Social Question

Frenchfry's avatar

Would you go to a gay bar if you were not gay?

Asked by Frenchfry (7584points) September 13th, 2010

A co-worker( back when I was working) invited us dancing . Alot of us went but some didn’t because they would not be seen in a gay bar, or their husband would not let them go. Maybe they were afraid of being hit on? Who knows. Would you have any issues?

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37 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I love when people’s spouses don’t let them do something – what a pathetic union that is, for real. And as an answer to your question, sure – in fact, I have gone to straight bars before – bars aren’t my scene in general but the straight people behaved themselves nicely.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I would have went. I don’t mind going with a group of my friends. My husband doesn’t worry about people hitting on me. He knows who I am coming home to.

CMaz's avatar

I use to live in South Bend Indiana.

I worked the 3–12 shift. There was a local bar I always passed on the way home. It was right in down town. It looked like your local Irish Pub. And, basically it was.
One evening I decided to stop in for a beer. It was “interesting” in that it had a complete cross section of the population hanging out in it.
From cross dressers to working class regular joe’s and Joeann’s. Hetero to homo all just hanging out like you would see in any “regular” bar.

Was rather a cool place to go now and then. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just people hanging out having a cold one and shooting some pool.

wundayatta's avatar

That’s kind of like asking if you would have a gay friend if you weren’t gay. Of course I would go to a gay bar. I’ve been to gay bars, back when I went to bars. That was 30 years ago. But I would have no problem now.

NaturallyMe's avatar

I’ve never been in a gay bar before, bars and night clubs and similar places aren’t really my scene. If it’s a decent place with well behaved people (as with any other public hang out place), then i’ll go if invited.

erichw1504's avatar

I wouldn’t mind and my wife wouldn’t either. I think it would be interesting because gay guys can be pretty fun.

YoBob's avatar

In the college years I played in a band with a couple of lesbians. Some of our best gigs were in gay bars. We did, however, have an issue with on that had a strict “no straights” policy. They worked around it by simply dubbing me “queen for a day” (along with my promise not to try to hit on any of the hot bi-sexual women who were on a girls night out)

As a side note, the problem with being a heterosexual man who hangs out with lesbians is that they are generally better at picking up chicks, as they already have that whole gender thing in common.

syz's avatar

I used to dance at a gay bar all of the time. It was great to be able to go out and not have mouth-breathers hitting on me.

Austinlad's avatar

@wundayatta, I couldn’t have said it better myself—and my experience exactly.

Frenchfry's avatar

@syz What is a mouth-breathers? Never heard of it.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir hate that too when spouses says no
@ YoBob I didn’t know they can say no straight people . How would they know?

syz's avatar

@Frenchfry “Mouth breather” is a derogatory term, usually indicating someone of less than stellar attributes.

jaytkay's avatar

When I was 19 to 25ish, my friends and I went to gay clubs because the dancing was more fun. It was a way to meet girls, too. Girls we met elsewhere would come along because it was a small adventure and they could dance with a lot of guys without worrying about attracting unwanted suitors.

I don’t go to bars much now, but my closest neighborhood place to simply have a beer happens to be a gay bar. I drop in there a couple of times a year. It’s a plain old baseball-on-tv, draft-beer-and-pretzels place.

YoBob's avatar


Ever hear of “gaydar”. Homosexuals have a pretty uncanny ability to tell if one is of like mind at a glance.

Generally the policy (it being a college town) was, as @syz mentioned, to keep young hetrosexual male “mouth breathers” from crashing the bar and hitting on the women in hopes of living out the rather common fantasy of a wild night with a pair of bi-sexual women. Of course, they pretty much new they wouldn’t have a problem with me as:

1) I am not a “mouth breather”


2) I was too busy trying to put on a great show to hit on any of the women in the bar.

marinelife's avatar

I have on a number of occasions.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I have been to both gay and lesbian bars with friends, and they’ve come to straight bars with me. It’s no big deal.

muppetish's avatar

I have a lot of straight friends, male and female, who prefer going to the gay bars in our area. I don’t go to bars period. I don’t drink and I’m not terribly social. Not my thing. I think it’s absolutely silly to not “want to be seen in a gay bar” – but that’s just me.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I wanna take you to a…

Aster's avatar

Why would I go to a bar to begin with? LOL But if I did, why would I go to a gay bar?? I don’t get it. Would it be to gawk or something?But to go to one that simply had gays in there, of course!

Likeradar's avatar

I prefer gay clubs (I’m straight). Like @syz said, I want to dance with my friends and drink and have a good time without worrying about dudes.

@Aster To gawk? Really? Sigh. Possible reasons that don’t include being rude and gawking at people:
Good drink specials
Friends who enjoy the bar
Experiencing something new
Proximity to work/home
Fun social scene
Good bar food

MacBean's avatar

I go (in theory; I haven’t even gone out to do my own shopping in years, let alone go out to socialize) to ‘straight’ bars and I’m not straight, so I don’t see why I wouldn’t go to a gay bar if I wasn’t gay.

Pandora's avatar

I don’t care for bars in general, gay or straight, so no. However my daughter has gone to gay bars with friends. She said, they generally are better than straight bars. In straight bars she said she is approached by drunks who don’t know what no means, but doesn’t have that problem in gay bars, nor did she wittnes any unwanted behavior in general in a gay bar.

Sarcasm's avatar

I don’t expect to pick up any chicks at a “normal” bar anyway. So I don’t see the issue in going to a gay bar.
I don’t really want to go to a bar in the first place though.

Scooby's avatar

I often do, some of my best friends swing both ways …. I just tag along :-/

Hawkeye's avatar

I had a girlfriend whose brother was gay and took us into a gay bar. Just a normal bar.

OpryLeigh's avatar

For some reason the majority of my friends are gay (I don’t know whether that is a coincidence or some subconscious thing) and so yes, I do go to gay bars at times.

iamthemob's avatar

I go to straight bars all the time, and don’t find them morally offensive (for the most part). Why should it be different for you all? ;-)

TexasDude's avatar

I’ve been to them before a few times, but the whole club thing just isn’t my thing, gay or straight.

I’m straight, too, for the record, and definitely not a homophobe in any way

Mat74UK's avatar

The wife took me a couple of times in Gran Canaria, well more drag bars, but full of gay men. If you are aware of your sexuality what’s the problem?

stardust's avatar

Absolutely. Why ever not?

phoebusg's avatar

Plenty of straight-friendly gay bars (most of them), unless explicitly said – that one is gay only. Haven’t seen one like that yet, but I know there are somewhere. In fact one of the gay clubs in town was so successful that there were more straight people in it. I wonder if the gay community was a little bummed :)

BratLady's avatar

I don’t really care for bars anyway. I would go if I wnted to and if hit on I’d let them know I was spoken for.

ETpro's avatar

I don’t go to bars very often, and when I do go, it isn’t to get laid. I’m faithful to my wife. So if the atmosphere is good and the drinks aren’t overpriced, it’s fine with me if it’s straight, gay or a drag queen hangout. In fact, if we had a beer joint around here like the one @ChazMaz found in South Bend, I’d probably go have a drink out more often. That sounds like a cool place to people watch. I love watching girls make out and flirt with each other, so if they’d let me in a lesbian bar, that would be cool too—but not in my wife’s eyes. :-)

TexasDude's avatar

drag shows are actually really entertaining. I have a drag queen friend and that’s the only time I really go.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

I think the only gay bar I’ve ever gone to was in Georgia, but I was already too drunk to really know what was going on.

I’d go to one with friends, or a drag show, etc. No big. The only bar I really frequent usually has nice group of regulars that are pretty diverse, anyway.

iammia's avatar

I’ve been to a few and had a great time, i didn’t and wouldn’t have any issues with my partner going to one with colleagues either

keobooks's avatar

I performed in gay bars for several years with a theater group that did live adaptations of horror movies and sitcoms in the SF Bay Area. Many of my old friends are drag queens and bartenders or bar owners at gay bars.

I quit drinking very shortly after moving to the city, so I maybe went to a “straight” bar a few times. But since my part time job involved touring lots of gay bars, I was there almost every weekend when I wasn’t actually onstage at a playhouse.

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