General Question

Jude's avatar

Did you "marry" your Father or Mother?

Asked by Jude (31966 points ) May 16th, 2011

Are you married to or dating someone is very much like your Mom or Dad?

I would have to say, no, for the most part. She is selfless, kind, and shy. My Dad is selfish/egocentric, and outgoing. They both tend to be a bit on the messy side.

After seeing the way that my Dad was around my Mom, I told myself that I would never be with anyone like that. None of my partners have been like my Dad. Although, with some I found that some tended to avoid conflict, and they didn’t have much of a backbone. Very much like my Dad.

You?

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29 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

In some ways yes. In many ways, not at all. However, I definitely have noticed over the years that I am attracted to many of my dad’s positive traits showing up in a person that I am with.

Stinley's avatar

I married my sister but shh, don’t tell Mr S, he can’t stand her

Pele's avatar

My parents were a perfect couple. I never saw them fight. My father was always romantic. He was kind in nature. So, no. I date self centered a-holes. Not an a-hole to me, just a-holes in general. I don’t know how I find them, I just do. I adore my currant a-hole. He’s kind to me, he’s just crazy artsy-smartsy too-cool for school type and also has a major case of adhd.

gm_pansa1's avatar

Can’t say that I am dating anyone like that. Same for marriage.

SuperMouse's avatar

My first husband was almost literally the exact opposite of my father. I am 100% sure that is what drew me to him in the first place. I was 18 and having a horrible time at home, he was there, and I ran as fast as I could away from the situation at home. Not a great choice, as a matter of fact it turned out to be a very bad choice.

My husband now is much more like my father. He is a very strong man and an alpha male like my dad. As much as I am challenged by my father and our relationship, I think his influence on me and my personality makes me much better suited for this type of man. I need to be with a strong man who faces life head on and is not easily intimidated. I am much, much happier now then I ever was with my first husband! As a side note both of my sisters are married to men like our father and both have had pretty successful long-term marriages.

laureth's avatar

My mom was abusive, my dad non-existent. Instead, I married a helpful, respectful guy who loves me to bits. I think I did OK. :) Of course, this was after several non-married relationships that featured emotional abusers and the like. They taught me what I didn’t want in a man so I could marry a better one.

Hibernate's avatar

Neither.

creative1's avatar

I would say I am attracted more to the type of men like my uncle, I secretly had a crush on him when I was a kid. He was very intelligent and I always looked up to him and couldn’t wait when he would come over so I could ask him all sorts of questions. I loved my father dearly but it was my uncle whom I wanted as someone I saw as the type of man I wanted as a husband and that is the type of man I date. If I don’t find I can learn something from them I just don’t feel an attraction there, kind of weird that way.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I date someone that is clearly nothing like my father. He’s great!

ragingloli's avatar

No, but I got married to an ugly fat girl in kindergarten. Even had to kiss her. Blargh.

filmfann's avatar

I dated all kinds of exotic women, and was shocked a couple years after marriage when I realized I had married a woman very much like my Mother.

knitfroggy's avatar

My husband and my dad are very opposite. They are both good men, but they have very different personalities.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

I found the good traits of my dad’s in my husband and it’s actually something I was seeking. I’m glad though that the good traits of my dad’s are not in my husband, so I get the best of both worlds. They get along very well though and are best friends.

stardust's avatar

Funnily enough, I’ve dated really good guys – nothing like my father at all. Yet, I left the relationships because the guy was too nice, affectionate, caring, etc. All things my father never was.
I’ve been single for quite a while now and I’ve had time to figure myself out a bit more and I look forward to meeting a guy with the above qualities and more.

cockswain's avatar

Not even close. My mom is an uptight white lady. My wife is a hip, funky black lady.

blueiiznh's avatar

Neither.
I did however date someone like my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend.

RTT's avatar

I can not help you with this question because I am not married. If I do married I hope the person will not be like my mother or father. Thank you, RTT

Sunny2's avatar

Very much my dad. But my dad was always right, no matter what. My husband is not dogmatic. Both were very much in charge, had great senses of humor, were tall and attractive, were honest and responsible men who had a silly streak.

flutherother's avatar

My wife was very unlike my mother, however we are now divorced.

tinyfaery's avatar

Neither. I married my grandmother.

wundayatta's avatar

Both, according to my therapist.

Plucky's avatar

I’m not married ..but we’ve been together 10 years (close enough). My partner is, for the most part, very different than my mother and father.

Ladymia69's avatar

Yep. He’s a lot like my Daddy (RIP Daddy). And I love him so much!

cookieman's avatar

Not even remotely close. Thank heavens.

keobooks's avatar

I married my grandpa. I’m REALLY glad that my parents lived with my grandparents when I was little and this was the man I imprinted on. My dad is a bit of a prick.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Not at all. I love my mother, but I could never be married to someone like her. And given how much I am like my father, I doubt anyone like my mother could stay married to me.

Hamizi's avatar

I love my parents, but I will not marry people who like them,they fight for money every day when they stay together.

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