yeah. But there also has to be something else, like respect or something. Mere pity… too unromantic for me.

richardhenry's avatar

While I feel bad for your situation, the answer is no.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

It has to be a really pitiful person to get me to say yes…

marinelife's avatar

Pitiable is the person who thinks they are offering something of value in themselves to someone they pity.

Jayne's avatar

It’s hard to imagine this not ending in a way that would make them worse off than before.

hug_of_war's avatar

No, because you will hurt them far, far worse in the end. I also don’t believe it’s fair to have a relationship based on deceit.

Supacase's avatar

No. It is hard to say no when you feel bad for the person, but it’s even harder to say no after you’ve already said yes.

MindErrantry's avatar

No—and I’ve been asked by that sort of person (for whom I had no feelings, but who followed me around like a puppy). I agree with @Jayne and @Supacase on this.

cak's avatar

No, it seems that it would be far more cruel to date someone out of pity, than to date them just to make them feel better.


Jeruba's avatar

You are not responsible for seeing that someone dates them. And because people’s tastes and inclinations differ so greatly, another person might be interested in them as they are and without a shred of pity.

That said, if you are moved to invite someone for a single special occasion, such as a prom, not out of pity but out of kindness, I don’t think that can be a wrong deed.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I did once, at uni. I’ll never do it again. It occurred to me mid-date that being with someone who I didn’t want to be with was simply cruel.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m too selfish to date someone out of pity. I feel guilty, if I feel like I owe the person something, but if I don’t like someone, I don’t make an effort to spend time with them.

Facade's avatar

I have when I was like 14–16 years of age, but I wouldn’t now.

SirBailey's avatar

No. That actually is NOT a nice thing to do for them.

LexWordsmith's avatar

Out of pity for myself, yes, but somehow they never seem to want to go along….

dynamicduo's avatar

No. I don’t need to waste anyone’s time. I date people I’m seriously interested in.

TaoSan's avatar

Nope, definitely not….

Blondesjon's avatar

Did your cousin have to take you to the Prom?

Let it go man. That was high school.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

Been there, done that, bought that t-shirt. Not worth it, whatsoever. Ended up being all kinds of trouble for the both of us.

He also still tries to contact me…

dalepetrie's avatar

My understanding of “pity” seems to be that to “pity” someone, you have to feel sorry for them for not being as good as you, which is arrogant in my view. So, not only would I not date someone out of pity, I generally don’t tend to pity people…because even if there is something obvious about them that makes me think, “whoa, sucks to be you,” everyone possesses within themselves something that makes them a unique and valuable person. Everyone, no matter how weird, ugly or otherwise outwardly undesirable has a few kindred spirits on this planet…6 billion people live here after all. I don’t think anyone is to be pitied, I’m OK with empathy, but not pity.

CMaz's avatar

Are we talking about pitty sex?

cyndyh's avatar

No way no how.

75movies's avatar

Only if she’s really hot.

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