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marksonos's avatar

My sister wants to move in with me, how do I say no?

Asked by marksonos (298points) May 22nd, 2014

I live alone now but my sister wants to move in so badly. She is 19 and I am 24, we don’t have much in common and I enjoy my privacy. Is there a nice way to let her know this is not a good idea?

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21 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

Probably she will get her feelings a little hurt, but I doubt it will be a big deal. Depends on your relationship with her and her personality. You would know better than us how she will react.

Does she live with your/her parents still? Is she going to school? Working? Does she expect to stay with you rent free? Assuming she expects to help pay rent, just suggest to her she move in with some friends and that you prefer to live alone. If she hates where she lives right now you could offer to let her stay with you a month or two until she finds somewhere else to live.

bolwerk's avatar


And state a reason. Like, “I need my space.”

flip86's avatar

Just say no. I’ve had to with my brother before. It was pretty easy.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Pretty much what @bolwerk said. No need to complicate it. I know if my sister asked my response would be “fuck no” and “because I have no room in my life for 40 (going on 16) year-old drama queens”.

bolwerk's avatar

Say what you want and you’re more likely to get it.

josie's avatar

It is tough to say no to family. But if the answer is no, then say it.

tedibear's avatar

“No. I need my space and prefer to live alone.” Repeat as needed.

marinelife's avatar

Sorry, Sis, I prefer living alone. Don’t worry about her. Keep you eye on what you want and need.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I feel your pain. My sister wants to move in with me and the only thing that’s keeping her from doing it is that I live in a different country blessed god- don’t feel bad about just saying NO

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

This is why you should live in a 1-bedroom house or apartment. As long as you have a spare room, all kinds of relatives see it as an option.

seekingwolf's avatar

“No. I need my space. I don’t have enough room. No is no.”

If I lived alone, this is why I would choose a studio. I don’t want anyone thinking that they can just crash with me whenever. If I had a relative or friend in need, then I would probably offer my floor/chair for the night, but I wouldn’t want people thinking that they should ask.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Why does she want to move in?

ragingloli's avatar

Tell her you are a siscon. That will surely repel her.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I piss off in-laws and family all the time with things like this. If you can’t make everyone happy at least make yourself happy.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

It might be a good idea on some levels. That doesn’t matter though. It’s your place and just say no. Tell her what you said here; you like the privacy of living alone. If she’s destitute and this means she goes to sleep under a bridge, different answer.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

You say no. Just tell her you’d rather not because you don’t think it would be good for your relationship and you value that relationship.

longgone's avatar

Could you write her a letter? I often find being clear, but loving is easier when I have my thoughts written down….maybe have someone you trust read it over?

johnpowell's avatar

Would you be sleeping in the same room? I wouldn’t want my sister in my bedroom but if I had the space and made sure she knew that it was temporary (a few months to save so she could get her own place) I would suck it up.

You might find yourself homeless at some time and she could have a place.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But a “few months” can turn into something else. But that also depends on what she’s like.

DaDuede's avatar

Be frank , & tell her I need some more time :p he he :-)

Dutchess_III's avatar

No, @DaDuede. First of all, that’s lying. He’s giving her the impression he’ll let her move in later, when he has no intention of letter her move in, ever. It would just prolong the problem, and cause some trust issues.

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