Social Question

ragingloli's avatar

Aliens with vastly superior intelligence and technology arrive on Earth, and decide to treat and harvest humans like cattle. What argument will you bring up to defend yourself?

Asked by ragingloli (35275 points ) March 6th, 2014

We will use our superior intellect and your inferiority to justify our treatment of yours.
You have no military option.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

46 Answers

janbb's avatar

I wouldn’t; probably time to cow-tow.

CWOTUS's avatar

… or kowtow, as the case may be. I’m sure that I could easily convince the aliens that @janbb would be much tastier and not so bitter as I.

thorninmud's avatar

I’d demonstrate my “puppy eyes” and fetching skills.

GloPro's avatar

As a woman I will breed and help grow your food supply. Eat all fertile women last!

janbb's avatar

@CWOTUS And I’m a punster to boot so that might appeal.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I would do everything in power to make me be the last meal they ever enjoyed. I might ingest a toxin filled condom or or a chemical that reacts badly when exposed to water. (not to be mentioned here) . They might get me but they’d be sorry.
Not unlike a predator foolish enough to swallow a pufferfish.

elbanditoroso's avatar

If they’re that powerful, defending myself would be worthless and wasted effort. I would be far more likely to try and find a place to hide.

zenvelo's avatar

I eat a lot of kale and brussels sprouts, so I would taste bitter.

cazzie's avatar

I’m with @LuckyGuy . and @zenvelo I am extremely bitter, but for a different reason. If clowns taste funny.. I, most certainly, taste bitter.

filmfann's avatar

I would tell them to first try the tentacle obsessed, anime loving Germans.
One taste of that, and they will swear off humans.

JLeslie's avatar

I would probably be paralyzed with fear and a nervous wreck. I kind of like @LuckyGuy‘s scenerio. That’s how I think of Israel if we ever lose it, blow up everything the Jews created and leave rubble.

I guess if somehow I could be useful to the aliens in a way that did not abuse me, I might try to sustain my life. Some sort of skill I might possess, or work I can do. Although, I think there is a good chance I would be suicidal.

Honestly, the scenerio sounds like the Holocaust to me.

Maybe we would be treated fairly well until they round us up for slaughter? That might change things.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I would form a group of rebels and go out fighting. Superior intelligence may not always beat desperation and organization.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’d quit showering and washing, not brush the teeth, and no deodorant. After a week, I’d be so offensive they wouldn’t get near me.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Me ,I’m going to team up with @KNOWITALL and bring a few friends Mr Smith, and miss wesson, and Mr Browning.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe – maybe they like slightly spoiled human .. you might be the well seasoned appetizer.

Yetanotheruser's avatar

OK, this extremely fantastical scenario calls for another extremely fantastical scenario…

I will deter these aliens (and save the world as we know it) with the my Jedi-like power of paranormal suggestion:These aren’t the (huma) noids you’re looking for!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@elbanditoroso Hmmm, you might be on to something. maybe they’ll have me with a side of escargot.

Cruiser's avatar

I would tell them they will need me to make @GloPro into a breeder. ;) That reminds me of that scene in A Boy and his Dog movie with Don Johnson hooked up to a milking machine for that very reason! lol

Symbeline's avatar

Oh shit, they set us up the bomb!

Well, that’s what we do with animals. We deserve it.

Buttonstc's avatar

@Cruiser

Oh, I remember that movie. What a hoot !

I don’t think it did much box office but was a cult classic of sorts, wasn’t it? My most vivid memory is Jason Robards evil face :)

Buttonstc's avatar

If the aliens come, I’d far rather die fighting rather than just die. So hook me up with the other freedom fighters.

Anybody remember the movie “Red Dawn” with Patrick Swayze ? What a hoot !

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Science say you can’t sexist, the sentient lifeform lotto was here and here only, so by that belief you don’t exist and need to commit suicide as a species to keep the balance of the universe intact.

janbb's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central That was even less intelligible than usual.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^^ That was even less intelligible than usual
Use science to disprove it then; that is what science is for, right? Since science hasn’t proven there is life out there; it doesn’t exist for reason there is no smoking gun,until then they don’t exist.

Cruiser's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Science has the same issue with the existence of God…plus you would get the same counter argument from Heavens Gate believers. That is if any were still alive

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Cruiser Faith doesn’t need a smoking gun, science does.

Cruiser's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Reductio ad absurdum

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ Going on record as saying that live did not just happen here, but else where also?

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Humans don’t taste good. Also, the feed is too expensive (all that coffee, chocolate, steak and lobster). You won’t get much of a return on your investment because there isn’t much meat on a teenager, and if you butcher them later than that, the meat is too tough.

Blondesjon's avatar

Moo . . . Moo . . . Mooooo.

SwanSwanHummingbird's avatar

I’d wait until it was my turn. I think humans deserve it.

ragingloli's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central
Faith, a.k.a. Superstition and Delusion, despises evidence. It requires ignorance to persist.

talljasperman's avatar

I would say that we don’t taste good and have STD’s.

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hearkat's avatar

[Mod says] Please get back on topic. Just because a Question is posted to the “Social Section” doesn’t mean that anything goes. Conversation must still relate to the topic, be respectful, and not disrupt the conversation. Thanks!

Cruiser's avatar

Since the topic is about alien invasion @hearkat and knowing full well what Jellies here are capable of…I would employ all means to protect one’s self from all possible means of probing…just saying! ;)

talljasperman's avatar

Sounds like grade school all over… I would tease the hell out of them until they put me to sleep.

Haleth's avatar

The fact that we can argue is an argument in its own right. It shows that we’re sentient and intelligent. Other than our hypothetical alien overlords, we’re the only known species that can use reason and logic to defend itself.

Also, why would they waste all the energy it takes for interstellar travel, just to come here and eat humans? They can’t, like, grow a more efficient source of protein closer to home? Are we sure we can’t outsmart these guys?

Inspired_2write's avatar

“parts not guaranteed for wear and tear if removed from the original package”.

talljasperman's avatar

@Haleth Maybe the aliens are picky eaters… and have a taste for humans.

janbb's avatar

“How to Cook Forty Humans” – from The Simpsons.

cazzie's avatar

I would point the aliens towards the Sunday gatherings in churches for easy pickings. evil laugh Explain that they liken themselves to lambs and lamb is very tasty.

I would dress myself up as a chicken (I’ve see this work. http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.14006039.0140/flat,800x800,070,f.u2.jpg)

and encourage the aliens to plan with me a sustainable use of the human resource on the planet and help them build ‘stock yards’ and use Temple Grandin’s plans for the quiet and peaceful slaughter techniques.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ragingloli Faith, a.k.a. Superstition and Delusion, despises evidence. It requires ignorance to persist.
Faith is equated with superstition and delusion by those who are deluded enough to believe they don’t have faith in anything, only what they do have faith in is creating a logical meaning to things they can’t prove either. Either way, the ETs would have to go because according to science they don’t exist; no smoking gun, no reality.

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