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Sunshinegirl11's avatar

Is giving away stuff you don't use rude?

Asked by Sunshinegirl11 (1107points) April 29th, 2017 from iPhone

I have this really cool flower lamp that I’ve had since I was a little girl. I never use it, but I remember when I was little I wanted it for the longest time. I was cleaning out my room today when I thought I’d offer it to the 3 year old that I babysit. I thought maybe she would think it’s cool. So I texted her mom and offered it. I told my mom about offering it and she kind of scolded me saying “they don’t want your junk!” Now I feel kind of guilty for even offering it to that 3 year old. Her mother hasn’t texted back so maybe she’s offended that I’d offer her my “junk”. I had no intentions of being rude, I just remembered how cool I thought it was when I was little, so I thought I’d offer before I threw it out.

What are your opinions on people offering you stuff they don’t use?

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14 Answers

SergeantQueen's avatar

That is not rude. That is very sweet. I have no idea what your mother is talking about. As long as it’s in fairly good condition, it’s okay to give to someone else. Makes it more meaningful that you had it since a little girl and that it was something you really enjoyed. The other girls’ mother is probably busy. She’ll answer back.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Silliest thing you’ll ever hear. Photograph the 3 year olds face when you give her the lamp. Then show the photo to your mom.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

No it’s not rude. It’s sensible. You don’t need it, someone else might. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. We have whole shops devoted to selling secondhand goods. Look at ebay or other similar online auction sites.

I think you were being thoughtful and if the girl’s mother doesn’t feel she wants it, she can always say no. I think it’s sweet you thought of her.

janbb's avatar

I think it’s lovely to think of something someone else might enjoy and offer it to them.

Coloma's avatar

I think the little 3 year old would love it! Your mom sounds like a Grinch. haha
One mans trash ( unwanted items ) are another mans treasure. Hell, I’m 57, I might even like your flower lamp. lol
Give the little girl your flower lam and take a picture of her smiling face to show your mom.

imrainmaker's avatar

It’s really thoughtful of you to offer it to the little girl. I’m sure she’ll love it but not sure about her mother. It will vary from person to person and their throught process. It would be better if you tell it to her face to face rather than texting to see how she reacts and decide based on that.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Your mom was maybe in a bad mood at the time?
The offer is kind. If the girl’s mom says no, she may be worried her daughter would be careless with it.
Whatever happens, your offer was not the wrong thing to do.
Just remember, when offering anything to a small child, from candy to furniture, always ask the parent first, so if they say no, there won’t be tears.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

It will have to depend on what stuff is given. I don’t think you’ll set a bad example by giving away your lamp, if it’s in good shape then most people will be glad to get some free stuff. As for myself, I… well, have a personal standard to not wanting hand-me-over stuff, even I myself wouldn’t think about giving other people used stuff as gifts, and it’s also considered inappropriate in my culture to give used stuff to other people that aren’t your own family. Different people have different mindset.

JLeslie's avatar

I think it’s very nice.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I don’t mean anything, but here’s the catch: there are people who are so practical that gift that they can’t use is considered “useless”. I learned it the hard way when my parents found out about a gift of mine. It was a bottle with my drawing on it and a paper with wishes inside. It was a cute gift, but apart from being cute and a good reminder for that someone of me, it could hard serve you anything. And my parents’ reaction was exactly the same as your mom, except that they also explained to me that the gift could serve nothing and only wasted valuable desk space.

That said, I think your gift is a really meaningful one. You were willing to give someone something that you valued and that’s all what matters. Would you be happy if someone gave you a brand new, very practical gift but they didn’t have you in mind and they were actually just giving you the gift just for the sake of giving away, or because they were just trying not to make you upset?

One thing though: did you mention that you hadn’t use the lamp for a long time? Some people may get the wrong impression if they know the gift being offered is something someone doesn’t need.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

It’s called re-use, or recycling. To give something away to another person who can enjoy using it instead of dumping it into a landfill is being generous and responsible. What is more wonderous than putting a smile on a three year-old’s face at no cost to you? It makes them happy and you happy. Perfect human symbiosis.

Your mother is as wrong as wrong can be. Here’s why:

There is a much larger issue at stake here.

Americans represent 5% of the world’s population, but generate 30% of the world’s
garbage. Less than 2% of this waste stream is recycled. This is extremely irresponsible behaviour.

Here’s a pdf that explains this further

No need to tell your mother how wrong she is. There is no benefit to establishing an adversarial relationship with a person who lives under the same roof with you. Just quietly do what you decide is best.

jca's avatar

I think it’s very kind of you to think of giving the item to the little girl.

Stores like Goodwill and thrift shops are popular because something you may not need or want or appreciate any longer will be needed and wanted and appreciated by someone else.

My cat died two weeks ago and so I took the day off and took a ride over the hills and through the woods to a Goodwill in an affluent area of CT. I don’t normally go to Goodwill but I heard about this one and wanted to take a look. I bought a few items and one of them was a decoupage plate (decoupage behind glass). I do decoupage so I appreciate the labor and thought that went into this item. I paid 3 dollars for it. In cleaning it, I noticed that it has a signature and a name on the back, Carol Kaas Glassworks. I just googled it and see this item was 62 dollars and I paid 3 for it. I’m very happy that someone thought it was worthy of a thrift shop.

jca's avatar

One man’‘s trash was my treasure: http://www.kaas.com/collection/popup.php?id=72

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