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jordym84's avatar

I'm worried about my friend. How do I keep myself calm until I hear from him?

Asked by jordym84 (4742 points ) November 26th, 2013

I’m a little worried that something may have happened to one of my really good friends and it’s starting to make me incredibly anxious.

We normally text each other throughout the day and today was no exception. My last message to him was around 1:30pm (EST), before I had to leave for work, and it’s now 3:20am. Since we live in different countries, we use a free messaging application which let’s you know the status of the message (Sent, Delivered, or Read).

It’s not like him to go this long without writing back. Normally I wouldn’t worry about it if he’d read the message but didn’t reply. However, it just says that the message was delivered but never read. We haven’t had any disagreements or anything of the sorts that could explain him not wanting to talk to me so I can’t help but think of worst-case scenarios.

I have no reason to think that something bad happened, but that’s where my mind keeps going.

There’s really nothing I can do at this moment other than wait until he writes back but I am seriously worried. How do I keep myself calm until I can talk to him again?

Just to clarify: I’m not at all upset that he may have read and not replied to my message; my concern is that, since it says that the message was never read, something may have happened to prevent him from getting to his phone.

Thank you in advance!!!

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24 Answers

Smitha's avatar

Why don’t you try to call him?

jordym84's avatar

His phone is only connected to WiFi because of the higher costs of keeping it in service while overseas.

Smitha's avatar

Just don’t worry, may be he could have lost the phone or could be something wrong with the phone. Do you know any of his friends or relatives number or his office number?

jordym84's avatar

That’s what I’m hoping happened…

We all stay in touch with him the same way.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Don’t worry, there is definitely a sensible explanation for this. Something important may have come up that must get his immediate attention or what is even more likely is phone problems which is what has prevented me from contacting my loved ones overseas a number of times.

Smitha's avatar

I do not feel I have the best advice for you because at times even I also have such bad thoughts when my husband or child goes out and comes back late or does not respond to my text messages.
Whenever you have an irrational thought try to think of the most logical reasons rather than negative ones, this will definitely help you to slowly overcome the irrational thoughts of something bad happening to your loved ones. Instead of worrying about bad consequences think about logical reasons like he must be busy at work, maybe he has got distracted by his friends/family or something has gone wrong with his phone etc.

longgone's avatar

I bet he’s fine! Remember, bad news travel fast – someone at the hospital would have the sense to call a contact, wouldn’t they? Try to distract yourself somehow…occupying my brain works for me, as well as learning a new song by heart or playing the piano.

jca's avatar

Keep busy. That’s a good way to stay distracted.

Please post an update as to the outcome.

Thanks.
JCA
The Update Lady

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Sometimes stuff is the thing we couldn’t have thought of. I had my little flip phone in my pocket one day when I hopped into a cab. I had no idea that when I sat down, it fell out of my pocket. This was at my daughter’s school. I told the cabbie we had to go to a school supply store, and that I’d call him to come for us when we were done. When I was ready to go, I had no phone. I was outside, hoping to find it where I’d gotten out of the cab. No luck, but the cab drove up. He’d figured I must be about ready to go, so he just came back. I found the phone at the school, but it had been run over. It was on, but acting weird. I had to get a new card for it, which took a couple of days. During that time, some friends got ticked off at me for not keeping in touch.
Give it some time. All sorts of things could have happened, most of them harmless..

zenvelo's avatar

His phone broke. Or he didn’t pay the bill. Or his charge cord broke. Or the power is out from winter weather. Or it slipped behind the seat cushions on his couch and he can’t find it. Or it fell out of his pocket into a sink while he was washing his face.

But he is okay!

Last month a dear friend was to text me when she got home to let me know she’d made it safely. Two hours past when she should have been home (I built in time to stop for shopping on the way) she didn’t reply to my text or my phone call.

I went into a bit of a panic. Turns out she’d met her boyfriend for dinner when she got home and hadn’t checked her phone. Nothing to really worry about. I learned a lesson about letting people go.

emjay's avatar

Ugh, I’m the worst about this. I always panic that my best friend/boyfriend is dead, got in a car accident, got arrested, stabbed in his sleep, or some sort of ridiculous tragedy has befallen him.
Usually he’s okay. Sometimes he’s arrested. (Joking…. though one time on my way to work his house was surrounded by cops when I passed which i felt was sufficient cause for worry. And it was, cause his roommate was LOSING IT and called the cops on himself. The bf was totally fine, though). Unless he’s in a war zone or something, I’m sure he’s fine.

jordym84's avatar

Thank you so much, everyone! I woke up to a couple of messages from him. Turns out the internet had gone out (he lives in a small island). Now I’ll know better for next time!

Thanks again for the comforting words. :)

Smitha's avatar

That’s great! Thanks for informing us!

Katniss's avatar

Great news! You’re not alone in your mind going to the worst possible place. Mine does too. It’s awful!

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Send the cops over to do a wellness check. Normally I would also say to calm yourself, but just a few months ago my daughter had a bad feeling about her friend that hadn’t returned her calls or responded in a few days. I gave her this same advice, to send the cops over, because I didn’t want her to find something gruesome that would traumatize her. Good thing I did.

creative1's avatar

keep calm, you friend may have misplaced his phone. There is a reason why you don’t want to submit a missing person’s report for 48 hours. I would do as @Skaggfacemutt suggest but only after a couple days have passed, you don’t want to get your friend upset by sending the police over to find him sitting on his couch.

Pachy's avatar

@jordym84, have you heard from your friend by now?

Smitha's avatar

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room His friend is safe and sound, @jordym84 has send an update above. His friend had some internet issues which prevented him from sending messages.

jordym84's avatar

@Katniss It is awful indeed, but it’s good to know I’m not alone in it. lol

@Skaggfacemutt, @creative1 and @Pachyderm_In_The_Room: I heard from him earlier this morning and everything is fine. He lives in a small island and the internet connection was down for a while I actually just finished talking to him on Skype and all is well. Thanks for the concern! :)

@Smitha: I’m a “she.” :)

Smitha's avatar

@jordym84 Oh! I’m sorry!:)

jordym84's avatar

@Smitha No worries!! ;)

Pachy's avatar

@jordym84, glad to hear it.

JimTurner's avatar

Unfortunately it seems the only recourse is to wait it out which I realize isn’t easy. If I was in your situation I would try to stay busy and keep my mind off of the problem at hand.

I would engulf myself in some type of outlet such as TV, music, video games, movies anything that would pass away time and divert my thinking.

Good luck.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Good to hear your friend is okay. I am sure that my daughter has gone days and days before and not heard from her friend, but she had a bad feeling about it this time, and so did I. Call it ESP.

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