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stanleybmanly's avatar

Can we hear the "nightmare" Christmas tree stories? Misery loves company.

Asked by stanleybmanly (22379points) December 10th, 2016 from iPhone

The wife has been flirting with the idea of an artificial tree for years. Well this year she actually researched them dillegently, picked a company rated “best” for quality and “realism” of product and with a girlfriend drove down to Burlingame for on the spot reconnaissance. The girlfriend picked a small one ($350) for herself, and they came back bubbling. Now the thing I want to state at the outset is that once the wife is committed to a project, she is indomitable. I know the signs, and once the research, footwork and reconnoiter are in place, her position is rock hard and unassailable. A fake tree was in our immediate future, end of story. Bright and early the next morning (Sunday) we were off to achieve the ceremonial necessity of my inspection and approval of her choice. And I can tell you, brothers and sisters, that the fake tree was indeed beautiful. Yet standing there awed by its magnificence, my miserly inclinations gnawed agonizingly “there is nothing you could do to this thing that would render it worthy of the $800 sticker price”. In fairness, the wife herself was brutally aware of the extravagance involved with the price of a thing made in China probably at a cost of less than 20 bucks. But she (we) were now committed and it was “game on”. The debit card came out, and it was back home to await the shipment of our wonder from Colorado, since the floor model was the only one in stock and lacked the “deluxe” lighting setup. The thing arrived 8 days later in 2 awkward 4.5 foot boxes that gave the FedEx guy a 2 trip to the door exercise and the curiosity to ask as to their contents. When I replied ”$800 Christmas tree” the man already heading back to his truck, stopped mid stride, pivoted, then examined me quizzically while uttering “those are big boxes but there ain’t nothin solid gold in em”. And that was the last pleasant occurrence involving the tree prior to “THE TROUBLES”!

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17 Answers

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I miss planting our christmas trees in the yard like my family did when we were done with them. It was worth paying more for the plantable ones.
We have fake ones now but not $800. More like $15 second hand. People practically throw them out once the lights stop working. It’s usually less than 5 min to repair.

Now…while most of our outdoor decor is second hand too when my wife likes something that’s kind of the end of the conversation. We have a couple hundred bucks in new lights and inflatables.

Lightlyseared's avatar

Our next door neighbor had a psychotic break on Christmas Day evening, stabbed his son, and then turned up at our house with the bloody knife and a very bad attitude. It was Boxing Day before the police left.

imrainmaker's avatar

My sympathy for you.. nothing you / anyone can do about it…!!!

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Reminds me, we had a neighbor who on christmas morning lit their fireplace for the first time and the chimney caught fire and burned their house down. They had been in the house only a few months. Get your chimneys inspected!! Cast an evil eye to any that are prefab!

Berserker's avatar

We had a cat when I was little, and like a day ot two before Christmas the cat knocked down the tree. My mom made the tree amd she got pissed off, and she was also really drunk, as she always was. This was like at 3 in the morning and I was in bed, and from her room my mom started yelling at me like, see what your fuckin cat did, ruined my tree, I’m not picking that shit up blaaargh lol. It sucked.

marinelife's avatar

Well, one time my sister wanted to go to the forest and pick out her own tree and cut it down. The tree came in the house where the temperature was much warmer, and the nest of baby spiders, hundreds of them, woke up and descended on the household. Last time for that exercise. My sister, like me, is an arachnaphobe.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Where I come from originally, real Christmas trees look like this and I love the smell, feel and just the look of a real Christmas tree. In Australia, real Christmas trees look like this (and this is a good example!). My then husband went out to buy the tree for our first Christmas after we arrived and I was devastated when I saw it. I was already feeling very homesick, and the tree just did not fit my mental image of a Christmas tree. I ended up in tears. So he went and bought a second tree and tried tying them together to achieve the required “real Christmas tree” look. More tears. In the end (and I have no idea where it came from), he came home with a tree that at least had the right shape. It wasn’t a fir tree. I don’t know what it was, but we dressed it and the next year bought a fake tree. I don’t think he could handle the stress of another year trying to meet my Christmas tree needs.

I still get incredibly homesick at Christmas. We’ve already had a few tears. My Australian husband and children don’t get it. It just isn’t the same. I’ll put on a happy face, but nothing feels like Christmas to me. And Australian Christmas trees just are not Christmas trees. I showed my husband the picture of the Aussie tree and he said “that’s a ripper!” Bah!

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Yes @Berserker, that’s what we need! Can you send me one? Bring it yourself and you can help us dress it.

stanleybmanly's avatar

@Earthbound Misfit That photo of the Australian tree is enough to move ME to tears. It never occurred to me, but it must be REALLY tough to grow a proper fir tree in any Australian climate

Berserker's avatar

@Earthbound_Misfit Lol sure, let me get my shoes.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

@stanleybmanly, now these are Christmas trees!

imrainmaker's avatar

^^ I didn’t know someone can can actually cry looking at size of Xmas tree..)

imrainmaker's avatar

I mean it’s a tree after all.. you being homesick was the actual reason for your outburst i guess…not how it looked / was presented.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

A tree is symbolic of everything that wasn’t familiar. Have you never been homesick? The smallest things can become large when everything you’re familiar with is missing. Your family, traditions, the weather. This was less than 12 months after I’d left my birthplace and all my family. The tree was an important aspect of our Christmas celebrations and it typified everything that was strange, different and all the things I missed.

imrainmaker's avatar

Yeah.. like you said it symbolized you being away from family and made you cry. Have been homesick when away for college..don’t remember crying due do it though..(not implying that I never cry..).

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