General Question

Shirley29's avatar

Is it ok to do something in a wrong way but for a good reason for a person's happiness?

Asked by Shirley29 (118points) February 24th, 2017

Is it ok to do something unethical without harming other people but in some way harming ourselves to do something good that provides happiness to myself in future.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

Darth_Algar's avatar

If you’re doing something you don’t want to in order to please something else and trying to justify it with the thought that you’ll be happy in the long term then you’re probably going to be severely disappointed.

I did not comment before, but I did read your previous threads about this. You’re trying to make it okay by reasoning “I want the babies”, but you’re clearly uncomfortable with being used to fulfill your husband’s cuckold fantasy. You’re uncomfortable – that should be all the answer you need. Do not allow yourself to be coerced into something you don’t want to do. Do not try to spin away your discomfort by telling yourself that everything will be all peachy and happy in the end. It won’t.

Mimishu1995's avatar

“Unethical” already means harming someone in some way. There is no “unethical” thing that doesn’t harm other people. It’s just that you fail to see who takes the harm from your doing.

And I thought that you were done with us and were happy with your husband and your relative.

Shirley29's avatar

Yes I am happy but I just wanted to did I really do something so bad that it would be termed as crime. Did I something that big. I think no? But it definitely didn’t harm anyone. and I am comfortable now .

gorillapaws's avatar

Flip it around.

Let’s say you were 18-years-old again and lived in a culture where the father of a baby always got custody of the child. Also, suppose that you had an aunt who was unable to conceive and she orchestrated a plot to have her husband seduce/impregnate you and then take the baby from you once it was born. It might bring great joy to your aunt, but wouldn’t you feel sad/used/betrayed?

janbb's avatar

That train has already left the station, @Shirley29 . You did somethin worng – if your story is true – now live with it.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Boiled down, you are asking “do the ends justify the means?”


rojo's avatar

This kind of thing always ends badly.

jca's avatar

I feel like by asking this question, you are looking to continue the endless discussion that has gone on over the past few days about your sleeping with your husband’s nephew.

Coloma's avatar

@Shirley29 This is just a new twist on the same theme you have been carrying on about the past few days. Once again you are asking if it is okay to lie, deceive and trick an unsuspecting man into getting you pregnant because it would bring YOU happiness. The answer is no, a thousand times no, and this cat has been skinned many times over now. Do whatever the hell you are going to do because it is obvious you are not interested in anyones advice here, only in continuing to attempt to get permission and validation that your dishonorable scheme is okay to pursue.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I know this question is in general and this response will be modded, but we need to stop responding to her. We have talked to her about the same matter over and over again and look what happened actually nothing happened at all. She just carried on with the cuckold thing like she hasn’t asked anything at all. With no more attention she will have no more audience. This madness can stop then.

Kardamom's avatar

Not in this case. If you are having sex with your husband’s cousin to get pregnant, in the way in which you have described to us in great detail, you are clearly doing something unethical.

Your husband is into kinky sex, which makes you (and some of us) very uncomfortable. Kinky sex may not be illegal, but if you are not equally interested in kinky sex, then you are ultimately going to feel ill used by participating in it.

Getting pregnant by your husband’s cousin on purpose is a terrible idea. The cousin, if he is the father of the child, should have all the rights and responsibilities due to a father. If you keep the information of your current or future pregnancy from him, you are being unethical and fraudulent towards this young man.

Your child, should you have one, is being put in a terrible situation. He or she will either not know his true identity, or he will be very confused by having 2 fathers, and when he finds out that his 2 fathers were happily engaging in kinky wife swapping sex, he or she will most likely feel embarrassed or even ashamed.

Divorce your husband.

Get away from this family.

Seek psychiatric help.

Darth_Algar's avatar

I’m wondering if the thread starter comes from a culture where absolute subservience to one’s husband is expected of the woman.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think she’s full of crap.

si3tech's avatar

@Shirley29 What you did was wrong. There is no right reason to do something wrong. It was conning, blatantly manipulative and utterly disingenuous to all involved. You, your husband and the teenager.

imrainmaker's avatar

What do you guys think who’s at greater fault here.. Husband who uses his wife to fulfill his fantasy or wife who gives consent to be used for such unethical behaviour?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Both are disgusting. I don’t know know that one is worse than the other.

imrainmaker's avatar

Feel bad for the poor kid though who has fallen for it unless he has any traits like his uncle.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

I would be more sympathetic if you said you had no choice and you did it for the reason of money. You’re doing this for nothing so I don’t see any redeemable merit that can save you from this situation.

Shirley29's avatar

Well I am more comfortable now in this situation. But I still don’t know when should I tell him or should I really tell him. I thinking pf telling it after I get to know am I really pregnant or no? But guys I am really happy now.

janbb's avatar

And we are all delighted for you.

jca's avatar

Can we move on now?

Kardamom's avatar

@Shirley29 Please stop. This joke has gone too far.

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