General Question

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Are you an accessory, or the main attraction?

Asked by RealEyesRealizeRealLies (30938points) June 28th, 2009

A goal of mine is to become an accessory. Much liability comes with being the main attraction. My older years beg me to shed all unnecessary responsibilities.

I’ve heard it said…
“There’s nothing worse than getting to the top, only to find that nothing is there.”

Can one effectively be both the main attraction and an accessory at the same moment?

Would you rather be the Speech Speaker, or the Speech Writer?

Would you rather be the Racer, or the Pit Crew?

Would you rather be the Batter, or the Bat Boy/Girl? Perhaps the Batting Coach?

Can one exist without the other?

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28 Answers

juwhite1's avatar

I’m both, depending on the situation. When I am the appropriate one to take the leadership role, I accept that responsibility. When it is appropriate for someone else to take the helm, I get out of their way. I think that leadership is pretty situational, and when I need to be the main attraction, I am. Of course liability comes with that, but then, if none of us are ever willing to step up and take personal accountability for a situation, no one gets to move forward. On the other side of that coin, when someone insists on always being the main attraction rather than allowing others to step up when their strengths are most compatible, we don’t move forward, either.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

No one at mission control has ever stepped foot on the moon…..

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar


Could that step have been taken without mission control? What deserves the greater recognition… the act itself, or the process that made the act possible?

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

it’s not about who get’s recognition. you asked me which I’d rather be, the leader or the follower, I answered giving a comparison.

juwhite1's avatar

The guts to actually leave planet Earth and step on the moon brought the glory. The work to make that happen went largely unnoticed, but is extremely important. Interesting though, that when we’ve had space disasters, the behind the scene folks were right there to take the blame! They are only noticed when things go wrong.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar


You are correct. In fact this question is designed to confront the legitimacy of recognition. Your comparison stands.

I get your gist, but do you really consider mission control as follower? Are speech writers and pit crews followers? I prefer to call them accessories.

MacBean's avatar

I’d rather be the speech writer, the pit crew, or the team manager. Nobody would be in the spotlight, if not for the lighting crew. I don’t like being the center of attention, but I do enjoy helping the people who do enjoy it to get there.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar


Understood. It supports the notion that every pursuit is much bigger than the sum of its parts.

We would quickly appreciate the dirty sewer workers and trash collectors if they suddenly disappeared.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

That’s a very limited perspective.
There are standout people in the pit crew. There’s speech writers who are better than the rest. In any field there are those who excel.
The goal should be to find your own specialty, and strive to be as successful as you can in that area.

Jack79's avatar

Everybody has a job to do, and however much I prefer to be behind the scenes, I often find myself in the spotlight. My dream was to become a songwriter, but I became a singer instead. I wrote the music for a play and the director insisted on me having a main role (I got away with a smaller cameo part though). And even in the street, people seem to notice me and talk about me, whether I want it or not. Over the years I have simply come to accept that, I have exploited public attention professionally but also managed to stay away from it when I had to. I accept constructive criticism and ignore vile gossip. And I overall lead the life that was meant for me, trying to be a good person and help my fellow humans and have a clear conscience at the end of the day.

Bri_L's avatar

I like to play the middle ground. For instance, I like to make self depreciating jokes in conversation at gathering but then use the focus to make sure everybody is involved in the conversation.

chelseababyy's avatar

I think most of the time, I’m the main attraction, but at times, I take a step back and let someone else have it, while I’m behind the scenes.

skfinkel's avatar

I wonder if you really have a choice in this?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I am fluid
Sometimes the current beneath a calm
Other times a surface used to reflect

DrBill's avatar

I’m both. I give a lot of speeches in front of a lot of people, but I also write my own speeches.

tadpole's avatar

i would not want to be the main attraction and then find i was stuck with it….i can think of someone who died recently who must have struggled terribly with the spotlight…...if you stay in the background you can tinker about with less attention given to what you do…..were humans designed to be “famous”?....

DrBill's avatar

…..were humans designed to be “famous”

every species has members who rise to the top, wolves have pack leaders, bees have queens, etc.

I think this is a natural process of nature.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Fair warning, your comments shall be quoted. Perhaps as soon as today.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar


Would speeches be possible without the promoters, the sound crew, stage hands, venue, audience, research assistants, knowledge banks?

Where is the “top” in a sinuous circle of cooperative events?

MacBean's avatar

were humans designed to be “famous”?....

No, that’s what’s behind all the celebrity deaths recently. God’s finally had enough and he’s starting to strike people down.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar


You can’t be serious. Please tell me you’re not serious.

MacBean's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies: hahahaha No. I forgot my ~. Sorry!

wundayatta's avatar

If I had any confidence, I’d be the main attraction. But I have none, so I’m always a bridesmaid. I like to think it’s better that way. There’s only trouble to be had when you get all the attention. It ruins so many people’s lives. If only there were a way to be the main attraction anonymously, so you could disappear when you no longer wanted the attention of strangers.

dannyc's avatar

In my mind I am the main attraction. To the outside world, often an accessory. So much depends on the venue. You can define your friends by who considers you a a main attraction (a friend) versus those who consider you an accessory (not your friend). Many vacuous unintelligent people are such ego centric individuals they will always be the main attraction, sometimes in the same fashion as an amiable fool. Be careful what you wish for.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I fluctuate between the two and not by choice either. It depends on which of my personalities are most dominant on any given day.

tadpole's avatar

@Bluefreedom wow a real Jeckyll and Hyde :) now i meant that nicely…..

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