Social Question

snapdragon24's avatar

Do you know why some people do/don't like you?

Asked by snapdragon24 (1597points) March 30th, 2013 from iPhone

Some people like me and some just don’t. Sometimes I know why and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I care and sometimes I don’t…

But now i feel Ive become overly exhausted with these thoughts…cause sometimes you change for the better and people still dislike you…sometimes you make an effort and people still dislike you and sometimes I just think people simply just choose to dislike you without knowing you…

Basically what I am trying to get at is – Do you feel some people are unfair on you? Do you get exhausted with tension and conflict? Have you suffered from a bad reputation and cant get out of it? Have you tried to be friends with people who are just not bothered? Are you ok with what you know about what people say about you? Do you sometimes feel misunderstood and alone?

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17 Answers

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

When I feel like this, I realize, this stuff is all in my head. Most people want other people to like them, and don’t go out of their way to dislike other people, or are thinking about other people at all unless they have a crush on them.

Bellatrix's avatar

I’ve felt all of those things at one time or another but mostly when I was younger. I haven’t suffered from a bad reputation that I’m aware of. In my youth I used to worry more about what people thought or said about me but now I try to not get too wrapped up in those thoughts.

I try to be a decent person and to be considerate of other people. Still, there are going to be some people who don’t like me for one reason or another. Their reasons may have nothing to do with me. Their dislike or irritation with me might be about their own insecurities. That’s just how life is. The old saying ‘you can’t please all the people all of the time’ is true. So, I live the best life I can and if the way I live doesn’t suit some people, so be it. As long as ‘most’ people don’t view me negatively, I’m probably doing okay.

pleiades's avatar

I know what you mean. I go back and forth with FaceBook. Sometimes I want to connect with past friends for a moment. Then later on in the month, I want to erase myself from that world and just focus on my reality. But then the fact that networking isn’t a negative comes back, and the cycle continues. Anyways I think you have to find that balance of just being around the people that are positive and hardworking. Positive and hardworking people tend to be more understanding and just as busy as you so being offensive and not being able to go out at certain times of the day is out of the question.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’ve found that people like and dislike me for roughly the same reasons. Some say I’m honest and realistic and direct, while others say I’m a cold-hearted bitch. Either way, it’s because I speak my mind and I don’t really care if you don’t want to hear it. :)

ucme's avatar

Anyone who doesn’t like me is, by default, a lousy judge of character & someone of bad taste & ill repute. They really should be arrested on charges of crimes against humanity :-)

Pachy's avatar

Sometimes yes, sometimes no; sometimes fairly, sometimes (at least to me) not. That’s been one of the big, hard lessons in my life, accepting that, and admitting that I too am drawn to some people, not so to others.

SABOTEUR's avatar

I’ve been a loner most of my life. Being a loner frees me from the burden of being concerned with what someone thinks of me.

Who cares?

Wondering about what someone thinks binds you to them! They’re home somewhere doing whatever they do…they’re not thinking about me! But their influence exerts so much power that my thoughts are concerned with them. Why surrender power to someone who dislikes me?

There are better ways to waste my time.

There’s always going to be someone somewhere who doesn’t like something about me…fair or not.

That’s their problem…
...not mine.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I can’t control what other people think. I don’t want them in my head and I’m guessing they don’‘t want me in their head, so I just say screw it. They’ll think whatever they want to. If it’s positive that’s nice, but if it’s negative I don’t really care.

Kropotkin's avatar

I don’t know why, but I don’t like you.

bookish1's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever specifically wondered about why someone doesn’t like me, but I do wonder all the time about whether people think I’m an idiot, or whether I’ve committed some intellectual or professional faux pas. I’m an apprentice academic; it seems par for the course.

gailcalled's avatar

In my experience, after a certain age, those terms no longer apply. We have our good friends, our pretty good friends, our acquaintances and the rest of the community. We engage in various levels of intimacy (or not) as we see fit.

I cannot think of anyone whom I don’t like. Some people I greet and discuss only the weather with…but that’s not very onerous.

snapdragon24's avatar

@Kropotkin you had to play that card ;)

@pleiades, I totally understand what you mean about Facebook especially, though it ‘connects’ people together, its not necessarily the reality of things. We are not really apart of these peoples lives anymore…just virtually.

@gailcalled – I think your right in the sense that as we grow older we learn to prioritize our friendships and distinguish the right levels of intimacy that we see fit. And as @Bellatrix mentioned, she felt that when she was younger…and since Im in my mid twenties…I think these are things that freshly weigh on us still.

@SABOTEUR – when you say ‘Being a loner frees me from the burden of being concerned with what someone thinks of me’ I’ve been feeling the exact same way too, but sometimes I find it hard to be a loner…and perhaps I’d be missing out on something… do you not feel that weigh sometimes??

snapdragon24's avatar

oops fixed it

gailcalled's avatar

^^^You fixed it in two places… but in the last sentence it should indeed be “way.” Sorry to have confused you.

snapdragon24's avatar

im not focusing, lets try again haha oh wait they won’t let me edit… oh wells. Ill be more careful next time, thanks for the heads up.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@snapdragon24 I’ve been a loner since high school (I turned 56 earlier this month). My only regret is the internet not being available 30 years sooner. Had it been so I might have avoided two marriages.

Do I feel like I’m missing anything? I’m not missing enough.

I anxiously look forward to the day I can graduate to “hermit”...I won’t have to leave the house ever again.

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