General Question

jca's avatar

If you were currently in a committed relationship, and an ex (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever) started emailing you and getting more and more flirty, would you allow yourself to flirt back?

Asked by jca (36025points) September 4th, 2008

would you flirt with the ex, or would you nip it in the bud and not engage in flirting emails? if you found out that your current spouse or mate (or whatever you call him or her) were engaging in flirtiness via email with their ex, would it upset you? or would you think it harmless?

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14 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I would not flirt back, and I do not think it is harmless. Something that takes away from your committed relationship in that you are spending time thinking about it, thinking about someone else in a romantic way, has a negative impact on that relationship.

tinyfaery's avatar

Slippery slope my friend… Do you have feelings for the ex? If so, you should do some soul searching. If it’s just for “fun”, ask yourself what your current SO might think about your “fun”.

jlm11f's avatar

No I would not flirt back. The committed relationship part makes that obvious according to me. If I felt the urge to flirt back, I would get out of said current relationship first. As for whether it would upset me if my partner did this, I would have to see the extent of the flirty-ness. But judging from my own actions, I don’t think I would take it well.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

I’m not gonna lie, I’d probably flirt back.
And that’s probably why I don’t do committed relationships.

augustlan's avatar

I have had exes as friends…“funny” flirting, of the type I would engage in in front of my spouse is ok. I would be completely honest and truthful about it with my spouse. Anything beyond that, no way. If I found out (he hadn’t told me himself) my spouse were flirting via email, I’d be seriously pissed.

torisecret's avatar

I wouldnt flirt back…the past is the past for a reason. why would you want to go backwards. I also thinks its disrespectful to your current boyfriend or girlfriend

Randy's avatar

They’re called exs for a reason. It’s fine to talk with them, but no, no flirting or anything like that.

ljs22's avatar

Go ahead and flirt a little. Just ask yourself first, how would my SO feel reading this? Know where the line is, and don’t cross it. Some of us are flirts and get a lot of energy from it. Denying that nature leads to problems.

cyndyh's avatar

Augustlan hit the exact distinction I would make as far as the current relationship goes.

I’d add that I would maybe be less likely to do any joking around sort of flirting with an ex, than with another friend, more out of fear he’d misinterpret it and get the wrong idea. Someone you’ve been intimate with before might think you’re likely to go there again when a friend might know when you’re joking.

Knotmyday's avatar

Remind the flirter exactly why you broke up as often as possible. That usually sets a nice, somber tone that your SO would be delighted to hear about.

Two birds, one stone, etc.

flameboi's avatar

Never look back (that applies for everything in life)

jca's avatar

tinyfaery: in response to your questions, if they were for me specifically, just FYI my question was hypothetical, nothing relating to my life now. if your questions were not for me specifically, then i misunderstand. just FYI for all, my questions were hypothetical.

tinyfaery's avatar

My question was rhetorical, but okay.

scamp's avatar

It’s not harmless on either side of the coin. Don’t do it and don’t tolerate it being done to you. To allow this in any way, you’d be heading for disaster. Using the internet doesn’t make it ok to flirt when you are in a commited relationship. Cheating is cheating, no matter what medium is used.

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