General Question

empower's avatar

How did you deal with getting blamed for something you counseled others not to do and as your employer they made you do it anyway and then blamed you for it?

Asked by empower (192points) December 11th, 2009

How did you stop thinking about it after doing all that you could to explain and resolve things. It seems such a betrayal of trust and leadership. People seem to have difficulties getting up from under this or trusting others again, how would you help them?

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8 Answers

ChocolateReigns's avatar

I’m confused.

marinelife's avatar

You need to edit your details to provide a little more information.

empower's avatar

Addendum to clarify: Imagine you were blamed for doing something you were ordered to do by an employer. You were told do it or lose your job. This employer went to a senior employer when the action backfired and said you did it. You lost your job. I have someone facing this situation and they are heartbroken, how can I help them move forward?

StupidGirl's avatar

When they try to make me do something I think is a stupid thing to do, first of all I really really really try to convince them of all the cons of it. So when they make me do it anyway and it backfires I don’t feel guilty. And when they’d fire me over the backfiring of it, I consider them mayor a-holes I don’t want to work for and with in the first place.

HighShaman's avatar

It would NEVER have hapened to me ; I would not have permitted it.

I would have stood my ground and told the Bosses the TRUTH; that the supervisor was lying .

If you cannot be true to yourself; who can you be true to ?

empower's avatar

This person told the truth and had it in writing but was not believed

nisse's avatar

Just high road it and take the crap standing up. If the error is obvious and also the blame (which it usually is to everyone, even though nobody can acknowlege it publicly), you will get a lot of plus points for the maturity to take responsibility not only for your own mistake but for someone elses mistake.

It works wonders, this way of handling stuff has gotten me promoted more than once, plus you feel good while doing it. Taking responsibility for crap that’s not even your fault is such an unassailable strategy that even your boss will wonder what hit him. I usually think silently to myself “ha, come up with a counter attack to this one if you can, bastard”.

marinelife's avatar

First, the person has to face the fact that they were talked into crossing one of their own boundaries. They feel violated.

Then. they lost their job because of it.

The only thing that is likely to help them is time and perspective. They need to absorb the lessons of this situation: which is that you should never violate your ethics even if threatened with job loss. (This person violated their ethics and lost their job anyway!) Second, that life is not fair. That is a hard and ugly lesson.

Finally, the lesson I hope they absorb is that bitterness and hatred are not worth it. It is like “drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

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