Social Question

Jeruba's avatar

How much help do you usually give your spouse or S.O. in choosing a gift for you?

Asked by Jeruba (47743points) 3 weeks ago

Hints? Outright requests? Catalog pages and ads marked with highlighter and left conspicuously open?

Buy it yourself and let him wrap it?

Are surprises still fun or not?

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9 Answers

longgone's avatar

Hints at most, and often no help at all. He’s very good at it, especially for birthdays. I get lots of surprises that I love.

Presents are important to me. Not because of the things – it’s just good to know he knows me.

Mariah's avatar

Matt is an amazing gift giver. He somehow finds stuff for me that I didn’t even know I wanted. I wouldn’t ruin that magic by trying to guide him, haha.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

When my wife wants something specific I need her to basically put it in my amazon cart and say “this is what I want” otherwise it’ll never happen.
I think I’m good at off the hook surprises though.
I’m impossible to buy gifts for. She knows now the best gift I can get is down time. For my birthday she let me drop everything and spend the morning and afternoon picking at the flea market and antique shops before we had a nice dinner together. After 10 years together she finally understands.

LadyMarissa's avatar

With my first husband, I bought my own, wrapped it myself & allowed him to be surprised on Christmas when I opened it & again when the charge card bill came in. I considered it the gift that kept on giving!!! ;]

josie's avatar

None
Nor do I ask for any.
Gift giving is an empty experience when it is nothing more than being a delivery boy.

seawulf575's avatar

In past years, I have tried to come up with a list, though I would be perfectly content with nothing. This year I ordered myself a few audiobooks and told my wife that when they arrive, she can use them as my Christmas gift. Problem solved.

rojo's avatar

My wife usually listens to me over the year and decides from that. Sometimes I have to be careful of expressing too much interest in something, I may end up with it as an unwanted gift but I learned that lesson early in our relationship. She also knows that a fall back gift that is always appreciated is a gift card to the half price book store.

JLeslie's avatar

I’ll happily write a list. I’m a big believer in registries and making gift giving practical and easy for everyone.

I don’t understand making gift giving some sort of test. A special, perfectly chosen, surprise gift is nice, but often it’s not perfect in my experience. I don’t need more stuff that I don’t need.

I’m fine not receiving anything. Buying things when I want or need them is plenty for me and makes me just as happy. I don’t need it on a certain day. I feel like everything I buy is like a gift. I tell my husband “you bought me these shoes” when we simply were out on an average day shopping. I tell him 3 months later when I have worn them 30 times already. He just laughs and says “I buy you everything.” We both work and combine all of our money.

LadyMarissa's avatar

My last husband & I were so compatible that we instinctively knew what the other needed & seldom had to ask for what we wanted!!! Not long after we got married the company he work for folded & it was at the height of the job market collapse. Since I was the one still working & he was having a problem finding a job, he appointed himself as my househusband. He started doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, etc. As I’d be leaving for work in the morning, he’d hand me a bag with my lunch in it because he said it was cheaper to take my lunch than eat out. Then when I’d take out my lunch at noon, I’d find the sweetest little love notes telling me how wonderful I was & how happy I made him!!! Sometimes it was a simple “I love you” but it meant the world to me. At Christmas, we’d hand make gifts for each other. When the washing machine broke down, he’d hand wash my clothes for work the next day & then he’d research the problem with the washer, order the part, & repair it himself. We didn’t just give gifts for Christmas….it was a daily ritual. So, we didn’t blow a lot of money on unneeded gifts, we shared our lives daily!!!

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