General Question

Zen's avatar

Am I gay?

Asked by Zen (7705 points ) September 12th, 2009

I love women. I am attracted to them, I love making love to them, and I fantasize about them when I am not making love to them.

The same cannot be said for men.

But I love musicals, Barbara Streisand, Sex and the City, and recently posted questions about hemorroids and even (yeesh) perfume names.

Am I gay?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

142 Answers

answerjill's avatar

Metrosexual?

RandomMrdan's avatar

I’d go with metrosexual…which is how I classify myself.

GeorgeWood's avatar

We know about your Leonard Cohen obsession. I’d go with metrosexual, too.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I would say you’re a man who’s secure in his sexuality. But….now I’m not so sure.

Zen's avatar

@GeorgeWood He’s the best. I wish he was 50 and had another 30 years to go. Shame this will probably be Lennie’s last tour.

;-)

teh_kvlt_liberal's avatar

The only way to reclaim your straightness is if you listen to the village people, then it’ll cancel all of that stuff

eponymoushipster's avatar

Yes, you’re gay. Go get some track lighting and Preparation H and hunker down.

Zen's avatar

@La_chica_gomela Hey, what you doing tonight?

;-)

chyna's avatar

Metro. Seriously, you will make someone a good husband. Metro’s usually do.

Zen's avatar

@chyna Muah. Lurve to you.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@chyna it startles me that you said “someone”

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Zen start saving for a down payment on a timeshare on Fire Island now.

Zen's avatar

Glad I posted this (aftermuch hesitation and trepidation) as it has provided me whith many chuckles and I haven’t laughed in ages, since the hemmies started flaring up.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Zen how long can you hold your breath?

GeorgeWood's avatar

You and Leonard. It comes out. Just the thought makes your “hemmies” throb. I’m noting the use of a cute, affectionate familiarity in nicknaming your ‘rhoids.

SuperMouse's avatar

There is really only one way to know for sure, ask the Magic 8 Ball.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Watch this and tell me how you feel afterwards. This is the only sure-fire way to discover if you are gay or not.

chyna's avatar

Ok, swear, I just asked the 8 ball and it said “no way.” So it is official, Zen is not gay.

Lupin's avatar

Are you thin? Are you neat? Per Seinfeld, there’s your answer.
Mmmm…Do I smell coffee?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@chyna he has to ask.

@evelyns_pet_zebra that’s true. liking kevin klein makes you gay.

Zen's avatar

@chyna You asked, you got your answer: you’re not gay.

Zen's avatar

@SuperMouse This is what I got from the magic eight ball (oy vey): http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~ssanty/cgi-bin/eightball.cgi

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I just asked the Magic Eight Ball and it said Yes! so obviously, there needs to be more research. Perhaps a clinical double blind study at a gay bar called The Pink Stallion. Who’s coming, and who’s buying the first round of drinks?

chyna's avatar

No, no. I know I’m not gay. I asked if Zen was gay.
@evelyns_pet_zebra Loved the link. Still laughing.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra who’s coming depends on how good @Zen is, i suppose. I think he should try a leather bar, The Greasy Pole or The Mancave or somethng.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@eponymoushipster, we all have to wear leather chaps and some sort of pirate shirt.

peyton_farquhar's avatar

@Zen are you a woman? Then yes. If not, no.

chyna's avatar

@zen So when you asked the magic 8 ball, you got no answer?

Zen's avatar

Still dancing and waving my arms to the lovely disco music from the Kevin Klein clip.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

no, you’re not gay
you think in cliches, but hell, so do most people

Zen's avatar

@chyna The Magic Eight Ball said, (gulp), maybe.

casheroo's avatar

Well, I thought you were a woman for a while.

Also, I don’t know what there’s not to love about SATC.

GeorgeWood's avatar

Do you ever wear a sweater tied around your neck, sunglasses pushed up on your head?

Zen's avatar

@casheroo Funny, your thinking I am a woman, despite my Picard avatar and obvious manly ways does not offend me in the least. I’ll disco dance to that.

SuperMouse's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra that clip made me really, really want Kevin Kline. What does that mean?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Zen, you’ll have to visit some gay porn sites and see if it grosses you out. I’d start with some oral sites, and if you can handle that, take the next step and head for the anal sites.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@SuperMouse I recently bought that movie on DVD because it is one of my favorites. You tell me what that means and I’ll tell you what your question means.

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Welcome (at last) to the question. I’d been expecting you. I do not think in cliche’s, I was just having a little fun. I am perfectly happy with my sexuality and I love all people of all races and religions and sexes and persuasions, as long as they are good. Homo, Straight, Curved, Black or Green – I don’t care.

How’s it going with the baby?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

:::sends nude pictures of Brandon Frasier to @Zen, and waits for his response.:::

Zen's avatar

@GeorgeWood I do not. I don’t like sweaters. But I do keep my sunglasses on top of my head occasionally, so I guess that’s halfsies?

And welcome to fluther, dude.

Zen's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra Loved him in George of the Jungle

Zen's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra Regarding your post about gay sites: which ones do you recommend?

GeorgeWood's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra this one is a better test…

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Zen, I loved him in that movie Blast from the Past and Encino Man too.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@GeorgeWood stop it, images like that are going make me have to type one-handed.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Zen, This is one of my favorites. The magazine subscription is nice, too. =)

eponymoushipster's avatar

wondering why @evelyns_pet_zebra has nude pics of brendon fraiser laying around…

Well, @Zen, if you want to be gay and on Fluther, you just need to mention it constantly and act like anything and everything is so passe.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen wis.baby is good – almost 8 mo. now

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@eponymoushipster that much is obvious, doncha think?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra a freakish love of the Mummy movies?

casheroo's avatar

@Zen I never found your responses particulary manly. And I thought your avatar was some Star Trek thing..and you were a girl that liked Star Trek lol

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@casheroo what are ‘manly’ responses?

casheroo's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir He mentioned his “manly” ways…and in my mind I always read his responses from a female point of view. More in my head than anything.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@casheroo no I know these are things people say but since they actually have no real definition, I, just for kicks, like to hear what each person thinks are manly things to say

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@eponymoushipster yeah, let’s go with that.

gottamakeart's avatar

unless you’re craving “action” with your own gender, you’re not gay….. just confused by stereotypes or , maybe just posting a silly question for a laugh…

jrpowell's avatar

I always read your post in SinĂ©ad O’Connors voice. I think that makes you gay.

Or maybe that makes me gay. Fuck, now I am confused.

Zen's avatar

@johnpowell It’s been seven hours and fifteen days…

XOIIO's avatar

Here’s how you can find out:

Hold your arm out, and put your forearm up. If your wrist is limp, your gay.

joni1977's avatar

yeah, I’d say metro and all that other stuff too…actually, can I just get the lurve?

doggywuv's avatar

The answer to your question is the same as the answer to the question “Are you romantically or sexually attracted to members of the same sex?”.

Your love of musicals, Barbra Streisand, Sex and the City, and inquiries about hemorroids and perfume names do NOT make you homosexual, though maybe feminine.

rooeytoo's avatar

Who cares, with your sexy Picard avatar, I will be your friend no matter what!

sjmc1989's avatar

Most definitely.
No not really :) society just has put labels on what is acceptable for a hetrosexual man to like and what a homosexual man is supposed to like. You are who you are and you like what you like…so enjoy

peedub's avatar

No, just ghey.

nightmonkey's avatar

You sound pretty gay to me

Facade's avatar

You’re a “super huge mega lesbian!”

ava's avatar

You sound absolutely perfect to me! Will you marry me? ;)

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Of course you’re not gay- you have some gay stereotypes is all, but don’t waste your time on stereotypes.

Jack79's avatar

hmmm….are you gay you say? Well…one sure way to find out… ;)

cookieman's avatar

I’m going with “metrosexual”
(something I know a nothing about – ::ahem::)

While this is all in good fun (and yes, I’m a huge metrosexual), I actually had a guy ask me, years ago, ask me to leave my messanger bag (murse) in the car as he didn’t want his son to “get the wrong idea”.

eponymoushipster's avatar

Do you own assless chaps?

Zen's avatar

@ava Can I see a photo first?

MissAnthrope's avatar

I have to say I’m slightly offended by the fact that everyone seems to be jumping on the gay stereotype wagon here. I realize (or at least, hope) it’s meant in good fun, but truthfully, it rubs me the wrong way.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@eponymoushipster all chaps are assless.

@AlenaD, if you knew these folks better, you’d know we are just playing. If it rubs you the wrong way, then either (A). You are new here and don’t know this crowd very well, or (B). you are way too thin skinned and should probably try not to take everything people say as offensive or personal. If you notice, no one has used any derogatory terms, and they are simply playing off the common non-offensive stereotypes of people in general.

If you can’t handle this bit of fun online, you’ll never survive in the real world, gay, straight, metrosexual, or not

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra on the other hand, this kind of response is pretty typical – ah yes, we’re just joking, har har har, if you can’t handle it tough…which just doesn’t work…because when you don’t know the crowd or if you do know the crowd, it’s pretty hard to stand up for certain things you believe in…people often do this kind of ‘playing’, that’s pretty common…and when I say it bothers me, they give me the spiel you gave @AlenaD and then I have the choice of pacifying the crowd or drawing myself in opposition to their ‘harmless’ fun…and to be honest with you, after a bunch of times just like these with certain groups of friends, I’ve simply stopped being friends with them…because at the very least when I play around within my group of queer friends, we do it knowing that we’re also out there doing activist work…but with my old groups of friends all they do is joke around but would never actually do anything to be supportive…and also when I get too ‘thick-skinned’ and this kind of stuff doesn’t bother me, it’ll be so sad…don’t you think? I know this was sort of a rambling post, but that’s just what your comment elicited from me

seventeen123's avatar

positively not. some guys are just more feminine.
there are probabaly masculine girls as well

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@seventeen123 I just don’t understand why those listed things have to be what we denote as ‘feminine’, you knwo?

seventeen123's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
i really dont know. thats just the way our society is whether we like it or not, or whether it’s a good thing or not..
there are always stereotypes & judgements like that.
not sure why..

MissAnthrope's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra – I’ve been on Fluther almost two years now. I’m also very perceptive and was able to deduce by the tone of the thread that no harm was intended. It still irks me because not one of the people commenting is gay (or at least that I know of), and perpetuating gay stereotypes benefits no one. Even hetero people suffer because the scope of socially-allowed behavior becomes narrower, to the point where a guy who likes to maintain his appearance is debated to be gay, for example.

I get the spirit of jest, and I appreciate that no one was really slamming gays (and I know also from experience that that wouldn’t be tolerated here, for which I’m grateful). However, it’s the perpetuation of the stereotypes that bothers me and perhaps you should be more sensitive to that sort of thing, considering you are not a part of the marginalized group being referenced, rather than my being more thick-skinned.

If I had to guess, I would bet that a thread here titled “Am I African-American?”, whereupon people began asking if the questioner likes watermelon and fried chicken and yelling at the screen in the movies, would not be tolerated and people would take offense. I know I would. I feel dirty for even writing that.

So, I ask you, what is the difference?

jonsblond's avatar

@AlenaD You make great points. I wonder if the question were “Am I Republican?”. It would receive much bashing. and I think it would be tolerated….interesting. (though political affiliation is a choice, the other two are’t. Never mind.) :)

rooeytoo's avatar

I must admit, I didn’t give it any thought but now that @AlenaD made the point I understand. I am that way about jokes about females, such as women drivers, and PMS jokes. etc. I always feel my hackles go up and think that if it were racist, it would not be tolerated.

So in that vein, I apologize if I offended anyone, it was not intended.

Zen's avatar

@AlenaD I believe Simone is gay.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen I believe I am queer, not gay – and it’s not semantics, my friend

Zen's avatar

Let’s see if @AlenaD is correct: In my humble opinion, it is just as important who is doing the saying, not just what he says. Moreover, how he says it is vital.

Those who know me, and even those who do not (but can read), see that I have been playful yet respective. I didn’t think this thread would live to this point and garner so much curiosity, but it has struck a chord. This is a good thing, for when things are hidden and in the shadows, well… isn’t that why they call it “outing” and “in the closet.” I think those dark days are behind us in the civilized world, but not everywhere. And the more we talk about it, and yes, even joke about it, the less violence there will be towards those who are not plain old straight.

This is my intention. No violence between people, for any reason, stupid or not.

And bias against homosexuals is STUPID and wrong. Period.

Having said that, sub topic question:

AM I AFRICAN-AMERICAN?

I’m white, but I love watermelon and fried chicken, and most of my heroes are black like Eddie Murphy and Larry Fishburne.

I am attracted to Halle Berry and Beyonce and I love Obama.

So, am I black?

MissAnthrope's avatar

Well, guess I’m out.

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Queer. Gotcha. Must admit, am not familiar with all the “semantics” or lack of them. I accept you for whatever you are and shall call you whatever you wish to be called. It’s your prerogative, and I respect that. Even someone whom I dislike, and there are a few here, gay and straight, I am always mindful to be respectful. Stupid is as stupid does. Not gay is as queer does. An asshole is an asshole, whether queer, straight or bi.

On the flip side, beautiful people are just that, regardless of genes and or persuasion.

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir :-) wis.lurve to ya.

jonsblond's avatar

@Zen what about fluther.lurve? ;)

eponymoushipster's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra you failed the test on the chaps thing, bucko. get some KY and meet David Hyde Pierce somewhere in the East Village, around 10.

queer. gay. liza minelli husband. it’s all the same.

Zen's avatar

@jonsblond Simone and I are wisugees.

;-)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@eponymoushipster actually, it’s not ‘all the same’ and by saying that it’s ‘all the same’, you are not exactly validating my identity and that is not okay by me..does that sound whiny to you, as well? yeah i don’t have a thick skin…

Zen's avatar

@eponymoushipster You reminded me that Frasier is indeed my fave TV show of all time. No kidding. Hyde-Pierce is one of the reason’s why.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir why do you need me to validate your identity? are you that insecure in it?

@Zen yep, you’re gay. heh.

jonsblond's avatar

@Zen I know. I long for the day that we can all be Fluthergees. Or Jellygees? Actually no, that would mean that Fluther didn’t exist anymore. Nevermind. :P

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@eponymoushipster hahaha…I don’t need you to validate it. I just don’t need you to invalidate it. It’s a subtle difference. But if you don’t want me to give two shits about what you say, I’ll gladly keep that in mind. And p.s. that comeback – even more cliche than ‘uh, don’t you see i’m just making a joke? you dont have humor, blah blah’

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir if i was worried about cliches, do you think i’d keep talking to one? unlike you, i couldn’t give if you worry about what i say or not.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@eponymoushipster yep, I’m a cliche, you’ve figured me out. have a good one.

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir @eponymoushipster Come on guys, admit it. You’re in love! Now stop making all this racket in my thread, kiss and make up. You know you wanna.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen nah, I don’t wanna. I’ll make out with your avatar though. well i’ll make out with @epomouse if they’re liza minelli

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@AlenaD well I’m not actually gay, but I am bisexual that means I’d gladly smoke a hot guys’ dick with great relish so whatever you want to think, I still stand by my words. And bisexuals are MORE marginalized than gays, since even gays see bisexuals as less trustworthy than straights do, according to the studies I’ve read.

And just for the record to everyone, I hate the whole political correctness bullshit and I for one, refuse to bow down to it. Call you me a dinosaur if you like, but I don’t judge folks by color, who they sleep with, or by their preferences. I judge them by how they treat myself, as well as others. A couple of you on here have laid yourselves bare with your comments, and I have taken note. Have a wonderful day!

Zen's avatar

Come a little closer to the screen, simone. Muah.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen dirty. the screen that is

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Zen i don’t think i’m kinky/thin-skinned enough to kiss and make up with @Simone_De_Beauvoir. I’d have to ask her politely if i could give her a Rusty Trombone, so as not to offend.

Zen's avatar

Okay now I’m thinking of a threesome.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

what’s a rusty trombone?

jonsblond's avatar

@Zen You’re so gay ~

Zen's avatar

Thank you all for that brass band definition. Now I KNOW I AM NOT GAY FOR SURE FOR SURE. Period.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Zen you’ll know for sure if you can pull this one off

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Zen, I don’t find a Rusty Trombone to be appealing, and neither does my adopted brother, who is as queer as a 3 dollar bill. I have him on the phone right now and I asked him if the 3 dollar bill reference was offensive, and he said, “no, its simply hilarious.” He only gets outraged if someone tries to call him normal.

Zen's avatar

@eponymoushipster LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Didn’t know that one. I am snorting stuff out of my nose from laughter. YouAmericans come up with the funniest slang. Angry Dragon indeed. FUCKIN’ ROFL.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@eponymoushipster well if you ask politely

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Zen I am snorting stuff out of my nose

that would be an Angry Dragon. yep, you’re gay.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir can we please please please try an Alabama Hot Pocket?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@eponymoushipster that just doesn’t sound good to me, I’d hate to get a UTI

dee1313's avatar

I think a great way to answer this question is to flip it around.

If a woman, who loves having sex with men and wouldn’t dream of doing it with another woman, enjoyed football, action flicks, video games, cars, beer, porn, wrestling, etc, would she be gay?

It comes down to gender norms. When a man breaks a gender norm, his sexuality is automatically questioned. Its not the same with women, for some reason. I have a friend that is going to school to become a mechanic, and her sexuality isn’t being questioned, but I’d imagine that if a guy decided to study poetry, his would. One could say its because of the female rights things that our sexuality isn’t questioned so easily.

I don’t think our society has quite figured out the gay thing yet.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dee1313 when women break gender roles, their gender is questioned…can’t tell you how many times you hear ‘why are you doing that? trying to be a man? you’re the one that wears the pants, eh?’ andall that kind of bullshit…and a woman’s sexuality is questioned as well…if she cuts her hair, doesn’t shave…she’s an automatic lesbian…

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Aren’t they? I mean women who don’t shave their pits are gay, right? Oh waitaminit, those are the French women. Sorry.

lurve.

side: what’s the baby called?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen Ark..short for Arkadiy

Zen's avatar

Russian name, eh? @Simone

You speak it as well, if I remember correctly. Interesting spelling, though, nyet?

dee1313's avatar

I’ve broken many gender norms and have never had my sexuality questioned. Different environment, perhaps?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Zen it is a russian name
waht would be your spelling?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@dee1313 what environment is this?

Zen's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Seen different phonetic options. The parents’ prerogative is always trump.

:-) Lurve.

CatLover002's avatar

@Zen, lol Zen, nice question. But I don’t think you are gay. Just in touch with both your F and M sides. Maybe you are bi? :P

dee1313's avatar

Small mid-western town in a freaking small school.

Zen's avatar

I may be a closet heterosexual.

Leanne1986's avatar

@Zen She spells it B-A-R-B-R-A and there is NO shame in being a Babs fan, male or female!

RAWRxRandy's avatar

If you have NO interest in men then you are clearly not.
Those things you stated are INTERESTS. who cares if you like feminine things? theres no rule saying you have to be gay to like those.

everephebe's avatar

I see you more as a Dennis Hopper.

chyna's avatar

^Ewww…

anartist's avatar

I particularly like the keywords you selected for this Q—“cats” and “home improvement”

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