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shirley09's avatar

Is there any way I can get custody of my daughter?

Asked by shirley09 (9points) May 28th, 2011

If my 11 year old daughter wants to live with me, but her mother has sole legal and physical custody of her, is there any way I can get her? My daughter is unhappy there, spending a lot of time babysitting her step-siblings (3 and 5 years old). She cried all the time when she was visiting her aunt and told her that she just wants to be a kid, and never has the chance to be one. My daughter says she’s afraid to say anything because she’ll get a whipping if it comes out wrong. Her mother has told her that her dad and his whole family want nothing to do with her. (I heard all this from the aunt, who is the mother’s sister.) The mother hasn’t let the father see the child in 3 years, and is just now getting ready to let him see her in 3 weeks. Will the girl get a chance to live with her dad? How can I get custody of her?

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10 Answers

Buttonstc's avatar

When I first read your Q I was assuming that you are the father since you refer to her as your daughter.

But then you make reference to the father in the third person. So is this a same sex relationship and the girl is your daughter as well or are you the father?

The way this is written doesn’t really make this clear. Also is this a custody ruling handed down by a judge in court or just an agreement between the parents?

If you clarify these points, you’ll get better answers.

Oh, and welcome to Fluther btw :)

shirley09's avatar

im gonna be her step mom, her mom went to court and the father didnt show up so the judge gave her custody, he dont no what she told them to get custody because he was living in mississippi, at that time they were separated but still marryed, its been years now and all we want is for the child to be happy and whats best for her

Buttonstc's avatar

It’s the biological Father’s place to seek custody of his daughter since you are not a blood relation to her.

He needs a good lawyer. I don’t think he can succeed without one. And he’d darn well better have a compelling reason for why he didn’t show up for when this was initially decided.

What she told the court then is most likely irrelevant now. The fact that the father didn’t showvup to begin with doesn’t look good for him.

But perhaps now that the girl is older they may take her wishes into account more than when she was younger.

But you really need a good lawyer on board who is experienced in custody issues. And even with that it could be dicey. Custody issues are usually messy.

shirley09's avatar

i no,back then he didnt want to fight for custody (1)he didnt want to dill with it because she put him throw enough(2)he didnt want to put his daughter throw all that(3) he didnt want to take his daughter away from her mom, i no it dont sound like the right reson’s but he is doing the best he can if u know the woman u would did the same,one of her famley member’s are gonna testify against her and tell the court what they saw and what his daughter told them i just want whats best for the child

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

The father already has a strike against him because he didn’t show up for court. I don’t know what state you are in, but in Texas the child has some say when they are 13. Of course the court always looks at what is best for the child in these custody situations. As @Buttonstc said, a good lawyer is your best bet, but custody is is messy. Did the father have court ordered visitation and child support?

shirley09's avatar

the mother and child live’s in michigan an the father live’s in mississippi the child was born in mississippi but the mother got custody in michigon

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

It would be highly unlikely that you would be granted custody. Your soon to be husband needs to file for custody if he genuinely wants it. He should also request that a guardian ad litem be appointed, so that someone can advocate for the girl. The GAL will investigate anything going on within the household, and they are very good at looking for signs that the child is being coached by a parent.

At very least, unless he is deemed unfit, he will almost definitely be granted standard visitation. That would be typical in any shared parenting situation, and then they will go from there. They will most likely not remove the child from her mother’s custody unless it is confirmed by a GAL or CPS that the current situation is abusive, neglectful, or otherwise unsuitable for a child.

shirley09's avatar

he does pay child support but the papers dont say he has visit right

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

He can file for visitation. Most states do not use child support to validate visitation, or vice versa, but it does help his case. If he pays child support, he most certainly could and should file for visitation. I highly recommend that he request a guardian ad litem. It makes a big difference.

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