Social Question

Kardamom's avatar

How many people have you un-friended (or been un-friended by) this year?

Asked by Kardamom (29639points) November 22nd, 2017

With Donald Trump in the White House, multiple mass shootings, and Judge Roy Moore being considered for the Senate, there have been plenty of things to disagree about, with friends, relatives, and people that we barely even know.

I guess I should consider myself lucky. I’ve only been un-friended by one person (that I know of) and that was a relative who has been very volatile and hostile for a good long while. She got angry at me when I responded to another relative’s post about how many mass shootings there have been this year. I said that there have been a lot of mass shootings and I explained why I thought that was happening. My relative went ballistic, said some awful things about me, and then promptly un-friended me. It was actually kind of a relief.

I had to un-friend a person who I’ve known for almost 25 years. In most subjects, we actually agree, but she has a terrible, condescending way of “speaking” to people. She has a high falutin’ degree, and has always made it sure that everyone knows what her “position” is. That has always bothered me. But now, now that she’s retired, and on Facebook, she is very preachy, and downright rude. A few weeks back, she said something really mean to me, and I just decided that that was the day that I needed to cut her loose.

Ironically, she then messaged me demanding to know why I un-friended her. I thought it was pretty obvious, so I didn’t respond. The whole point of un-friending her was so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her any more. She doesn’t live in my same city, so there is really no chance of my ever running into her. She’s got plenty of friends, including several of my mutual friends. She doesn’t need me, so I’m not really sure why she would even care, since she clearly didn’t have much of a good opinion of me anyway.

Some of you already know that I had to un-friend the ex-husband of one of my cousins. I was only FB “friends” with him, because he is also the father and grandfather of my cousin’s grown kids, and her grandkids, so he is somewhat involved in their lives and posts pictures and stuff, but other than that, I hardly know him. One night he decided to “talk dirty” to me and kept it up after I told him to knock it off. By the way, he married to very nice lady who has no idea about any of this.

That brings my total to 3, so I guess that’s not so bad. What about you guys? How many people have you had to un-friend, or been un-friended by? Are you OK with these un-friendings?

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12 Answers

Zaku's avatar

Does Facebook let a person know when they’ve been un-friended? I’ve seen others talking about un-friending each other or being un-friended, and I had one long-time gaming friend finally friend me on Facebook, only to discover that I like Bernie Sanders while he likes Trump, which led to an exchange of contrasting viewpoints… and then not really talking to each other much, but we’re still FB “friends”.

I have a few other arch-conservative FB friends, too. I also don’t friend some people I don’t like or like personally but can’t stand their politics.

So I don’t think (or don’t know if) I’ve been directly involved in un-friending. But I also wouldn’t think much of it if I had.

NomoreY_A's avatar

I dont mess with Facebook. No time for that Jr. High nonsense.

Kardamom's avatar

@NomoreY_A Most of what I post, and look at, are pictures of my family who don’t live nearby. Occasionally I post recipes, because most of my “friends” are interested in cooking. I also post news subjects that are of interest to me and my family, things that affect us directly. I have some friends and relatives that have some very serious medical conditions, so we discuss new treatments for these things. I know all of my “friends” personally. I Hope you don’t consider these things Jr. High nonsense.

@Zaku, I don’t think FB alerts you when you are un-friended. The woman who I deleted probably tried to say something else to me, and then she noticed that I was no longer in her list of availability.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I was only unfriended once. It was after a breakup. I don’t regret it.

But then again I don’t care who unfriends me at all. Many people who are on my friendlist aren’t my friends in the firsf place. They are just there because we went to school together or work together, or because befriending on Facebook is needed for some short-timed purposes. I only interact with the people I truly care for.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t think I have unfriended anyone this past year. If I did it was maybe one person and I don’t remember. I have hidden a couple of people from my feed so I don’t see their posts.

How many have unfriended me? I know for sure one, but recently they friended me again. Probably, there are others, but I don’t know for sure. It’s not like you get an email telling you they unfriended you.

NomoreY_A's avatar

@Kardamom – no, obviously the things you mention are legit uses for FB. But there is a lot of Jr. High bs going down with it as well. A good deal of your post concerns some woman harassing you because you unfriended her, and some guy you don’t know trying to hit on you. You can keep FB, I stay in touch with freinds and family via personal calls and texting. To each his own.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I stopped following two people – one person due to constant political BS, the other due to religious BS. I still keep them as friends.

rockfan's avatar

2 or 3 people. They were acquantiences who kept posting about NFL players being traitors to the country and that the NRA should “do something about it.”

LornaLove's avatar

I’ve really limited myself on the internet friends wise. I had spent years prior to this making friends and also having my real life friends on facebook etc., in the old days. I just kind of lost interest in the idea somehow. I’ve pretty much lost the desire to have any friends and I’ve had this feeling for around 7 years now. I know it sounds super odd, but I am depressed and have been for many years. I think for me friendships are something I will have again in the future. This time I’ll be fussier in my choosing! I used to have so many and many I didn’t choose. On facebook I’m useless, I hardly sign in anymore and when I do I get bored in 2 seconds. However, I am happy to see a few other fluther users on my FB when I go there. :)
I know all this friending and unfriending can be hurtful.

Muad_Dib's avatar

Since the election I’ve cleaned out my “friends” list of over 100 people, to bring my number under 300. Most were acquaintances I knew through a shared hobby, and I don’t miss them.

I’m back up to 302, but I’ve met some cool people this year, too.

Mariah's avatar

I’m sure I’ve gotten unfriended plenty this year due to my propensity to post about healthcare law. Since Facebook doesn’t notify you when you get unfriended I’m only aware of one. I haven’t unfriended anyone that I can recall.

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ve unfriended a few and have been unfriended by a few. I recently created a new account for safety reasons and I only have 99 friends, compared to the 300+ I had with my old account. I’d say 80% of my friends are people I know personally. The other 20% are people I have met online and would love to meet in person. Trust is a huge issue for me with this new account. I don’t friend just anyone because we have something in common. I don’t share politics or opinions about current issues. It’s a negative free zone and I’m content.

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