Social Question

desiree333's avatar

What things should one consider before entering into a sexual relationship with someone?

Asked by desiree333 (3206points) February 14th, 2010

what things should someone consider?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

The sexual history of your bunkmate.

ChaosCross's avatar

If they love you.

suncatnin's avatar

1. Have you both been tested for STIs

2. Emotional investment and/or ramifications (are you both on board with it being casual/potential for serious/other attachments?)

3. Protection from #1 for everyone and pregnancy, if PIV.

4. Disclosure of kinks/turn-ons

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

What they’ll charge you for it.

Scooby's avatar

Have they been checked out lately for STD’s! :-/

zebter's avatar

I think you need to know if there are any STD’s and make sure you have some sort of feelings for the other person. Attraction is a must.

Cruiser's avatar

Why you would want to have sex with that person is a start! Is it for love??? A lasting relationship??? To get some jollies?? A Quickie?? It really all can depend on yours AND their wants, needs and desires.

Bluefreedom's avatar

They should have a functioning libido.

OreetCocker's avatar

Errrrr whether they’re hot :-)

LunaChick's avatar

The last person I was in a sexual relationship with is a good friend. I knew, going into it, there was no future for a relationship, but I wanted to anyway. I love this man, as a person – love being a subjective word. He’s not “the one” but he’s someone who I care for greatly, so it was a natural progression to want to become intimate with him.

A physical relationship brings a whole new level to a friendship. You get to know someone in a completely different way, once you’ve had sex with them. Some things changed for the better, some not so much. You have to be prepared for changes you may not expect.

There was a short time in my life where I decided to live hedonistically – I had a few lovers (by few, I mean less than 5) that I didn’t even have a real friendship with – they were sexual partners, period. I found this type of relationship to be unfulfilling, even if they were “good” lovers. If you decide to go this route, please use protection!

I guess what I’m trying to say is, to me, there needs to be some sort emotional relationship. You don’t have to be in love with the person, but you have to at least care for them, in some way.

dpworkin's avatar

It depends upon your goals. If you are hot for someone’s bod and you want to fuck, take steps to prevent STI’s.

If you are considering embarking upon a relationship with someone, take your time; talk, and talk, and talk; do things together – hike, bowl, swim, dine out; see how you are treated under different circumstances, make sure you are never insulted, deprecated or treated with even symbolic violence; get to know friends and relatives; watch what happens when he or she is around people known well; see how you are treated around the old friends and the family; I could go on all afternoon in the same vein.

lfino's avatar

You need trust.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

I knew someone once who has had a 20 sexual relationship with her friend.
She said now it’s more convenience than anything. A friend with benefits kinda thing.
She said through marriages and divorces they are always there for each other in that way.
Additionally they do spend other time together.
Not something I would want to do, but everyone is different I guess.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Ah…sex is better if you are in love and free of the clap ;)

hercule's avatar

It depends on you as a person, you are obviously aware of the dangers, not only to yourself but also to your proposed sexual partner, you require protection against possible infection, but most of all, if, you are a sensitive person you could be heading for a traumatic emotional upset; this reqires a lot of care that only comes with experience.

Violet's avatar

STD’s and STI’s (yes there is a difference)
birth control
the status of the relationship (fling vs. serious)

Scooby's avatar

And the round of applause goes toooooOOOOOOOOOOO!!
@lucillelucillelucille Lolll. we’re all CLAPPING over here!! Lol….

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Scooby—Thank you,thank you very muuuuch!lol!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction truth from diction. You don’t know? If you hafta ask maybe you are not ready. The obvious would be if you are going to catch anything. Second to that is why? Are you both on the same page? Do you want to be f**k buddies or casual booty calls? Do you feel you HAVE* to do make what you have more, (which if it is, you have very little)? Making sure no rug rats pop up. What is the plan if it does? What are your limits and boundaries? What if it don’t work the exit plan? Will you still be friends if it fizzles? There are many, many things you should be thinking about before you go off head strong to do the horizontal Mambo.

desiree333's avatar

@hypocricy Central. Thanks for the answer, but it was a hypothetical question, we were talking briefly about it in my parenting class. :)

candide's avatar

do you love them?

john65pennington's avatar

Which condoms to use. seriously.

Just_Justine's avatar

Perhaps considering ones expectation if one starts a sexual relationship. Whether that expectation is mutual. The value you would put on that encounter if at all. Then the regular things like birth control, STD’s etc., so both feel comfortable.

plethora's avatar


rahm_sahriv's avatar

Disease, drug use, past sexual history, HIV status are all important things to discuss before entering a sexual relationship with someone. Also you should find out if they intend on this being a monogamous relationship and what potential might there be for more than just a sexual relationship (marriage if that is something you interested in).

Discussions on birth control if it is something you have to worry about or not is another good one that I just noticed @Just_Justine mentioned.

cornbird's avatar

(1)The chances that you can make an unwanted baby.
(2) The type of person you are with, if he/she is mature.
(3) The chance of getting an S.T.D
(4) If the person is a clean and sanitary person….yes…this is tooo important

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
chinchin31's avatar

STDs.. – nowadays I think everyone should demand that you both get fully tested. There is too much stuff going around and because you don’t look sick that doesn’t mean you can’t have HIV and other stds. Don’t risk it. I have personally come across guys e.g that just don’t like condoms. So don’t risk it. Doesn’t matter how nice they seem because even they may not know they have something.

And yes pregnancy..I honestly think if you really don’t want to get pregnant he should ALWAYS pull out before he comes even if you are both on birth control. I know too many people that get pregnant using condoms.If you can’t discuss this then you shouldn’t be having sex. You need to be 100 % comfortable discussing these things.

Also what kind of things is he into. You don’t want to feel like you are forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. e.g some people are into anal some are not !!.

Yeah he should be a sanitary person too. Smelly/sweaty genitals can be a real turn off. They too should be conscious of their odours etc. Always use baby-wipes before you do it. Then you never have to get self-conscious about going down on each other. hehhee.It is a fact that everyone gets stale down there so no need to feel embarrassed about making this a ritual. Always have a pack of them on hold. heheh. Then again there are some guys that like any smell hahahaha.

You just have to be 100% comfortable talking openly with each other.

NomoreY_A's avatar

What do I look like, Dr. Phil?

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