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Dutchess_III's avatar

Who wants to play "Explain your favorite film horribly"?

Asked by Dutchess_III (35071points) January 11th, 2017

It doesn’t have to be your favorite film, because if you stuck to your favorite film you’d only get to post once.
Everybody gets to guess at the name of the movie.

I’ll start:

So, like, there was this white guy and he got hit by a train and died. And then his fiance married another guy. And then this tiny little black lady killed that guy. And then this giant, big black guy barbecued him. And then this skinny, white police guy, who was looking for the guy, ate the barbecue, but he didn’t know what it was. And then they found the dead guy’s car. And then they put this cute white girl on trial. And then the preacher guy lied, becasue he had his hand on a copy of Moby Dick, and not the Bible, and she got off scott free, which is good because she didn’t do it. Also, honey. TOWANDA!!!

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63 Answers

Sneki95's avatar

A bunch of teenage bikers in dystopian Tokyo scream each other’s names. There is also some ugly fetus and ancient midgets.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Haha love that one. Akira!!

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Three gunslingers duke it out during the civil war over a grave filled with gold.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Is that that horrid movie with Denzel and Kurt Russell in it?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

And you meant samuel

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. I did.

ragingloli's avatar

High school pupil gets turned into a little kid and solves crimes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Little kid turns into grownup, freaks out, gets laid.

ragingloli's avatar

5 year old boy fights against an alien wrestler, gets his neck broken.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thank you! I can’t even figure out the ones they’re talking about! I must watch all the wrong movies.

ragingloli's avatar

young boy sets out on an adventure to find his father, befriends an assassin, and fights a perverted killer clown.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I am definitely watching the wrong movies.

ragingloli's avatar

Boy dies from shock, gets sent to a fantasy world to defeat the devil king, and befriends a useless water godess, a sorceress that knows only one spell, and a female knight who constantly tries to get ravaged by monsters.

Sneki95's avatar

@ragingloli Either you’re really good at this, or I have no clue about movies. Probably both.

A girl in WWII Spain finds a labyrinth and has to run away from a dude with dislocated eyes so she could be a princess.

ragingloli's avatar

well, technically, they are tv series

flutherother's avatar

@Sneki95 Great film! I could watch it again.

filmfann's avatar

@Are_you_kidding_me The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

filmfann's avatar

These two runaway kids find a police car parked in the middle of nowhere, so they drive it off, and play with the guns and bullet proof vest inside. Meanwhile, the policeman who drives that car, is getting rid of bodies and drugs, and trying to find his car, but the body in the trunk isn’t dead, and he fools the kids, and tells them he will kill their grandmother and hamster.

Coloma's avatar

^ No clue.

@Dutchess_III Fried Green Tomatoes! Love that movie too.

2 guys traveling get stuck with each other, end up sleeping together in a motel room, one wipes his face with the other ones underwear, they blow up a rental car, catch a ride in the back of a truck driven by a Kansas hog farmer and in the end become friends. Only one of many favorites.

Mimishu1995's avatar

No clue. Not that much versed in American movies.
This one is pretty easy
A man loses his rebelious son over some giant kidnappers. While prantically searching for him, he bumps over a rather mentally disabled woman who causes him plenty of troubles. The woman turns out to be pretty useful in a unique way.

anniereborn's avatar

@Dutchess_III Wow, I need to watch that movie again. I love that movie and barely recalled any of that. I just remember the relationship between the two women back in the day.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Ohhhhhhh kay, horribly explained…
A boy is sad because he wants to be in a club and then he is sad because he got hurt and then he is sad because he can’t have babies and then he is sad because his wife died. Then he gets mad because of the noisy guys ond he takes a long trip with a little boy he doesn’t even know and it sucks that he is old now and a rock looks like a dog but is a dog and now everyone can be happy except they are kidnapped and assaulted.
I don’t know how they get home but that makes everything okay even though he is homeless.

Seek's avatar

@Mimishu1995 – Finding Nemo!

Sneki95's avatar

A married couple with a small kid (that no one knows is psychic) get stuck in a hotel during winter. The dad gets a bit agitated after a while….

Seek's avatar

@Sneki95 – The Shining!

Seek's avatar

So there’s a chick who has cancer and her hubby is trying to find the cure for it and he’s killing like a bazillion chimps to do it but he’s also a time travelling Spanish conquistador and also floating toward the sun on a giant magic tree and it’s super sad.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^ I know that one! Hang on!

Medicine Man with Sean Connery?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Nope, it’s the fountain.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So, dude runs his car, 88 miles an hour, straight at the movie theater but never hits it.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Too easy, back to the future

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh, you want hard? OK, so, dudes run out of church and get shot all to hell.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Magnificent seven

ragingloli's avatar

kill bill?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

They were shot in the church on kill bill

ragingloli's avatar

house cat moves into a new town and solves a string of cat murders. his blind girlfriend gets decapitated.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Nope @ARE_you_kidding_me. Nope @ragingloli.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Man goes to town to sovle crime but is ambushed by an insane woman. She turns out more dangerous than annoying.

Sneki95's avatar

A dumb bitch with a hoarding issue dumps her family and goes through several mutilations in order to be with some dude she just met. She gets the dude because happy endings and shit.

@ragingloli Felidae?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 50 Shades of Grey? Or Twillight?

Sneki95's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Neither, try again.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 how about The Little Mermaid?
Meanwhile try to guess my movie above.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Nobody is trying to guess my movie. Is it too hard, or too easy?

Seek's avatar

@Patty_Melt – yeah, I’ve got nothing on that.

ragingloli's avatar

@Sneki95 yes.
Now guess my others.

Sneki95's avatar

@ragingloli The very first one, about highschooler becoming a kid, is detective Conan. The second one may be Dragon Ball, but I’m not sure. Still figuring out the rest.

ragingloli's avatar

@Sneki95
Correct on both counts so far.

Mimishu1995's avatar

A story that supposed to be about animals doing mundane shit abruptedly turns into a runaway mayhem full of stupid humans who can do jack shit and a psychopath constantly screaming revenge for idiotic reasons.

Patty_Melt's avatar

^ @Mimishu1995 it is supposed
to be a movie not 2016 U.S. election.

Seek's avatar

ba-dum, tssss!

ragingloli's avatar

Big nosed pleb builds a time travelling car with a WW2 bomber engine, to save his pet piglet from being eaten by a Bentley driving aristocrat.

Sneki95's avatar

@Mimishu1995 101 Dalmatians?

Also, @ragingloli, is your entry about a boy finding his father the Hunter X Hunter? That’s basically the only “technically, a tv series” with a boy, a missing dad, and an assassin, so I go with that one.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 no. Hint: this one is very recent.

Sneki95's avatar

@Mimishu1995Zootopia I’ve no clue.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 Not even close :D
...
Tired yet? It’s The Secret Life of Pets and it just sucks. Trust me, I gave an accurate description of how the movie progresses.

Next movie: a boy apparently having some kind of social anxiety depends on a machine to solve every life problem he bumps into.

Sneki95's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Your average Millenial?

A couple can’t have children. They find a wooden log, and the mans carves it to look like a baby. It comes to life.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 not sure what you mean but whatever it is, that’s not it. Hint: it falls right into your specialty.

I’m thinking of Pinocchio, but I don’t remeber seeing any couple.

Sneki95's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Neon Genesis Evangelion?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Sneki95 No.

One more try. Hint: it is so famous its influence goes beyong art.

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