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TexasDude's avatar

What is the final boss of Fluther?

Asked by TexasDude (25229 points ) February 23rd, 2012

Anyone who has ever played videogames should be familiar with the final boss fight trope.

I’ve noticed that this trope has spilled over into the non-videogame world. My friends and I often joke that undergraduate thesis and comprehensive exams are the “final boss” of our college. People also joke that a semi-famous local ambulance chaser attorney is the “final boss” of our city. I’ve heard the trope used in other contexts as well.

So my question is, in the great game of Fluther, who or what is the “final boss?” Is it Augustlan in a 30 foot mech-suit? An army of Fiddle-Bastard clones that form into a giant snake monster? A gauntlet of famous trolls that only want nice people to answer their questions about comfy windbreaker jackets?

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60 Answers

JilltheTooth's avatar

I am going to give you credit for the cute-itude of a question that I cannot begin to comprehend.

linguaphile's avatar

Final bosses… Wundayatta and Marinelife, our king and queen of lurves :D

gailcalled's avatar

Milo here. Need you really ask?

Pandora's avatar

Sopa, as a giant spider wearing a comcast logo shirt.

mazingerz88's avatar

There can be only one so obviously it’s this guy! : )

picante's avatar

A fiddle-playing giant penguin, sporting Wundy’s mapped ass and a sword marked with Augustlan’s insignia.

wundayatta's avatar

Surely that would be Bendrew? Or….horror of horrors… Twitter, itself! After all, Twitter is the boss of Bendrew.

Nullo's avatar

Neptune, Eater of Jellies.

thorninmud's avatar

Depends on the “player”. If you’re a theist, you’re going to have to deal with @Qingu. If you’re a faith basher, you’re going to have to confront the unassuming goodness of @judi. If you’re a sloppy writer, @gailcalled will likely eat your lunch. If you’re a sloppy thinker, good luck getting past @saviorfaire (among others). If you’re a troll or spammer, then she who must not be named will find and destroy you. If you’re an out-of-control flutherer, then you’ll eventually run afoul of your SO or your boss.

marinelife's avatar

Augie and her whip.

janbb's avatar

I finally agree with @Nullo about something! It is Neptune – the scary dude who eats deleted Jellies.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Yep, I think it must be this dude. He’s the last thing departed jellies see on Fluther.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Dr. J of course.
Considering he’s on every page and all

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zensky's avatar

Lurve the question and the imagery it gave me.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I already beat the boss of fluther.

XOIIO's avatar

Grumpy Fish in a mech suit.

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dappled_leaves's avatar

^^ I was kind of wondering…. :)

King_Pariah's avatar

Whoever happens to aggravate most jellies, clearly that individual is the big bad boss.

Joker94's avatar

I dunno, but if he/she/it happens to take the form of an armor spider, I’ll shit bricks.

janbb's avatar

@linguaphile Getting scatter-brained, were you?

Kardamom's avatar

Well, I always defer to Jeruba. She just seems like she’s a billion times smarter than me : )

Blackberry's avatar

The final boss would be Wundayatta, Jeruba, Marinelife and others turning full troll and breaking everyone’s heart. Then we would come together and debate them to oblivion.

linguaphile's avatar

The final boss is… embarrassment. X-P

HungryGuy's avatar

Probably me, in my dungeon.
If you end up locked up in my <NSFW> cum sponge harness, </NSFW> you lose.

rebbel's avatar

To be Lurved to death.

fundevogel's avatar

I faintly remember tell of something dark and evrul lurking in the lonely corners of Fluther. A mad beast that picks its teeth with baby bones and weans it’s young on the blood of gods.

HungryGuy's avatar

^ Gods bleed?!?!

KateTheGreat's avatar

Symbeline and I after we conquer the world triumphantly after the Zombie Apocalypse.

fundevogel's avatar

@HungryGuy A lot of things bleed if you poke them hard enough.

There really isn’t a better way to phrase that.

DeanV's avatar

A small room with AstroChuck as he makes tens of millions of “lurve” puns for hours on end.

gailcalled's avatar

@thorninmud:If you’re a sloppy thinker, good luck getting past @saviorfaire

He is, often, one of the saviors here. (As are you.)

Dog's avatar

As the resident canine, I know all the players intimately.
Because I am loyal I will not tell.

But I will say that amongst the most powerful are those who have the sword of education. Whether pacifist or soldier, those who have the cleanest reason are those back random thoughts with both fact and history.

digitalimpression's avatar

My immediate thought was @augustlan which you confirmed in the description. I’m not even sure why. She’s just so… formidable and intelligent… the way the final boss should always be.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Someday, I shall create a fluther mod for doom.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Augustlan can’t be the final boss. She’s on our side.

XOIIO's avatar

@dappled_leaves OR is she a double crosser?

XOIIO's avatar

*head shakes and eyes blink rapidly

Yes, yes I was so wrong, I’m sorry

*almost vomits

.
.
.
.
.

GASP THIS IS WHAT SHE DID TO ME

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Since no one asked me to further explain my comment, which shocked the hell out of me… the final boss of fluther is actually a giant, shag-carpet covered monster with octagonal red eyes, who tempts you to do bad, bad things. It took me a while, but I finally whupped him good. Auggie held him down while I bludgeoned him with my shovel. After seven hours, and much crying and screaming (on his part), I finally forced him to do my bidding. If your chocolate and rum goes missing, well… too bad.

ucme's avatar

The bastard dedicated servers.

Symbeline's avatar

@fundevogel I faintly remember tell of something dark and evrul lurking in the lonely corners of Fluther. A mad beast that picks its teeth with baby bones and weans it’s young on the blood of gods.

That’s probably the most badass thing I’ve ever heard.

This is an interesting and fun question. I love @Nullo‘s answer. Seriously, Neptune. Just look at him. Smiling with the remnants of someone in his mouth. I’m sure Kefka from Final Fantasy VI would appreciate this.
Neptune just doesn’t fuck around. You can’t defeat this guy. However, seeing that, in order to meet Neptune, you must go out and look for him of your own will, instead of him being part of the storyline like a regular final guardian, I’d say he’s more like an optional boss…one of those optional bosses that is even stronger than the final boss, like a lot of the Final Fantasy games like to have. (Ruby, Emerald, Ozma, Omega) You don’t have to fight him though. He’s optional. But he’s nigh unbeatable, and you shall die if you confront him…yeah man. Yeah. Neptune. Neptune the optional crazy ass boss.
However, crazy ass bosses always have some actually really easy method one can use to destroy them, most usually a method that requires hours and hours of time wastage in order to meet the final preparations needed for confrontation. Then they’re really easy. Like Neptune…just get Fluther to resurrect your sorry ass, and Neptune can’t say shit.

This question has got me thinking…who here on Fluther would fit what role in a video game? If I take a traditional JRPG (Japanese role playing game; because they always have the most epic last bosses, even if they’re always either angels, or giant trees) approach, I’d make myself the random mercenary secret character that’s some psycho Viking with a hammer, roaming around somewhere. Money, beer, chicks…you got something worthwhile to offer, I’ll lend my aid, if you think you need it. But then, those types of characters usually have some backstory that can be explored with the right conditions met, and @KateTheGreat won my soul with zombie up fucking. I was not loved up in the frozen North, until she came along.

Now, @TheBastard…I see him as the all knowing wise man in his study with all his books. He knows everything about the world and what threatens it. He gives the characters their quests, the explanations around the quests, what needs to be done and why. He cares about people, and when you walk out of his office to undertake a mission, he says, wait. You turn around and he’s got some crazy firearm over his shoulder and he’s all like…I’m comin along, bitches.

I totally want to rip off this question and ask who in Fluther would fit what role in any given game…but we got ourselves a quest goin down up in da hood, ya.

Symbeline's avatar

Also, Neptune.

fundevogel's avatar

@Symbeline I’m pretty sure I would be one of those oblivious characters you’re obligated to talk to that only has one or two things to say but will repeat them over and over if you make the mistake of initiating contact. And of course you’re compelled to initiate contact. I’ve probably got some some stupid root you need for a potion but will only trade for a new wagon wheel at which point my every syllable becomes devoted to my urgent need for you to acquire a wagon wheel for me.

Yeah..I don’t often play video games. Nothing could really follow Kings Quest 3.
fuck you wizard

Symbeline's avatar

The link doesn’t work, but I need your stupid root, and your friendship too. Welcome to the entourage! :)

I’m playing Legend of Mana, and one key item, in this case an artifact, is a actually a wagon wheel that turns into a whole highway when you use it. and the last boss of this game is a tree, or some tree girl thing

Also I think your character would say more epic things hat have nothing to do with wheels, whether or not those turned into lands. I may be just much too awed, or afraid to disappoint in order to reply with something constructive. You’re the type of character that should be the hero, but for some stupid reason, isn’t stop collecting roots!

fundevogel's avatar

You and I are getting beat by the hotlinking police this week aren’t we?

here ya go.

Symbeline's avatar

i gotta play this

fundevogel's avatar

It’s out there for the downloading. I have a version, but since I got a new computer…several years ago… I need to dig up another DOS-box or whatever to run it on.

fundevogel's avatar

Goodness, you flatter me so.

Symbeline's avatar

This is a PC game, yea? I have an emu on my PC for just about every nes and snes game out there. i only wanted it for that Sailormoon JRPG No KQ anywhere on the list though. I think it made a Sega appearance, but eh, ain’t sure.

And I flatter no one! got some roots thou may spare the now?

fundevogel's avatar

Old school PC. It runs on MS-DOS.

I have a little text file that reminds me what commands I need to type. As a kinderling I had a hell of a time remembering what was supposed to go in after C:\. I’m no better at it now.

fundevogel's avatar

thou shan’t have my roots.

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