Honesty in your opinions when your SO is here?
I’ve noticed since I have been on Fluther, there are many people who are couples. Does this change how you answer questions? Do you feel you have to censor them a bit in order to not say something to offend your SO, especially regarding relationship questions? And if your SO is not on here, would their presence on the site change your responses if they were?
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If you’re wondering about dishonesty in other questions, what makes you think you’ll get honest answers to this one? This question is just as visible to all SOs as any other question on Fluther.
My SO is not a member, but I have mentioned that I was a member before.
I don’t think it would overall impact my responses or actions, I’m a fairly open person and he knows just about everything about me, so I’ve got nothing to hid.
So no, it wouldn’t impact me much, but I am not speaking for others.
Nope, it doesn’t change how I answer things at all. I don’t really have anything to hide, and by censoring myself I would also feel like I’m not answering with complete honesty.
Man that must suck to be controlled by another person like that over something so trivial
My significant other knows I am on here and I think she checks my answers, but that doesn’t make me answer any differently.
Nope.
My girlfriend is not on here, but she knows i spend time on this site, and what it’s about.
I invite(d) her to come on in and join me.
I have no problems with what i write here, i don’t need to censor my opinions/answers.
It actually would make me feel pretty uncomfortable if i noticed that i did that.
It is much easier too, by the way, to be the same here as in real life.
My wife isn’t here, that I know of >.> but she has, much to my great annoyance, read over my shoulder on numerous occasions. I have yet to feel I could not be as open/straight forward as I believed necessary to address the question. Being that one of the foundations of our relationship is implicit trust, I don’t envision that her being here would have any negative bearing on my responses.
Lying about something when posting on this site is no different than lying anywhere else. There should be no need to lie just because your SO is a member of this site. If mine were on here I would tell the truth as I do, or simply avoid the questions which would make me not want to tell the truth.
My SO is not here but she can easily google me if she wanted to see anything. It does not affect my answers
My fiancé isn’t on fluther and I like it that way. He knows about the site and many times I’ll read him my answers or questions to get his opinion. But I like having this site to myself. It’s my own little secret place where I don’t have to censor myself or worry what people think of me.
I don’t worry about that stuff.I say what I think :)
My SO isn’t on here, at least not that I know about.
I am honest on here, but since I am anonymous, I can say things that I would not necessarily say to friends, family and acquaintances. I have answered personal questions here very frankly. Discussed topics that I would not normally discuss with just anyone. It would inhibit my answers if I was out as it were, here.
I am a very private person, but on Fluther I can let loose just a wee bit.
Funny thing, I feel safe here, with most of you.
@xxii I thought about that as soon as I posted the question, and the funny thing is that so far all the people who have answered do not have their SO on this site. Interesting.
@Blackberry What is controlling? You mean changing your answers if they are on here?
@wonderingwhy What bothers you about her peeking oer your shoulder – the act or the fact that she is looking at what you are writing and you don’t want her to see?
There are not nearly as many couples here as you think.
Yes I would be honest, because I’m not any different on here than I am anywhere else.
My s/o and I have a deal. She has a link to my profile, and can read whatever, whenever. She’s not obligated to tell me anything she’s read, nor is she obligated to answer any questions I have about her opinions on what I’ve written, and I’m free to write whatever I want as long as I don’t identify her. It took me a few weeks to feel comfortable to write freely again after giving her the link. But, now I’m totally cool with writing freely, and with her reading at will. The cool thing is that we have had a lot of interesting discussions that have flowed naturally since interacting with Fluther. It has helped our communication improve significantly!
@J0E Maybe that is the case and it’s the same ones that repeat over and over and I tend not to notice who they are. I have a prpensity for not noticing exactly “who” is answering. I just read the answers :/
@prolificus That’s awesome that it turned out like that!
no I mean yes. not that he doesn’t know everything about me or that I would be less honest I would just feel wierd. I don’t know what he looks at on his computer either nor do I care.
No,I have a good relationship with by SO (Uberbatman), so I never really worry about what I say. As for relationship questions I never have to worry about him seeing it anyways, he avoids relationship questions like the plague lol. I have made a fake account before in order to ask questions like what I should do for our anniversary and such things you don’t want them to know its you for their benefit.
@blackberry So you meant implicit control as oppsed to explicit control. Got it! Interesting
@Trance24 Wow…don’t you think that’s a little deceitful creating a fake account?
Neither my wife nor I will compromise our opinions – nor should we have to – but if in an area where we do not agree, I will be careful not to aggravate or offend.
@Ponderer983 – No I don’t. For example I wanted to surprise him and get him a parrot of sorts for our anniversary, and I needed bird advice on fluther about what type of parrot to get and what environment suits them best. Now if I asked that question under my fluther name would it not defeat the purpose of it being a surprise gift?
Edit: This was also the first and only time I used a fake account.
He isn’t on here, that I know of, but even if he were I would still answer the same way. I’m brutally honest with him, so I’d have nothing to hide.
@Trance24 Wouldn’t have going to a pet/bird store been a better way to go? And asking the people there what’s best? It’s just what I would do.
My hubby is here. I joined because he loved it but since we got married he’s barely had time to be on here. I don’t censor myself, although I pause just long enough to not ask relationship questions on here when I’m mad.
Sometimes we send each other links of answers we particularly like. Sometimes we send questions to each other. Sometimes we talk about people on fluther like they’re our real-life friends.
We’re pretty open-book with each other, though.
I am completely honest. We have nothing to hide from each other. Once we learned that honesty is more important than holding back our thoughts because we are afraid of hurting feelings, we became a very happy couple.
My SO is not on here, but even if he was it wouldn’t change any of my answers. Anything I post about our relationship he already knows (so if I ever post that I dislike something he does, I would have talked to him about it long before I started on fluther).
My so is not on here and wouldn’t be seen dead on here. Anyway, if he was then I would still give the same answers, but probably not ask the same questions.
My answers would be more or less the same. If he was on here I would put in more in-jokes to him. We actually talk a lot about Fluther questions, people and use some Q’s as a jumping off point for our own discussions. It’s like having a million little conversation starters. Sometimes I wish Hubbs was on Fluther, just because he’s so wonderful and I want everyone in the world to get to know this amazing man.
Mine knows my every mystery. (That includes internet stuff too ;)
My partner knows of fluther and is welcome to read up on me but I doubt he has the inclination. Knowing he’s seen answers of mine doesn’t affect how I answer what I choose to answer, he could learn a few things. heh. Do I know for sure he hasn’t made an account of his own? Nope, I don’t know and seriously doubt he ever would because he’s a video game guy more than a computer guy and he doesn’t have the job I do where he can sit for a spell.
@MrsDufresne Mine knows my every mystery
Reminds me of Cassandra Wilson’s “You Move Me”.
Remember the moments
So precious and rare
The thought
Of you kissing me there
You know my secrets
You know the curve and the line
One touch
And I know you are mine
Rain falls down on me
I can hardly see
For the water in my eyes
Love comes down on me
I can hardly breathe
For the trembling in my thighs
You move me
@Ponderer983 I did both actually, and my SO doesnt think it was very deceitful either.
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