Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

Men: does this article pretty much sum you all up?

Asked by JLeslie (59781points) September 12th, 2014

Here’s the article, which speaks to women about what men want, need, and do, regarding relationships.

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37 Answers

LuckyGuy's avatar

I quickly went through the list. About half were correct or close to correct. The other half were wrong.
IMO there is grain of truth in the following: 6, 8, 9, 14, 17, 23, 24, 26, 32, 34, 47, 50. The rest are either wrong, stupid, or borderline insulting.

My internet search history often includes strange stuff mentioned here.

kritiper's avatar

Like women, not all men are equal and worthy of being all lumped together under one single defining POV.

janbb's avatar

Seems pretty simplistic and demeaning to me but hey – what do I know about men?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Yeah, about half of the stuff is completely off base or insulting. One that made me smile was number 33. I went from age 12 until a few years ago without anyone to lean on. I found a friend I can lean on if I need it. Not having anyone you can turn to at times is a miserable lonely feeling. And I would never list 50 things that apply to all women. When I thought of that I knew the article was written by a guy. Not a very bright one too.

zenvelo's avatar

It should be re-titled to What Every Woman Should Know About Men in Their Twenties That Can’t Maintain an Honest Relationship.

Really, most men grow out of a lot of that stuff, except for the parts that are just generalizations that apply to everyone, woman or man..

shadowboxer's avatar

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and I don’t think she needs to interact with me using such ridged stereotypes.

A few of the numbers on the list don’t pertain to us because of our mutual respect for each other.

Maybe this article is more for couples who have just started dating.

If I was like half the things implied on the list I doubt if my wife would have married me in the first place and we surely would not have lasted this long.

elbanditoroso's avatar

It may be written by a guy, but it sure doesn’t describe me.

But then, I’m not in my 20s.

(However, I am in full agreement with #42)

ucme's avatar

Cliche ridden horse shit, like those terrible gags you get in xmas crackers.

ragingloli's avatar

It indeed is an 100% accurate description of every single man that lives, ever lived, and ever will live.
Men are genetically designed to be disgusting pigs.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

OK, I will say #2 pretty much sums it up; but that goes both ways. I say #3 is a stretch… a large one. Men may look at other women but it is more (a) compare what he has over what he sees, (2) to feel sorry for who has what he sees because she is not as good as what he has. Well, #4 the ”bros before ‘hos” is quite strong with many guys, but I don’t have time to go into it, thought I have known plenty of guys to get pussy-whipped and for the sake of getting the dumbstick serviced have cleaved off friend and family. I can say no one wants to be unloaded on the moment they come from work, not even women, so #8 goes both ways; you have to let your spouse decompress from work and the commute before introducing your issues. REALLY? I don’t know about him, but I did not want to bang all, or even most of her friends; they were fat or unattractive, or both, that is the same for 80% of the women I see, I would not even bang them with a rented dumbstick. I would say #14 is on point, what better way to help him decompress and forget that commute is when he walks true the door you are dressed sexy with a snack and a cold drink, and while he sits down you are breathing on his neck, nibbling at his ear, rubbing his chest, then when he is about to gobble the last of the snack you gobble him. I am sure ANYTHING you want to discuss after that he is all hears. I will agree with #15, but from a personal POV. I would say aside from #2, #16,17,18 is a wakeup call ALL WOMEN better adhere to. Most guys I know who cheated did not because the other woman was that hot, it was more because the other woman make him feel relevant. Those women who shifted all their attention to the kids, job, etc. and made him feel like just a partner in cleaning and the bills and wasn’t important for anything else were in danger of having him step out. Same way when it comes to weight, most guys expect maybe a few pounds to come with age but not going from the willowy 125lb woman he knew and dated for months before moving in together, to a 230lb woman who spans through 2 time zones. If you purchased a car would you still be as happy with it if the paint faded and flaked off with in a year after you purchased it, even if it were mechanically sound? IMO a woman’s chance to the alter goes down 70% if she has lived with him for more than 24 months and the topic is never spoken if or plans never made. If someone gives you the keys to the car, and pays for the gas and tires, what motivation is there to buy the car? No…..#20 is not a lock. Number 23 was never an issue, she trusted me enough to pick what she was going to wear when we went out, a bonus that will go a long way for women. Number 24 not true will all men, I did more shoe shopping for her than she did for herself! I would say yes:
• Stick by his side at event/parties etc. work as a duo.
• Don’t ever cut his balls off in a fight (which should be very few), it can be a fatal wound.
• Some guys feel so bad about cheating once they will never do it again.
• Some guys one good one is better than two or more so-so in the bed; not all guys want a threesome.
He has a lot of good and helpful points for women, most don’t receive it though, there are still a margin of error there.

muppetish's avatar

I think a few (like, a very, very few) of the items in the article should apply to any person of any gender in any type of relationship. I found the rest to be incredibly presumptuous and misogynistic. They felt insulting and patronizing when applied to any gender. The article itself bothers me as it assumes heterosexuality, but that’s beside the point.

Haleth's avatar

This went around my facebook feed a couple months ago. The person who wrote that article must be a real catch. It’s totally shallow and hypocritical, and it’s insulting to men. I honestly believe most men are a lot better than this.

Coloma's avatar

Relationship articles are so stupid, dear freaking gawd, I am so glad I no longer care enough to read this crap.

You want anal…go find a farm animal. lol

You want to bang my friends, have at it, after the door bangs you in your ass on the way out.

You want to be left alone for 30 minutes after work, no problem, I can leave you alone for the next 30 years.

You’ll always choose your friends over me, fine, I choose my goose and horse over you. Horses are way more fun to ride for long distances.

Let shit go?
Of course, unless the dung heap is 4 feet deep in which case I’ll let you go with all of your shit, here’s a shovel, bye bye stable boy. lol

Learn to play pool? Screw that! Left handed, right brained blondes do not want to play stupid games involving sticks and balls. We want to have stimulating discussions and crack jokes and decorate your bedroom with mosquito nets and paper lanterns.

You mean I have to stress over not wearing jewelry a man has bought for me? Pffft! Don’t buy me jewelry, buy me a hot tub and a new horse. haha

I need to be his moral compass…fuck that!
The ship of fools sails at noon, don’t miss the boat.

Give him a blow job for watching a chick flick?
I think he should give me a blow job for not watching chick flicks.

canidmajor's avatar

This reads like it was written by a visiting alien who had just finished a full-immersion course in early 70s television and print media.

Dutchess_III's avatar

21. He Knows When You’re Lying To Him

37. He Wants To Be The Best Lover You’ve Ever Had
And if he’s the love of your life, he probably is. But if he’s not, just lie to him.

*****************************

13. You Should Learn To Play Pool
There’s nothing hotter than a chick who can beat you in pool.

41. You Should Let Him Win Sometimes
Men hate it when you’re better at them at what they love. He has a fragile ego, and sorry, but you need you to cater to it sometimes. If you throw a game and he gloats, though, all bets are off.
(My ex and his friend played me and his friend’s wife in tennis. Girls against guys. My ex gloated when they beat us by a couple of points. You’d think he just won the super bowl. His friend looked at him strangley and said, “Well, we’re playing 2 women and one of them is 7 months pregnant….” My ex was a jerk.”

************************************

The list was pretty awful, IMO.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Uh, is it just me, or is that list simply a diatribe against things women do “wrong”? It’s insulting to both sexes.

JLeslie's avatar

Wow, I love how some of the answers are so thorough. Stupid list of course, although a lot of them ring true for me with the men I know. A lot. I’m sure for many men very few are true. I wasn’t painting all me with a brush, I don’t know why any jellies thought I actually think all men meet all of the things listed.

My husband certainly is not picking his friends over me, I am his best and closest friend, there is no doubt in my mind about it.

I don’t think men always know when women are lying. I do think women usually know when men are lying.

Almost every man I know wants to try anal. I blame porn.

Almost every guy I know wanted to try a threesome at least when they were in their 20’s, I don’t know if that goes away as they get older. Possibly we can blame porn for that too, although they probably would come up with it themselves.

I don’t think my husband cares if I flirt with his friends. If he does I’m in trouble.

I don’t think he cares if I mingle at a party without him, although he was pissed and still brings it up now 21 years later, that I did it too much at our wedding. I feel badly about it still. I don’t feel badly about doing it at regular social gatherings where we both know people though.

@Coloma You’re hysterical! LOL.

@Dutchess_III Are those the ones you agree with?

@dappled_leaves Nah. You can make a similar list regarding what men should and shouldn’t do. It’s just a stupid tongue and cheek list in the end. Although, some of it rings true.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No! They were contradicting each other. Don’t lie to him / lie to him. Learn to play pool so you can beat him because it’s hot / let him win.

Coloma's avatar

@JLeslie I agree, sadly, a lot of it is true. My ex had an ego the size of Texas, man, he needed so much admiration and stroking, of all kinds. lol
Seriously, I have zero desire to cater to a mans ego these days, that’s a young womans game, it either flows or he goes. haha

Coloma's avatar

This reminds me of all my fond memories of calling up my old gardener and handyman buddy for years and saying ” Scott, I need a blow job!” Our running joke for years.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

The vast majority of that list does not apply to my husband. I can’t speak for other guys I know because many of those topics are not things that come up in general conversation, but the list seems very simplistic and demeaning.

Blackberry's avatar

A lot of the stereotypical biological stuff is true, like the silence, sex, and always needing to look at other women.

Some of the tradition and personality aspects are wrong. I don’t care if you insult my family or friends as long as there is merit of course, but I’m not going to waste my anger on words. I don’t see the point of marriage or kids, but there’s always the biological need to want to unload inside a woman, regardless.

I don’t think withholding sex is wrong, because I don’t feel entitled to a woman’s body, but I do feel that I need sex to make life smoother. It really helps with just generally not going insane in this already cold, cold world.

Coloma's avatar

Well you know, the ideal man is one that after great sex turns into a pint of Ben & Jerrys and a bubble bath. lol

ragingloli's avatar

The ideal man has an on/off switch, runs on batteries, and vibrates.

Coloma's avatar

Oh B.O.B. don’t stop! lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

I wish I could get inside a man’s head for an hour. I don’t understand this concept that he HAS to look, and can’t help himself. that makes no sense to me.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

I am an individual.

Nothing “sums me up.”

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III And, if he has to look that goes along with the idea that you better keep looking good so he keeps looking at you.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Dutchess_III I think there is something innate about it. No matter how hard I try, the clip clop sound of high heels will attract my attention. I’ll pretend I don’t see it or hear it but I do.

I also have an attraction to TV screens. I absolutely hate them in restaurants and bars. When I am with someone, I want to be with them – not the TV. But if there is a screen within about 30 degrees of my guest’s head my peripheral vision will pick up fast changes in color or scene changes and I will look – involuntarily. I cannot help it. That is why I will always pick a seat facing away from the TV. If the venue has screens everywhere that is the last time they see my face.

JLeslie's avatar

@LuckyGuy Oy. If you have to look at all women who click by as their high heels hit the floor then I am convinced it is all men.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@SecondHandStoke “I am an individual. Nothing “sums me up.”

This. Exactly.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@JLeslie I know, right? It shames me a little. I absolutely will not turn around or even swivel my head. Heck, I’ll even pretend I didn’t notice, but truth be told, even for a millisecond, I picked up the reflection in a water glass, the menu, the window, the conference room door, etc.
I would never embarrass my date (or myself) by turning around and ogling. But even though I did not move, I’ll be able to tell you the color of her shoes, dress, and hair as the sound fades into the distance.

Maybe it is one aspect of strong situation awareness.

JLeslie's avatar

@LuckyGuy Well, I appreciate the confession.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My sister and I stopped a room, cold, once, just by walking in! Pretty sure there was some pissed off women that night!

Do men have a hard time understanding how a woman is going to be more attracted by their personality than by their physical attributes? (Glad we have you for a friend, @LuckyGuy)!

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Just imagine the shitstorm if this OP was about any group other than men.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, all the women agree that it’s pretty bad and unfair.

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