General Question

honeybun35's avatar

Is this just a coincidence ?

Asked by honeybun35 (391points) September 10th, 2019

My friends with benefits called me through messenger yesterday and I missed the call. I tried calling him back and got no answer.
Later on in the day I just happened to see his post on Facebook.
It is a meme but he did not share it he typed it himself.This is what he posted:
Facts, fellas if her conversations are getting shorter with you , it’s getting longer with someone else. He also added I don’t know maybe God or Bob.

Bob is just the name I chose for the story but the name he used was my other male friend.It seemed kind of strange and maybe it is nothing. I was kind of startled as of why he said on Facebook.

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35 Answers

kritiper's avatar

That’s the problem with “friends with benefits:” There are always unexpected consequences.

canidmajor's avatar

Probably. The chances are good that he is not thinking about you nearly as much as you are thinking about him, or he would have worked on taking it out of the FWB stage and into something more meaningful.

chyna's avatar

You need to ask him. No one here knows.

SmashTheState's avatar

There’s no such thing as coincidence. If you flip a coin 100 times and it comes up heads 100 times, it’s going to be extremely significant to you. Yet to the Universe, it’s simply the result of the stochastic mechanical motion of particles jostling each other, no more or less meaningful than if it turned up 50 heads and 50 tails. The fact that you consider one result more significant than the other is therefore a result of your own archetypal narratives running in your head rather than anything inherent in the event.

This is what Jung referred to as “synchronicity.” It’s unimportant whether the proximate cause of you noticing the similarity of names was intentional on his part; the fact that you noticed it means your unconscious pattern-recognition machinery considers it to be important and is trying to draw your attention to a connection it’s made in this situation. It’s why synchronicity should never be ignored when it occurs.

To put it another way, these kinds of “coincidences” occur dozens, hundreds, or thousands of times a day and pass without your knowledge or recognition. The fact that your attention was drawn to this specific “coincidence” indicates that you have unconsciously and intuitively twigged to something about this situation which is trying to make its way to your conscious awareness,

jca2's avatar

He seems to think that if you are sleeping with him, there is a strong possibility that you are sleeping with others.

honeybun35's avatar

He would only think that because I have not contacted him. The person above said something about attention. That is not the case he called me and I missed the call. It was around same time. Not to mention the fact the person name is not common. I said I just used that for the story.
Many people believe he may have either went through my phone while I was sleep or when we were traveling I had to stop and use the rest room he could have done it then.

elbanditoroso's avatar

IS this real? Or just part of the book you are writing?

Does this guy really exist?

O are we now on chapter 13?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@elbanditoroso Inquiring minds want to know !

chyna's avatar

“Many people believe…”.
How many people are you telling this story to?

gorillapaws's avatar

I doubt it’s a coincidence. He probably has some modest feelings for you and who knows, if you keep fucking him casually for the next 10–20 years, he may even pop the question if nothing better comes his way first. If he had strong feelings for you now, then you would be in a relationship, not a FWB situation.

honeybun35's avatar

I am in love with the person’s name that he mentioned though. It doesn’t even matter.

Darth_Algar's avatar

If you’re in love with that dude then why are you fucking this dude?

honeybun35's avatar

He is 6 hours away.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@honeybun35 Who is 6 hours away? The man you love or your fuck buddy?

Thank you for being so entertaining. I am literally laughing out loud reading this thread, and the information that is leaking out. I am a happy, sexually active gay man, and I have 4 regular fuck buddies, but your life sounds much more complex and really much more fun than mine. Perhaps I should choose one of my fuck buddies to fall in love with so I can start asking questions like this one and your others.

By the way, thank you for writing more cogently. At least I could read this question and thread.

JeSuisRickSpringfield's avatar

You need to stop overanalyzing everything and just talk to the man. And if you won’t take my word for it, here’s a professional telling someone in a similar position the exact same thing.

anniereborn's avatar

I like cantaloupe.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I am having the opposite reaction as Jake’s.
This is without a doubt the most boring soap opera I have ever seen. Throw in some space aliens or killer cops or something.

janbb's avatar

I suggest you talk to the man or men in question and stop bothering us with questions we have no answer for. ( I also think you’re a teenager who’s jerking us around.)

jca2's avatar

Your questions always remind me of this song:

honeybun35's avatar

I like love will keep us together by Captain and Tennille.

anniereborn's avatar

Sex MIGHT keep us together. That’d be a good song.

rebbel's avatar

Where is the supposed coincidence in this?

honeybun35's avatar

The name of the guy he mentioned that is also the name of my friend. Bob was just used for this post so please don’t say it’s common.

rebbel's avatar

It’s common.

honeybun35's avatar

If you say so Cleopatrick

rebbel's avatar

You asked a question, right?

SmashTheState's avatar

@honeybun35 I’m curious, did you actually read anything I wrote about synchronicity? Did it make any sense to you at all?

raum's avatar

@SmashTheState I always figured you for a pragmatic. But I think you’re an optimist if you think she understood what you wrote.

ucme's avatar

This is what happens when a fuck buddy dances with a cum sponge…some co-inky-dink huh?

kritiper's avatar

“Friends with benefits” is confusing. Some girl or guy says “Let’s just be friends” instead of being an exact romantic type couple, and everyone wonders what it means.
You don’t do the nasty, the “benefits” part, with a friend.
“Benefits” are for, and should be for, significant romantic partners, like a full fledged boyfriend or girlfriend, and not just some simple “friend.” People, like me, will assume, and possibly rightly so, that your handing out “benefits” to all “friends.”

canidmajor's avatar

Did anybody else get multiple PMs from the OP declaring the wrongness of their posts, or am I the only “special” one?

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I got a “You’re welcome” to mine.

I can’t wait to see what she’ll dream up tomorrow. I hope everyone realizes we’re being trolled.

Tropical_Willie's avatar


Dutchess_lll's avatar

OMG! Honeybuns is bringing them out of the woodwork. For that I am super glad. Keep posting foolish one. Hi @JeSuisRickSpringfield!!!

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