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SavoirFaire's avatar

Parents: what do you most want for your children (see details)?

Asked by SavoirFaire (28887points) December 16th, 2014

A lot parents have various aspirations for their children (doctor, lawyer, athlete, musician). And of course, we generally want them to be smart, safe, and healthy. But underneath it all, what do you most want for your child? If you could ensure one thing on their behalf, what would it be?

Non-parents: please feel free to say what you think you would want for your children if you had any.

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25 Answers

ucme's avatar

To live a full life & be the best that they can be, no regrets, positive all the way.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Good health both physical and mental. Direction in life, humility and simplicity and a bit of luck now and again would not harm.

janbb's avatar

Contentment with who they are and a loving relationship with a partner.

talljasperman's avatar

My parents just wanted me to pass high school without getting anyone pregnant. I accomplished it. I don’t have any meaningful goals other than to look after myself and my apartment.

Cupcake's avatar

Promoter of justice.
Passionate (hopefully related to their career).

Some level of self-insight and self-betterment.

hominid's avatar


LuckyGuy's avatar

Grandchildren. It’s why most of us have kids. :-)

flutherother's avatar

I want them to enjoy life.

seekingwolf's avatar

@LuckGuy Are most parents expecting grandchildren from their children?

I am infertile as well as childfree, and it seems that my parents have long accepted that they won’t get grandkids (my siblings have developmental disorders), it seems that most parents expect grandkids out of their kids and would be really, really disappointed if that didn’t happen.

My mom has the rare nostalgic moment of “Oh I wish you would have kids” and I just sort of stare at her and then remind her of my health problems to shush her up.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

I want them to have appreciation for where they live and what they have.

longgone's avatar

I would want my children and want all children close to me to find a healthy balance between being true to themselves and being there for others. I think the world puts a great deal of focus on the latter. As children, most of us can honestly say what we like and dislike. At some point, we typically lose that ability and start having a hard time saying “no” and setting boundaries.

I also want all children to grow up free of violence. I’d like them to never experience fear of adults.

I am very disappointed with the education system. I’d want my children to not lose their curiosity and be able to pursue only what they’re interested in. I don’t want them forced to study biology, if they’d like to be artists. We can’t know everything, and in my opinion, the curriculum is pretty arbitrary. I’d love a little more creativity and room for differences here.

Another thing I consider important is for my kids to know they are liked as well as loved. I used to ask my parents whether they’d like me if I wasn’t their daughter – I think being well-liked, appreciated and enjoyed gives a huge boost to children’s self-esteem.

Lastly, I would want my children to have a healthy sense of humour, because life is easier when you can see the fun in living.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

That they have a happy and fulfilling life, whatever that might be for them. My children are grown up and none of them are doing jobs I’d choose for them, but they’re happy. I sometimes still worry that they’re not striving for more from life at times, but I know that’s about my expectations and my own life experience rather than what’s right for them.

LornaLove's avatar

To be happy and perhaps gain some wisdom along the way. To live life and not waste it.

kritiper's avatar

To not have any children. OOPS! Sorry. I don’t have any children!

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Already there, by not having them,thus keeping them out of this extremely fucked up planet.
Where human greed and cruelty seem to rule.

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JLeslie's avatar

If I had children I would want them to be good people. To care about others and understand relationships not only among family members, but also friends and greater society. I think the world becomes a better place when we all care about each other, and I would want a happy and peaceful world for my kids to live in.

I would want my kids to not be paralyzed by fear, especially fear of failure. I would want them to explore their interests and ideas.

I would hope they can be in the moment, especially the moments of happiness.

I would want them to be self supporting (assuming they are healthy mentally and physically). There might be variations of the definition of self supporting during a marriage. I only mention this because in our society financial freedom gives autonomy and personal liberty.

susanc's avatar

I want them to be willing to struggle and able to relax.

Pandora's avatar

My only aspirations for them when they were growing up as far as work was that they find something they had a passion for and could do it. When you have passion for your job, it doesn’t feel like a job so much. All through there lives I wished that they would be happy and healthy and intelligent and be good people that I could be proud of their morals.

I always felt I could help them in some way to achieve some of those things by being a good role model and help them with their studies and teach them about Gods love.

But the one thing I could never assure them is having someone who would love them and care for them and be a good partner to them well beyond my time here on earth. Someone who would love them as much as I do and be there to comfort them when they are sick or dying. So if I could assure them one thing. I would assure them that.

Pandora's avatar

I meant ensure, not assure. Sorry it was too late to edit it

jca's avatar

I hope my daughter lives in a world with access to clean air and water, and plentiful healthy food. A world where the area she lives in is free from strife and conflict.

I hope she is happy, and if she is in a relationship, that it’s a healthy one. I hope she is physically and mentally healthy, too. I hope she chooses a profession that she enjoys doing and that pays her fair wages and benefits.

augustlan's avatar

To be compassionate, critical thinkers who are comfortable in their own skins and content with the lives they fashion for themselves. Above all, I want them to love and be loved.

My girls, who each joined Fluther at age 13, are now 17, 19 and 20 years old…so far, so good!

the100thmonkey's avatar

Apart from the obvious stuff?

I want them to feel accepted and valued by their societies. I don’t think this will be a problem in the UK, but they’re half Japanese, and culturally, Japan doesn’t really “get” diversity. It’s almost inimical to important aspects of the culture.

Sinqer's avatar

Freedom, understanding, and self sufficiency.

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