General Question

St.George's avatar

What is the best way to not be seen on Facebook? (please see details)

Asked by St.George (5852points) August 14th, 2010

I am facebook friends with a former roommate, who used to date my friend. He got kind of stalker-y with her. I want to be facebook friends with her, but I don’t want the old roommate to be able to see my friend. How can I be friends with both of them but protect her from him? Should she block him? Would he know she’s blocked him? I’m thinking this would be easiest, but is there a way she could set her privacy to achieve the same results?

As an aside, I’m in my 40s and can’t believe I’m seriously asking this question. Crazy.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

Seaofclouds's avatar

She needs to block him. I think, to be safe, she should block him and be sure to set all of her privacy settings so that he can’t see them.

rawrgrr's avatar

She has to block him in Privacy Settings. This isn’t something you can do from your account unfortunately. Although you can hide all your friends from him entirely.

St.George's avatar

Will he know she blocked him? For example, would he get some sort of notice like “so and so just blocked you.”

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Megan64 No he won’t get a notice about it. He just won’t see her. I’d guess that if he noticed that he can see her one day and not the next he’d figure it out though.

St.George's avatar

He hasn’t found her yet, as she is listed under her married name which he doesn’t know.

So just to double check, if she blocks him there is no way he will ever see/find her through Facebook?

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Megan64 Not necessarily. Facebook tends to change their privacy stuff every so often, so she would have to be sure that if Facebook makes any changes, she stays current with keeping him blocked. Maybe the best thing you can do is ask her how she feels about it. Be honest with her and if she doesn’t want to take the risk, accept that.

chyna's avatar

You seem very worried about him seeing her, so to be safe, don’t friend her. Who knows what glitches could happen on facebook to enable him to see her. Just be email friends as everyone was prior to facebook and myspace.

St.George's avatar

I am worried. I don’t want to be the reason why he finds out where she’s at. Bummer, because I’d rather keep in contact with her than with him anyway.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Megan64 I’d say delete him and add her then, but then you’d have to block him so that he doesn’t notice her added to your page if he still has access to it. Just keep in touch through e-mails and instant messengers. Or, better yet, what about old fashion pen pals? I love receiving letters from friends and family and then writing letters in return.

St.George's avatar

I think I’m going to give her the information and let her make the decision. We email each other and (gasp) actually talk on the phone and visit each other, so nothing lost either way. She suggested it and I didn’t want her to put herself into a scary situation, so I thought I’d check out her options.

I really appreciate everyone taking this question seriously. Thanks.

chyna's avatar

Hopefully, now that time has passed and she is married, there is nothing to worry about.

St.George's avatar

@chyna Unfortunately, I don’t think so.

rawrgrr's avatar

@Seaofclouds and @Megan64 Fortunately, Facebook is very serious about privacy so your privacy settings will not be changed even if Facebook makes changes to its settings, they will remain the same. It will always ask you if you want to make changes.

My advice is go to Account (Top right corner) > Privacy Settings > Then under Basic Directory Settings click on View Settings > Then click Friends List and click on “Customize”.

Once you’ve done that you’ll be able to enter in the people who you want to hide from your friend list from.

Hope I helped!

polinsteve's avatar

Why not just keep in contact by email rather than Facebook?

UScitizen's avatar

The best way to not have anyone see your info written on the wall, is to never place it there. NEVER create a FB account. There is no way it is worth the long term damage.

john65pennington's avatar

Forget the computer and make a phone call. simple.

AshlynM's avatar

The only surefire way is not to create a facebook account. It will avoid all unnecessary drama, which we have way too much of in real life.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther