General Question

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

What is the best, most polite, mature way to leave a social network?

Asked by RealEyesRealizeRealLies (30874points) April 11th, 2010

Is it best to simply disappear?

Should the account be removed or just put on ice?

Are PM goodbye’s preferred over public goodbye’s?

If announced, is the announcement enough, or should reasons be given (lifestyle change, no time, new hobby)?

How long would it take for you to notice a friend missing from your favorite social network? What would you expect of them if they decided to leave?

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22 Answers

Ludy's avatar

what do you want to leave? cause it depends

dpworkin's avatar

Silently, without a word. Especially, no word of reproach.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would hope that they would say goodbye. If not,then so be it.

Likeradar's avatar

If it’s a FB kind of thing, maybe change your status to ”... is deleting his account on Thursday… PM me if you want my email address to keep in touch” and send messages to a small handful of people you actually want to keep up with.

There are some people I wouldn’t ever notice if they were gone. Sometimes my number of friends drops by one, and I have no idea who it was. Or sometimes I don’t care that the kid I sat next to in 6th grade science isn’t my “friend” anymore. But there are some people from my past that I’ve really enjoyed catching up with, and I’d be seriously bummed if they vanished.

Blondesjon's avatar

I agree with the ‘just disappear’ faction on this thread.

although I am also partial to the ‘go out in a blaze of self-righteous glory’ folks as well

DeanV's avatar

This seems like a pretty good way to commit facebook suicide.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Quietly stop visiting. You simply got busy with something else.

ucme's avatar

The exits are but a click away,quick painless simple.

janbb's avatar

If I were leaving a site on which I still had meaningful connections, I would definitely pm my friends and tell them I was leaving and why. In addition to that, I might post something on my profile for a while before deleting my account. It is very painful when someone you care about leaves without any explanation at all.

SeventhSense's avatar

I say go out in a blaze of glory.

“Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.”

Don Henley

Seek's avatar

When I committed digital suicide, I announced it plainly. “Stalkers suck, so I’m deleting this account in T-minus-ten days. You can send me a message if you want my new account. Hasta lasagna!”

shego's avatar

I just close the account. My closest friends already know how to get ahold me, so….. bye bye.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Send a message to all of your friends on the network explaining that you have to leave and that you will miss them. Give them some way to reach you if they want, and then say “Bye-bye!”

thriftymaid's avatar

Just leave. Close the account if you life. This is not a question of politeness or maturity. If you don’t want your account, close it.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I find this extremely interesting… There are three different perspectives of answers here.

1.)
Some are from the “I” perspective. And from “If I left…” or “What I would hope for others…”

“I just close the account. My closest friends already…”
“When I committed digital suicide, I announced it plainly.”
“If I were leaving a site on which I still had meaningful connections, I would…”
“I am also partial to the ‘go out in a blaze of self-righteous glory crowd…”
“I would hope that they would say goodbye.”

2.)
Some are from the “You” perspective, as if “You” are offering “Me” advice for how I should leave, rather than how “You” would leave.

“Close the account if you life… If you don’t want your account, close it.”
“Send a message to all of your friends on the network explaining that you have to leave and that you will miss them.”
“Quietly stop visiting. You simply got busy…”
“what do you want to leave?”
“maybe change your status to… PM me if you want my email”

3.)
And some responses seem quite neutral, as if it’s the best way to leave for everyone, me, them, and you alike.

“I say go out in a blaze of glory.”
“The exits are but a click away,quick painless simple.”
“This seems like a pretty good way…”
“I agree with the ‘just disappear’ faction”
“Silently, without a word. Especially, no word of reproach.”

I find it fascinating the different perspectives on answering the same question. So let me ask you all… Do you believe I am considering leaving, and you’re offering me personally advice on how best to do it? Or, are you speaking specifically for yourself, and how you would leave if you chose to? Or, are you presenting a best case scenario for everyone to follow whether it be you, me, or a complete stranger on a different network altogether?

This is fascinating to me.

janbb's avatar

I was one of the ones presenting from the “I” perspective aad I guess I was talking about how I would leave, and also how I would hope those close to me would leave. I was taking the question as a hypothetical, not assuming that you were looking to leave.

mattbrowne's avatar

I too would hope that they would say goodbye.

Likeradar's avatar

I meant “you” as a way one could do it. And that includes you specifically, @RealEyesRealizeRealLies.

Seek's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies

I believe in many cases, answering from personal experience is the best way to go, if one has such experience. That is the reason for my answer. If I hadn’t such experience, the advice I gave would likely be much different – and much more “correct” in terms of formal etiquette.

downtide's avatar

Quietly and without a word, except maybe PMs to anyone you want to keep in touch with, to tell them where else they can find you. I would be inclined to delete the account for privacy reasons if you don’t intend to visit again.

lazydaisy's avatar

Just please let me know how to reach you, if you do. I would miss all of the social experiments. As for an obligation to the site in general, do you really owe it anything?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@lazydaisy

If you’re not careful, I’m gonna throw you a 1K lurve party.

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