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naaram's avatar

What should a boy do when he found his father is in a physical relationship with another woman?

Asked by naaram (12points) 1 week ago

recently I found a nude pic of my father with a woman.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

cookieman's avatar

I think I would need more information before I act or say anything.

Is it a recent photo or from a previous relationship? This can be hard to imagine, but if it is current, perhaps your mother knows. Sounds strange, I know, but some couples have arrangements or the type of marriage that allows for other relationships.

If you’re sure it’s neither of those options, then how is your relationship with your father? Can you talk to him about anything? Or, is he closed off or easily angered? If it’s the latter, mentioning it to him may not end well.

Of course, there’s always the passive-aggressive option of leaving the photo out somewhere mom would see it (if it’s printed).

naaram's avatar

hey cookieman, it is a recent photo. and I am sure that my mother don’t know about this. and I am worried about if my mother knows about this she can’t make it something bad will happen to our family. and my relationship with my father is good but I never asked any adult question to him.

kritiper's avatar

Just forget about it. You might end up making more trouble than anyone can/could handle.

janbb's avatar

Are your parents still married?

SEKA's avatar

This is a personal problem between 2 adults, so I think a boy should leave well enough alone and allow the 2 adults to deal with the problem. If mom already knows, she’s not that concerned. If she doesn’t know, dad might grow tired with his bimbo and end it before mom finds out. If mom finds out before dad ends it, it is still their problem and one which you aren’t experienced nor equipped to handle, so let the 2 of them deal with it

seawulf575's avatar

Sounds like you’ve got 3 choices.
1. Do nothing. Your parent’s relationship is between your mom and dad. Let fate figure it out.
2. Tell/show your mom. She might get upset, she might already know about it, or there might be some other reaction.
3. Confront your dad with the picture. You say you have a good relationship with your dad, but this event might change that.

There might be variations of these three, but that is about it for your choices. We, on Fluther, do not know you, do not know your parents, do not know how this information would impact them, cannot help you figure out how to approach your parents if that is your choice…we are sounding boards at best. Sadly, this falls to you. I can tell you how I would have handled it with my own parents, but my parents are not your parents. They might react differently.

Best of luck.

rebbel's avatar

Also, is it a recent photo of your dad?
Can you pinpoint how long ago this seems, if it is not?
Do you recognize the woman?
Could it be from before him and your mom got together?
Is the situation sexually loaded, or could it be they are in a sauna/wellness center?
How old are you?

cookieman's avatar

Well then, given that you are sure it’s a recent photo and your mom likely doesn’t know, I would then have to ask…how old are you?

Darth_Algar's avatar

Leave it. It’s none of your concern.

Dutchess_III's avatar

How did you come across the picture?

Inspired_2write's avatar

If it were me , I would give that photo to my father and ask why? Ask for an explanation while telling him that you thought that he was a better person.

When a child see’s his father’s disrespect for the marriage and family it marks his outlook on life forever.
THis is YOUR relationship to your father , so do not at this point involve the mother or anyone else.

Patty_Melt's avatar

It seems your dad has done something wrong. That is a difficult situation for a kid, whatever age, to process.

We learn from our parents. From infancy we look to them to be our strength, our protectors, our role models.
To discover they have human flaws leaves a lot of feelings which may include confusion, vulnerability, disappointment, even anger and resentment.

It is tough to learn a parent has done something wrong, especially when that wrong may possibly victimize other family members. There can be doubts, and fear.
Parents are flawed. We are human, and none of us are perfect. Discovering that is tough oftentimes for our kids.

Perhaps your mom knows, and is hurt by it, but hasn’t made a big deal of it in hopes of maintaining family unity.
I think if you approach your dad it puts that family unity in jeopardy.
However, if you feel you must have answers, I would not have the picture in hand. That would just involve an extra element of vulgarity not necessary.
If you feel you must have answers, simply refer to the picture. He would know what you mean. Ask him what this means for yourself and your family.
Since your father and the woman were both in the photo, that means the possibility someone else was there. I don’t know what resources your parents have, but it says to me possibly your mother knows, and hired an investigator to get proof.
Again I urge you to leave things alone. It could be a situation which has been dealt with already, and put into the past.
Look at it this way, if you had a girlfriend, and loved her deeply, would you want your parents to get involved if a problem came up between you?

Dutchess_III's avatar

How did you come across the picture?

janbb's avatar

If it wereme, I would probably need to ask my father about it to try to get a resolution.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The reason I keep asking how he came across the picture is because I want to know if he’s been snooping where he had no business snooping.

Also, he refers to himself as a “boy.” What does that even mean? How old is he?

rebbel's avatar

We don’t know; ask him.

jca2's avatar

I see the OP has not been here for two days, since he asked the question. Hopefully he returns and fills us in.

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