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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Has anyone got any good jokes about golf (or sex if no golf jokes)?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (36630points) June 22nd, 2010

I need some levity to get me over the rape condom thread, Got any good ones? Tonight is golf night so I’ll have some tommorrow.

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7 Answers

Seek's avatar

The Rules of Bedroom Golf:

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Dual GA’s. Thanks I forgot that one. :)

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr: That’s amazing. Is there a tee-shirt or poster somewhere with that written on it?

Val123's avatar

LOL @Seek_Kolinahr!! Can’t top that!

Berserker's avatar

I denno if it counts but…

A man is on the Golf field with his buddies. Having a nice, normal game of Golf…then a hearse drives solemnly by. The man breaks his concentration, turns towards the slowly passing hearse and removes his cap, and lowers his head.
His good friend asks him…dude, what are you doing?

He replies…eh, just paying respects to my dead wife. With that, he returns to the game.

Val123's avatar

@Symbeline THAT WAS MY JOKE!! Only in a different format. That was what I was gonna say. But @Seek_Kolinahr stole the stage!!!!

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