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personperson123's avatar

What can I do about my addiction to fear?

Asked by personperson123 (13points) June 2nd, 2011

I just realized that I’m addicted to making people fearful and making people do things out of fear. I mean I always knew that, but I never knew how far I had gone or how evil it is. I never realized that it was because I myself am in fear. In fear of being alone my whole life, and fearful that no one can ever love me and I can never be capable of love. Anyway I am fully addicted. I love the look in their eyes. That look of fear and hopelessness with a hint of sadness. I love when they’re so scared that they don’t even consider saying anything to anyone. I love having all strings tying them up rendering them emotionally incapable of protecting themselves. I just love it and can’t help it. I love getting into small fun joking fights with my friends and then escalating it until I have my hand raised to their face and they look at me like how could you ever think about hitting me like that? I love the feeling of power and control over them, but I’m not proud. I’d rather have people listen to me because they want to. Not out of force. I’d rather just forget that pitiful look in their eyes. The thing is though I don’t know how to behave. I don’t know how to get a person to be my friend, a real friend. I also don’t know how to give up the addiction. I need support. I need someone who had this addiction. I need someone to help me and give me tips to give it up. Can someone please help me?

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23 Answers

personperson123's avatar

Please don’t suggest me to a therapist I just want someone to help me not pawn me off on someone else.

HungryGuy's avatar

Become a horror writer.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
BarnacleBill's avatar

People would suggest you see a therapist to palm you off, but rather because your problem is very complex, and you have to find the real reason you have it. That needs to come out. Being addicted to making people fearful is a horrible way to live, and I am very sorry that you are that way. It sounds like a coping mechanism for something else.

Children will watch scary movies over and over again, not because they like them, but to desensitize themselves to the shock and the horror of what they are seeing.

What’s buried in you needs to come out and be addressed. You will probably need help to do that.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
erikaziger's avatar

You absolutely need to speak to a professional therapist. Your issue is far too important to be dealt with on a question website. The fact that you mention “raising your hand” to someone”, “rendering them incapable of protecting themselves” and talk about getting a feeling of enjoyment from that is definitely a problem. You should talk to a licensed psychologist.

Smashley's avatar

You need an outlet. Believe it or not, some people are addicted to being made to feel that way, but in a safe and consensual situation. Who knows? Could be fun. Figure out the full extent of your feelings and learn to separate this part of your personality from your daily interactions.

Or, as @HungryGuy said, just bottle it and sell it in your new career as a horror writer…

Ltryptophan's avatar

start investing, it’s all fear.

personperson123's avatar

I already do write horror novels @HungryGuy.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
Response moderated (Off-Topic)
wundayatta's avatar

There are people who will pay you to make them feel fear. Some people can’t get aroused without being made afraid and beaten.

If it really is an addiction, then it’s like any other addiction. You have to stop doing it. You have to, as you suggest, get support in stopping. You have to learn coping techniques to deal with the times you feel like you want to indulge in your addiction.

I’ve never heard of this addiction before. It sounds somewhat sociopathic—as in you don’t have the genes necessary to feel empathy. If you want love, you are going to have to learn to be empathetic. You are going to have to be able to let down your barriers to some degree. You’ll have to be vulnerable, which is far scarier than making people fearful. To tell the truth, if you want love, you’re going to have to grow some cojones. Being vulberable will probably be the hardest thing you ever do. Very, very scary.

Plucky's avatar

This is not an addiction.

I think this is a personality disorder. From what you described, it’s very possible that you have Antisocial personality disorder (Antisocial/Psychopathic Type) ..And/or a mixture of other psychological disorders on top of that. This type of disorder needs very serious therapy and/or medication.

I know you said you do not want to be told to see a therapist. The internet is not the place to get the type of help you need. It is not about pawning you off to someone else. It is about getting you the necessary help from someone who is qualified to do so.

I am very serious. It is extremely important that you get professional help with this. The longer you put it off, the more likely you will end up hurting someone very badly.

JLeslie's avatar

Is this question for real? It is terrifying, no pun intended. I cannot imagine enjoying watching people in fear and enjoying being the cause of it. You must get help if you feel any compulsion to harm people. You want support? What kind of support? No one, except maybe someone else who is sociopathic and psychotic would think this is ok. I am encouraged that you know there is something wrong, but now you have to really do something about it to make yourself better.

Is that what you want others to do to you, or maybe it is what has happened in your past? People scared and threatened you?

syz's avatar

Seriously? Yeah. Therapy. Definitely.

anartist's avatar

It may be useless to recommend therapy, but you need it—what you wrote sounded like a profile straight out of the tv show Criminal Minds

That said, either accept it and go to work as a manager in a company that believes in rule through fear [have them all shaking in their boots as you walk through the shop handing out pink slips every two weeks] or channel it by getting into extreme sports and facing fear yourself.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
jasper1890's avatar

My suggestion is try to channel this into something you can gain from. Instead of taking this out on people, take it out on extreme sports or the stockmarket!

mattbrowne's avatar

Yes, it’s not an addiction. You might suffer from a sadistic personality disorder or even psychopathy, which is a personality disorder characterized by the inability to form human attachment and an abnormal lack of empathy, masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal.

The good thing is that you seem to realize the problem. You need to talk to a professional before someone gets seriously hurt.

Forget about simple tips. This seems far more serious.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
personperson123's avatar

Thanks guys, but I don’t think it’s a personality disorder. I’m not a sociopath, I can feel empathy. I’m not a psychopath, I know the difference between right and wrong. I have been emotionally abused which is kind of why I like fear in people. I used to like watching people in pain, but I (for the most part) got rid of that liking, so nobody is in danger of being hurt physically by me. I just kind of want to talk about this and have support. If I have that I believe I can stop the addiction. The thing is though I can’t give it up until I find a new way to get people to listen to me. I’ve always gotten people to do things for me and listen to me out of fear. I know no other way. Whenever I say please, no matter how nice I am, no matter what favors I’ve done for them in the past the second I ask for a favor I get a blanks stare unless I act threatening.

personperson123's avatar

By the way sports and activities won’t help. It’s not as simple as anger. It’s not hormones running wild inside me waiting to explode that need to find their way out threw sweat glands. It’s something that I unfortunately like. It’s a feeling. Almost a sick perverted, but good feeling emotional reaction. Think about getting rid of this feeling and stopping the addiction to terminating the feeling of happiness. This feeling is my happiness. I need to find an alternative happiness, but I don’t know what the alternative is. There is adrenalin, but I don’t have much access to adrenalin activating activities.

mattbrowne's avatar

You wrote that you love it when you scare other people. Talk to a professional. Your self-diagnosis could be quite wrong.

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