What are be some "bad" answers to the question "what are your weaknesses?" in a job interview?
Asked by
bob_ (
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May 11th, 2011
I’m sure most of us who have had to go through a job interview have been asked this question: “what are your weaknesses?”
I hate that fucking question, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
What are some “bad” ways to answer it? Be as creative as you want.
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38 Answers
“I’m a cannibal. And if this interview lasts any longer I’m getting hungry…”
My answer is in your details @bob_… I’d say “I hate that fucking question”.
“You tell me yours first.”
I tend to have a problem with sexual harrassment issues, in that I tend to cause a lot of them.
I don’t really see it as a weakness, but other people tend not to appreciate a strong sense of B.O.
Weakness? I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question? Do you mean like days of the week?
I have a difficult time working with people and answering to authority.
I need to make a lot of personal phone calls to my wife and my girlfriend and my bookie on company time.
I’m so addicted to Fluther that I may not have a lot of time do any actual work for you.
I like killing baby seals with stolen swords. Oh and chocolate.
Alcohol and hot chicks on weekends.
“I’m a bad aim, so I got an automatic to help me shoot quicker.”
“There are times I’ve taken on too much instead of asking for or allowing help. What I learned from that is to not let my efforts waste valuable time or jeopardize delivery for the client, to catch myself before getting all consumed and losing track of the overall objective. I now take medication for my OCD and manic outrages.”
“My impatience to want to learn everything, to know everything as if everyone around me is going to judge me for not being up to speed right away. Having such a big ego is rough. People don’t understand how important it is for me to better than them.”
I tend to get fired for sexual harassment. But my lawyer says you can’t refuse to hire me on that basis or I can sue you.
“A bullet to my head would probably do the trick, that or acid maybe. You could maybe try and cut off all my hair, but I think that one is not actually based on reality and probably wont work, but yea… just the usual really”
Having sex on my bosses desk when he’s in a meeting
“I have trouble coming up with answers for shitty 2-day-management-crash-course-bullshit-questions.”
“I’ll need Thursdays and Tuesdays off to meet with my parole officer.”
I vomit at the sight of an office desk…speaking of, ouurpph!
I need to work from 11 AM to 3 PM with a two hour lunch.
“My suddern epileptic seizures and iritable bowel syndrome”
It doesn’t happen often, but I’ve been known to get a little violent at times.
Well, when I was in the military it was fun killing people, but I didn’t get to kill nearly as many as I wanted to. : )
I’ve KNOWN some people like this. Yes, they really are out there!
My addiction to internet porn and fluther of course
Excuse me while I remove my butt plug so that I can hear you better.
Well, your mom might think it’s my propensity to talk about you while we’re getting down and dirty.
I have this terrible need to taste all of the office supplies in the re-fill cabinet.
I never go number 2 at home. I save it up for when I get to work. But don’t worry, though because I eat a lot of beans and cabbage and garlic.
I have a very small bladder and I drink a lot of coffee.
Quit with the butt plugs already!!!
A “bad answer” is any answer that doesn’t make reference to your strong points, though you’re pretending as if you’re relating a so-called weakness.
Example: “I have a bad habit of paying too much attention to details when performing an assigned task.”
Weaknesses sir? Well if you feed me past midnight I turn from this cute creature in front of you into a cranky humanoid reptilian creature with bad attitude.
“Try as I may to get up in time, I’m always late. I make up for it by working extra hard when I do get there.”
“I have a problem with staying on task now and then because I get bored, but I’m working on it.”
“Authority figures make me nervous.”
One weakness I have is lack of foresight. For example, I was a headhunter for another corporation, until I ran out of space in my freezer.
I have a weakness for whomever I need to sleep with to get promoted, i.e. whistles aren’t the only things that I blow.
I have a weakness for 2nd-Amendment solutions to work-related problems.
@SABOTEUR That’s what bugs most people about the question. It’s so cliché: everybody puts a lot of attention to detail, works too hard, and is a perfectionist. See the comic I posted.
Here are some of my answers:
- “My penis is too big.”
- “I’m selfish in bed.”
- “I like to steal staplers.”
- “Your wife.”
- “Your daughter.”
- “Some pending litigation.”
- “Bad checks.”
- “Insider trading.”
@bob Yeah…I know. It’s one of the reasons I’ve put off applying for promotions. Instead of just stating my qualifications and accomplishment, I must submit a form that must be worded in such a ridiculously contrived manner that I don’t want to be bothered with it.
But, if you don’t play the game their way you don’t advance. So, what can you do?
I burst into singing a Lady Gaga song every 15 minutes…speaking of which…
@CaptainHarley LOL for some reason though maybe I would not mind having a co -worker do that once in a while to break office humdrum. But not every 15 minutes!
This and that, oh, it’s not really a weakness.
Weaknesses sir? I’m afraid I’m quite the narcoleptic but don’t worry I have it under con…tr…ol…zzzzzzzzzzzhhhh…...zzzzngorkzzzzzngrokzzzzz…...zngork!
Modern companies and modern bosses focus on ultilizing all strenghts because the weakening of weaknesses is very time consuming and also quite ineffective.
The one I hate is, “Why should we pick you over the other candidates…”
The real answer is, “I have no freakin’ clue who the other candidates are or what their qualifications are so how in the hell am I supposed to answer this question???”
A couple of times I’ve just said, “Because I’m better than they are!”....
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