Most inappropriate thing to say to potential buyers of your property?

“Don’t worry about the well. That stink comes and goes.”

Tumbleweed blows across the thread-bare plains. Ah well, moving swiftly on. Cheers dp….oh wait a minute…

The exorcist has been. She says this house is clear.

I hope you like to paint…. the mould on the ceiling keeps coming back.

@Trillian I’m reminded of the scary little woman in Poltergeist.

The exterminator said he’d offer you the same bulk discount!

and we’ll even leave the pool floats in the basement! that way you guys can have fun during the rainy season!

‘Yeah, it was an ugly divorce. I hated his/her mother too. Now I just need to move as far away as possible.’ then whisper… ‘Don’t dig too deep in the garden.’

The child molester next door is actually a very nice guy.

It only leaks when it rains.

We’ll leave the four sump pumps for you. Hey you never know.

“Don’t touch those barrels in the basement, whatever you do.”

We will pay for the Home Warranty for the first year, but I heartily recommend you continue the coverage after that.

“Show me your tits.”

There are no skeletons in my closet. They’re all buried in the back yard.

“Ever heard of the term swingers?”

Just ignore the permanently sealed door that always smells like death and the blood stains on the carpet. I had pest control issues.

You do not want to dig in the cellar. It is all too dusty and cobweby in there. There are a few bugs there too.

Smell? Eh, that’s just age and, as you know, small animals do die in those places. Now, let me show you the upstairs…

If you find a hidden camera, just ignore it. I’m sure it’s not connected to anything anymore.

Ignore the cracks in the basement. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the foundation.

No, we’re not on a flood plane. That river never floods.

I hope you like bagpipes. The next door neighbor likes to practice on his front porch every evening around 7pm.

@ucme Zelda Rubenstein. That’s who I was thinking of. Well, her and Jim Carey.

Contrary to what those darn doctors say I haven’t had any side effects from the waste that plant across the way releases! (Toothy Grin)

It’s only a problem when it rains.

We’ve always considered the slant in the floor quaint.

The very first neo nazi fashion club, use to hold their meetings here.

the owners of this house have all died of disease due to bad fung shei in the master suite…..unless you put your bed way over there.

True story and mostly unrelated to this question:

My wife and I were looking for a house a few years ago and we were at one that she kind of liked. It was okay to me, too. When we were done looking at it we were standing in the dining room with the realtor talking about things and I noticed that the chandelier in the dining room looked funny; like it was slanted. And it was on a chain, not a pole. So I’m looking at it more, standing on the far end of the room and tilting my head and my wife asked me what was wrong.

“The floor is slanted,” I said. My wife looked at the realtor.
“No, the place is level,” he insisted. I stood on the edge of the dining room and put a round pen on the floor and gave it a little tap to start it rolling. It picked up enough speed to bounced off of the far wall.

We skipped the house. And ran over a tarantula on the way out.

Realtor speak is a language in itself. lol

In my area ( foothills of No. Ca. ) I realized really quickly that one baited question was..’ do you like snow?’

If you say ‘yes’ they tell you you will get some nice snowfalls, even if you are below 1,500 ft. so it is rare.
If you tell them ‘no’ they will swear you are at or below the snowline….uh huh…got a foot last Dec. messed up my life for about 4 days. hahahahaha

Those roaches that come out of the tub drain? Yeah, If you catch one, I’ll bet it’d make the Guinness book! I’d have a box handy, just in case.

The neighbours are great, they fuck every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, thursday , Friday and most of the weekends, if you don’t want to hear them close the windows.

The neighbors are real jackasses.

Which is literally true at for me.

The first morning I was blown out of bed by 3 donkeys and two mules hee hawing…I enjoy my ‘neigh’-bors but OMG! Unbeleiveably LOUD when braying for breakfast! lol

OH! Almost like living next to the Mosque…. but that’s PRAYING for breakfast! hahahahaha

@cazzie

hahahaha,,,,good one!

And if I lived next to a pack of hounds it would be baying for breakfast!

Of course there are also the sheep & the geese, so it’s braying and baaing and honking for breakfast, a noisy breakfast hour over this way. lol