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weeveeship's avatar

Any point in going to my 10 year HS class reunion (see details)?

Asked by weeveeship (4632points) June 15th, 2018

10 year HS reunion is coming up soon. My class had 400 students and had regular and AP (i.e. college) level classes. As can be expected, those classes are separate, and for example, AP students rarely mixed with regular students (who tend to be mostly jocks) and vice versa. Mind you, there is no animosity between the groups – they don’t mix because they don’t have common interests.

I was an AP student. My friends were all AP students. None of them are attending the reunion. All of them are out of state now.

I have seen the guest list for the reunion on FB and most of them were regular students. Most of the regular students’ FB profiles portray them as still being the people I remembered them as, i.e. not sharing interests as me. e.g. They love to drink, I don’t. They love sports (esp. football), I really don’t. I like anime, they don’t. I also like building models out of LEGO, they don’t.

In short, what I’m trying to say is that the “reunion” is not much of a reunion at all but really a meeting with some “acquaintances” (more like strangers) who have interests very different from mine to this day. I don’t really see the point of going to such an event, but want your opinions.

One more thing: The event is held at a beer house that only serves beer (no coke, I checked). I don’t drink (and can’t drink) for medical reasons. The regular students are huge drinkers both then and now (one of the interests that they have that I don’t.). So, I think I will be awfully bored at the reunion.

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22 Answers

stanleybmanly's avatar

You should go anyway, unless of course you have better things to do.

ragingloli's avatar

They probably do not even remember you.
Nor you them.
Except the ones that stuck in your mind negatively.
Imagine all the greetings:
“Hey, uh, you.”
“Hi. Uhm, what was your name again?”
“Wait, I remember you! You shoved my head in a toilet! Here, have a stab wound, you fuck.”
You might just as well go on a reunion party for all the sperm cells that you were friends with on your way to the ovum.

weeveeship's avatar

@ragingloli Yes, they probably do not even remember me. Some of the regular students were bullies and some were rather racist (I am a racial minority), but most of them left me alone.

LOL at the last statement. I did not have any romantic relationships while in HS, so on one hand there won’t be any awkward encounters with exes but on the other hand I also have no old flames to rekindle. Simply put, I want to marry within my own race, but there simply weren’t a lot of viable options at the HS I attended.

zenvelo's avatar

You don’t say if you are near or far to where the reunion will be. If it is close, I would go even if just for 45 minutes. You really don’t know if someone you knew but forgotten about might show.

I missed my 6 yr (nobody thought to put together a 5 yr) reunion, but my tenth was fun, and I was reallyglad to go to my 20th and my 40th. We are having an informal get toegther later this month to celebrate our 45th.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Ugh, why bother. If they were good friends, you’d have kept in touch before now. Seems like a waste of time to me, I never go. Zero interest in polite conversation with strangers.

RocketGuy's avatar

I was in a similar situation. If your old friends won’t be there, you will be lonely in a big party.
Instead, call your old friends and have an alternate reunion.
For me, I did 10th grade in regular classes, so had a few friends in that crowd. I made sure I knew enough people before I decided to go to my various reunions (i’m old).

seawulf575's avatar

I attended my 20 year reunion. I moved into the school district from which I graduated about halfway through the senior year. The graduating class was about 100 people. When they called me, the girl doing all the calls and organizing had to ask if I graduated from that school and then asked who I was. I went anyway. Actually knew a few people, but not from high school…from real life. It was okay. I won’t go to my 40 year reunion…it wasn’t THAT much fun.

Kardamom's avatar

I wouldn’t bother since the people that you actually spent time with, and liked, won’t be there. Also the fact that it’s being held at a bar, and that’s not something that is comfortable for you, I can’t imagine having any fun.

You’d be better off planning a fun event or get together with people currently in your life, the people you chose to be with, rather than random people that were put together (in school) based only upon your proximity to that school.

janbb's avatar

It doesn’t sound like there’s anything in it for you. I wouldn’t go if I were you.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Despite all of the reasons given not to attend, if you go, there is a chance that you may not regret it. Ten years have passed since graduation, and like most of us, you may be pleasantly surprised at how everyone has matured and past cliques disappear. Everyone will want to show that they have grown up since high school. People prefer to talk about their present situation than the past.

If it truly holds no appeal, then embrace the choice. There will most likely be other reunions in case the desire changes.

LuckyGuy's avatar

If it is close, I’d go. I like hearing how things turn out over the years.
You’ll see the jocks with sagging guts. The mean girls weathered by the sun and smoking.
You will not have trouble finding someone to talk to. Just sit down at a table or arrive a little late and sit at a table with a couple of seats open. The conversation will flow from there.
If nothing else the discussions will be good practice for a future job interview.

answerjill's avatar

I think you should go. At my 10th reunion, I actually had a lot of fun talking to people with whom I had rarely, if ever, spoken to in high school. It was nice seeing how some of the social barriers had broken down over the years.

chyna's avatar

It sounds like you have already talked yourself out of it, and sounds like you expect to be miserable. I still think you should go, if it is close to where you live, and hang out for a bit. Set a time that you will give yourself, say an hour, and if you are having a bad time at the end of that hour, you leave.

Jeruba's avatar

I thought about it when it came around (a long time ago now). I felt a little bit drawn to the idea, perhaps because I’d grown up in a college community (my family included several faculty members) and saw lots of enthusiasm over reunions.

But then I thought: I did not enjoy being in high school very much at all, and I wouldn’t care to be 17 again for anything. So why would I want to go play at it with people I never even had conversations with back then? Forget it. And so I did.

As my fiftieth reunion date approached, someone set up a website so people could reconnect beforehand. And you know what I found out? The jerks were still jerks. And as for the people I liked and got along well with, we could connect without attending a dreary social event with a bunch of weirdly old guys last seen wearing teased flips and crew cuts.

So I contemplated going for about five minutes and then thought: I did not enjoy . . .

weeveeship's avatar

@LuckyGuy @chyna @zenvelo The venue will be a one hour bus ride each way from where I live (I could drive, but not knowing the parking or traffic situation near the venue, probably better to take the bus; driving will still take 45 mins, I think). The venue is also in a so-so neighborhood – not gritty urban but definitely not like the nice and safe suburban school we attended.

chyna's avatar

With that in mind, I probably would not go.

weeveeship's avatar

@chyna I mean I will wait and see if any of my friends will go, but as it stands, doesn’t look good.

weeveeship's avatar

@Jeruba Another point is that many of these folks are honestly not doing well, working odd jobs or lower-level jobs if they are employed. Few are professionals like my friends and me, so there’s not much by way of professional networking. The folks who are going are the same ones who used to go on about how the AP kids are “overachievers” and “nerds.”

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

My 10 year was a blast, I had a good number of my friends there and at that time I was in the best shape of my life. Girls who ignored me back in school were actively chasing me that night. Most people were still the same yet it was obvious that the nerds would win in the end as they were doing things in life already and looking healthy compared to what was the in crowd in school. Not many had settled down yet and it was a serious and surreal party.

My 20 year was meh, I knew a couple people and ended up leaving early because it was so f’ing boring.

Go to your 10 year for sure, even if you were not popular.

notwonderwoman's avatar

Don’t go. You won’t be missing anything. The people who are telling you to go didn’t grow up with the internet and the easy connections it gives you. These reunions aren’t for everyone and you’ve expressed your disinterest well. There will always be future reunions if you change your mind.

I belonged to the stoner/artistic group so I understand not belonging to everyone else. When I went to my 10 yr reunion the jocks and pretentious cunts who were in the majority of attendance were still stupid jocks and pretentious cunts.

canidmajor's avatar

Go if you’re curious, don’t if you don’t want to, it’s an evening that might be interesting. I have connected with some of my classmates as a grownup that I didn’t much like in school.
But then, I don’t tend to think to think of people I barely know in terms of “stupid jocks” or “pretentious cunts” so I don’t carry those preconceptions into a meeting after ten years.

NomoreY_A's avatar

Fug it. Stay home and watch Jimmy Kimmel.

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