General Question

Here2_4's avatar

Men; do any of you like to be given flowers?

Asked by Here2_4 (7124points) September 19th, 2014

A friend of mine is planning to give her husband flowers for their anniversary. She is also getting him a gift, but plans to have flowers delivered to him at work for his desk.
I told her men don’t care about flowers. She thinks he will love them and that they will be lovely on his desk.
I’m wondering what the men here think. Would that be special for you, or would it be just something you have to deal with?

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37 Answers

hominid's avatar

I can’t speak for all men, obviously. And I’m a particular case, I suppose, because I do not like gifts at all. However, I don’t know a single man who would enjoy receiving flowers. It might cause some real confusion. Flowers make such little sense to me, they would likely be the last thing I would be willing to receive as a gift.

Not that flowers in nature can’t be beautiful. It’s the whole cutting them down and putting them in the house – as a gift – that is head-scratching and a bit disturbing.

2davidc8's avatar

No. The giver would be wasting their money, and I wouldn’t want him/her to do that. Flowers are extremely expensive nowadays. I would prefer, for example, if instead of giving me flowers my wife were to save her money and buy herself a dress. That would be more useful and would make me happier.

thorninmud's avatar

I’d appreciate that someone wanted to give me anything at all, but flowers have always seemed like a downer of a gift: you get this beautiful thing, then watch as it slowly dies.

gailcalled's avatar

Or, a flowering perennial plant that can be put in the ground.

gorillapaws's avatar

Same as @2davidc8, although instead of a dress, I’d rather she bought some lingerie. Now that’s a gift I can get behind.

Here2_4's avatar

Wow. I expected mostly men saying no, but I didn’t expect it to be unanimous. I think I’m not the only woman who can learn a little something from theses answers.

Now I’m wondering, (second question I guess), would a walk together in a flower park be better? Flowers growing and staying in the soil, to be appreciated during a quiet walk together?
Any new answers, could you answer both, or compare?

hominid's avatar

Again, this is just me, but what I enjoy on my anniversary is spending time with my wife. Having kids means that we need to actually get out of the house to be able to actually talk and give each other full attention. So, dinner and a walk in the woods is perfect.

Additionally, most men I know resent the concept of the “anniversary”. It feels manipulative, contrived, and driven by many of the things we feel are destructive (consumer capitalism, etc). Whether or not this is entirely justified, I figured that I would just throw that out there. If the desire to spend quality time with one’s spouse comes via the arbitrary trip around the sun, it seems to diminish it in some way. A real gift would be quality time together during non-anniversary days.

gondwanalon's avatar

I was given a big bunch of beautiful flowers right after winning a full marathon running race. It was weird and I got rid of them ASAP. That was the only time I was given flowers. Anyway a romantic walk through a flower garden would be OK with me.

bossob's avatar

When my wife and I were dating, she sent me flowers at work on two occasions. The women I worked with were impressed, and the men found it to be good fodder for teasing. Although I appreciated that she was thinking about me, the flowers were wasted money.

However, I have very fond memories about when she showed up at my door wearing a raincoat with next to nothing on underneath. And that gesture was free.

Thirty years later, I still enjoy spending alone time with my wife. It would make me feel special if she made a point of scheduling some time for just the two us. Sex not required, but certainly gets bonus points.

Strauss's avatar

I would be comfortable receiving flowers. Some 30 years ago, my then-SO and I bought some flowers for a dear (male) friend of ours, I believe it was for his birthday. He appreciated it then, and I don’t see anything wrong with an appropriate arrangement for any man.

As far as my current (27-year) relationship, I’m normally the one who buys the flowers, and it’s usually on a spur-of-the-moment. Although, I’d rather buy something growing in a pot, so next year we will remember that I bought it for her for no reason other than I love her.

Darth_Algar's avatar

As someone who’s livelihood has been involved in the selling of flowers I find flowers to be a colossal waste of money. I’d be kinda pissed if my SO bought me flowers.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

It’s not going to be what I would want. A potted plant or something sure, but not flowers. A bonzai tree would be kinda neat. Something along those lines is an acceptable male gift if it must be from a florist. Flowers are actually a bad idea. It’ll end up embarassing him in front of his office buddies and the odds are about .99 that while a nice gesture he would rather get something with more utility.

It’s going to continue to be unanimous.

IMO flowers are the kind of thing that is expexted. A.K.A. not creative or thoughtful. I stopped giving them years ago. I try to be more thoughtful now and really think about what would really be appreciated by that particular person.

dxs's avatar

If it were in a pot, then probably. I like plants.

hearkat's avatar

I am not a man, but my fiancé is, and he likes flowers more than I do.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I wouldn’t give flowers because I don’t like receiving flowers. Such a waste of money.

snowberry's avatar

I’m a woman, and I don’t like receiving flowers. Hubby (male) on the other hand, loved giving them to me. For many years he’d give me flowers and I always sort of hated them, but he couldn’t seem to think of anything else to give me. Then he was in a wreck, and I started looking for ways to brighten his hospital room and later the table beside his chair. It turns out he loves flowers! LOVES them!!! So now I have a standing order with the florist. He gets them, ,loves them, and I don’t have to deal with them except to replace them every so often.

cookieman's avatar

I’m sure I would love it. Particularly if they were something interesting like a cymbidium orchid.

Sadly, it’s never happened.
:: sniff::

snowberry's avatar

@cookieman Here ya go. It’s the best I can do under the circumstances. They are truly unusual, aren’t they?

sinscriven's avatar

Bake cookies.

It’s an investment of time, and investment of love, and the act of feeding someone and sustaining their health and happiness is a far more powerful expression of love than flowers could ever make.

cookieman's avatar

@snowberry: Ooh, thank you. Those are lovely.

@sinscriven: I was hoping for flowers in addition to cookies. ;^)

LuckyGuy's avatar

I do not like cut flowers. This will sound crazy but…It seems cruel. Why kill that beautiful flower. If it is alive and planted I’d keep it. But cut flowers just die and wither in a few days. I don’t like it.
They remind me of a smile about ½ second after it ends.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I appreciate the thought but I’m not enthralled by flowers and I’m a woman.

What about if she made some of his favourite foods (portable foods) and organised to pick him up from work and take him somewhere as a surprise. Maybe a picnic in a secluded place, especially a place that means something to them. Or a hotel room and have a meal organised to be delivered later in the evening. Just the two of them, in a secluded place (inside or out), for time alone.

Would that work better guys?

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ve got some flower porm for the men here.

pleiades's avatar

A little background about me. I was voted most athletic by my peers in 6th grade and thus voted most athletic of all elementary that year. I loved collecting insects in the 4th grade. I’d help butterflies hatch from caterpillars. I also collected black widows and brown widows in beef jerky bottles. I played a ton of video games/arcade at the liquor store. The ritual was, buy soda pop, pop in some quarters in the machine, and beat my last score. I was beating teenagers as an 8 year old. In middle school, I was shy. I hung out with the lower to mid tier popular kids. Eventually I started, “dating” a girl from the upper tier popular group. We split up I didn’t want to get back. I maintained my athleticism, but I fell deep in love with music at this time. I “dated” a lot of girls in middle school. “Dating” then was purely holding hands, chatting on AIM after school and maybe catching a couple movies. That was it. High school I transitioned from the fastest runner in middle school out of 2000 students to the football field. It was a crazy time, I was joining football with the local high school while some of my really good friends were taking the bus to “better” (richer) neighborhoods. My immediate group of friends who were a bunch of basketball players had no aspirations of being on a high school official team. For them it was all about the rec center. I have no doubt in my mind that if that single group of friends of mine had joined the high school sports scene, we would be mentioned through out all of Division 1 not a single doubt. Remember our middle school held up to 2000 kids, a ton of that talent went elsewhere while I decided to stay in our town and actually participate. I joined journalism in the 10th grade and was also in football. It was weird showing up to class with a jersey top on (we had to wear those all day since 6th period was football) Football was a lot of working out. I feel like the coaches should’ve just focused more on tackling techniques and the actual plays. Anyways, my best friends never attended my practices after school to wait for me to walk home and I got really depressed. They would go home and play video games. And guess what? After a couple games in, I quit to play video games with my best friends after school. It was liberating. I went from being greeted by all the cheerleaders to just straight up late night gaming on the weekends with my best friend. Eventually I joined Tennis that was more manageable and a couple friends joined with me. I tried to join guitar class but they didn’t have enough students, so they ended up recruiting us for orchestra, and yeah, we stayed. I ended up becoming a musician. My love for journalism grew. I loved debate time in class because destroying someone with facts and sources was satisfying at the time. Maybe especially since I grew up in a household where my moms boyfriend (the dad of my sisters) was very psychologically abusive and controlling. Senior year my counselor told me I would be 1 unit shy and would have to make up for it in the summertime and I may not walk. I hated that so much. I was so devastated. My only problem was never turning in homework in highschool. And I never turned in homework because I hated arguing with my mom to buy some ink for the printer. (I did do it for a while but it got old fast) Eventually I dropped out and went to charter schooling where all my subjects were taught by one teacher. It was awesome. I did miss my other teachers at high school a lot too though. Anyways I was in out of college since I was putting myself through it and had zero direction from any of my family members or peers I guess you can say I was lucky for even discovering how it works. I eventually figured it all out and am 3 math courses and 1 art course away from transferring from a junior college to a university. But guess what? I chose to keep working during a time where my car was having trouble pass smog. And that fucking restaurant closed 4 months later. I’ve had plenty of great times in my life, I just wanted to point out those for some reason so you can get a sense of who I’ve been through. Just a sense not trying to define myself.

To answer the OP, yes I love being given flowers, yet I have never been given flowers. My wife has come with me to buy orchids if that counts? But I would love bouquets as gifts.

I love football, basketball, tennis and baseball. I’m hard into the underground New York/California music scene and there’s not a single dish I would never try in my life. I guess I’m answering so lengthy to you because I don’t believe there’s anyone mold that fits your answer. I do believe however there are ton of males who were taught that it’s unmanly to like flowers. But then again I firmly believe in grace and respect as a form of dominance as opposed to bulking up in the gym and belching the loudest in bars. (Not saying anyone else here believes that just free flowing my thoughts right now after a long day at work)

ibstubro's avatar

Yeah, I would appreciate flowers, especially if they bought an $8 arrangement at Walmart and re-cut them to fit a vase they owned.

The great thing about flowers as a gift is that they wilt and you can throw them away. Unlike that paisley tie, argyle sweater and neon shirt.

I think the husband is a lucky guy…that he’ll enjoy the admiration of the females in the office and bask in the ribbing of the males.

The males that never received gifts from their wives at work.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Flowers would not do much for me. I can’t find any practicality in them. Depending on how they were delivered it means finding a vase to try to keep them fresh a little longer, they would take up space I may need, and then they would start to shed leaves/pedals over the area where they are. I would be more in tune to get a balloon and chocolate, even if it were not the chocolates I liked. The balloon would last at least two weeks and the chocolate I can share if I did not like them, has more usability and practicality to me.

Here2_4's avatar

Nice bouquet, jonsblond! They are all beautiful, and we don’t have to throw any out.
Well, I think there are plenty of reasons here for my friend to reconsider. Very good points have been brought out.
Pleiades, you seem apologetic. So far as I can tell, this page can’t run out of room! It is okay to be a man, and love flowers. It is more than okay. I think it is wonderful! I think my friend is just wishing her husband were that sort of guy though. I’m sure she knows more about him than I do, but I think she should go a different way.
I’m very pleased by the turnout. I was not sure how forthcoming the men here would feel about the subject.

2davidc8's avatar

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like flowers in their natural environment. I even grow some myself—in the garden. But I think that spending $50 on a bunch of roses that will wilt and die within a week is a total waste of money.

cookieman's avatar

@snowberry: Will they do? Sister, that’s all I do!
om nom nom

downtide's avatar

No flowers for me. A bouquet of flowers delivered to the house costs about £40. For that, we can go to a restaurant together and have a nice meal – far better use of £40 for an anniversary.

chinchin31's avatar

yes it is weird..

I don’t know any man that likes flowers… unless he is a botanist.

I am a woman and I hate flowers. I never understood the point of it. Never thought of it as romantic. Never found the smell particularly appealing. I would actually get angry if my boyfriend bought me flowers.

The only flowers I ever liked was my wedding bouquet. Even that I gave it away immediately after the wedding to my mother in law.

Here2_4's avatar

I think we have her convinced to go with a potted plant. She is shopping choices.
@gorillapaws – my friend laughed about the lingerie, and made it clear that won’t happen. She is pretty shy about being seen.

rojo's avatar

I think that while many men can appreciate the beauty of flowers and should definitely appreciate the thought, most would prefer something a little more practical as a gift; like some kind of tool or flashlight.

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