Have you made peace with getting older even though it beats the alternative?

There are days when somebody says “it beats the alternative” about this, I want to say: “does it reeeeeeeally? Does it _reeeally beat the alternative?” Sometimes the alternative sounds a little more peaceful. ;-)

Mostly it’s OK, I’d rather be here. Mostly.

I found myself asking who I am as I thought about things that are happening in my life. I’m cogitating on it.

I’m getting bumps on my forehead and nose that are unsightly to my eyes. I doubt anyone else sees them.

Aging beats the alternative for me for today. Just for today. I’ll let tomorrow sort itself out.

Well I’ve mostly come to peace with my idea of death.

Being alive, and suffering increasing . . . things, does seem like more work. But so far, I’m quite willing to suffer and work, for the many remaining good and interesting parts.

The survival instinct is strong, even for the ‘so what’ GenX’ers. Watching family pass is both sad and fascinating, imagining yourself in various scenarios. Since we chose not to have kids, and as a Christian, I’ve made peace with it, yes. Sometimes I even look forward to being with my God, family and all the animals I’ve loved.

@KNOWITALL This is a different question from the one you seem to be addressing. I am not asking about dying but about the physical and mental changes that come with age. Being ready to die is a separate, although related, issue. Nice that you feel at peace with it though.

I’m at peace with aging. But I’m in relatively good health. When I get to the point that I can’t walk as well as I do now or if I’m in and out of hospitals like my mom was, I don’t think I’d be as much at peace with aging then.

@janbb As you age you are more vulnerable to disease and health conditions that younger people can survive. So I see my ‘aging’ as being closer to death. Sorry if it’s too morbid but that’s how an overthinker sees the aging process.

I have had 26,000 years on this Earth. I am grateful for food and my own apartment.

I’m still fighting an uphill battle to make something out of myself.

My beard is white, and I am ok with that.
Last week I forgot my muggle age, (46) and I don’t know if I am 47 or 46.

I am focused on learning French, running my household, and crossing off my bucket list.

Funny you should ask this today; this morning I called my bosses and told them I would be retiring on May 3.

I am pretty much at peace with the vagaries of aging. I don’t like how stiff I am in the morning, and I wish my heart had not had issues, but I am looking forwrd o my “third life”.

Fuck no.

I do find a lot of humor in the “advice” that it is so easy for the younger ones to dispense. All the “just”. “If you just…” and “You should just…” and “Why don’t you just…”. I have been called rude when I laugh out loud at really naïve, well meant advice on what I should “just” do to overcome the aches and issues that have developed due to experiencing the last 70 years.

I hope that they get as many chuckles when it is their turn to hear it all. :-)

Serious negotiations on achieving “peace with aging” started for me about 2 or 3 years ago.

Negotiations are not looking good.

I fear Death but an aging human body is beginning to feel more and more terrifying than Death.

I just keep doing what I do. At this point nothing about age is slowing me down.

I did as soon as I stopped menstruating. I actually gave myself a high five. :D

Not really. I don’t obsess about it, but I see all sorts of health crap in my future.

The positive is hopefully I will be able to have a lot of fun before anything major happens.

I do feel like I need to keep my house neater in case I drop dead.

I just had a birthday yesterday, so I’ve been feeling happy and grateful and all that good stuff.

A good friend died a few months ago, age 64, suddenly, no illness that we knew of. It made me start thinking about reaching out and getting in touch with people, not all people, but a few that I like that I want to not let slip away. Other friends I’m kind of letting slip away, and we just keep in touch on social media, and that’s ok.

I do wonder what I’m going to be like when I’m 70 or 80 and what my life will be like. Will I still be living where I am now? Will I be doing things I want to do, and able to do things I want to do (physically able, financially able)? What will the world be like?

What will my life be like when my good friends have passed away?

I feel like the hand of fate picks people off, and gives other people illnesses, and so if you’re lucky, you remain but maybe you’ll have some illness, and if you’re not lucky, you’ll be dead.

So far so good and only minor ailments. For the future who knows My parents and grandparents all lived with major health problems some of which killed them but they each lived graciously to the end. I will bear their examples in mind and perhaps set an example for my children and grandchildren to follow, but not yet.

@Caravanfan I love your honesty.

No way!
I’m 73 and fight aging every day in physical exercise. Of course it’s a losing battle. But I believe that remaining as strong as you can will slow the aging process.

No but have accepted it, but this aging thing is sucking big time the pain in my knees is getting worse and affecting every aspect of my life right now.

@JLeslie, I work with a different premise. I don’t keep the the house a little neater, if I suddenly drop dead, I won’t are.;-)

I’ve never personally seen anyone get out of life alive (Jesus is a possible exception). Death is a part of life. That has no bearing on whether I should enjoy life now or not. Hell, if I had my way I’d go out at age 100 because I was skydiving and the parachute didn’t open.

@canidmajor That makes sense too.

@SQUEEKY2 What’s with the knees anyway? I’m not overweight and exercise, but my knee cap keeps sliding out of place. Sigh. My doctor said to stop crossing my legs, but its really starting to be annoying.

@KNOWITALL @SQUEEKY2 So weird, a cholesterol medication I took loosened all of my large joints, knees, shoulders, and hips. Stretched the ligaments I think. I stopped the meds and mostly it got better except my knees I can still feel it. I’m not as steady because of it. I feel like I can easily dislocate my knees.

Check your vitamin D levels might help your knees. Also, some knee exercises can strengthen the muscles so your knee is more steady.

Reading this thread makes me feel like I’m the youngest person on this site.

@Kropotkin Which engenders the question, how young or old are you? And I know at least two quite young members of the site.

I made peace with it when I turned 20.

@JLeslie A lot of people, as they age, have tendon issues with their joints and also, the cartilage in joints (like knees) wears down so the bones are pretty much rubbing on each other.

My knees have been hurting. I don’t want to go to the doctor about it because I feel like all they want to do now is push knee replacements (and hip replacements).

@JLeslie Interesting. I do take a low dose statin but I figured at 51 maybe it’s just my time. My cousin is 40 and has the same kneecap issue so possibly in iur dna. Idk but it hurts like a dislocated shoulder when it slips, I certainly will not have surgery. And I do exercise daily but it doesnt seem to help. :(

@janbb I’m 47 and a half.

One thing though, I’ve been very lucky with my health and I don’t feel or look like I’ve aged much.

@KNOWITALL It wasn’t a statin, but just saying a weird side effect. Not sure if other people report it with the drug I took or other drugs for that matter.

@jca2 It was sudden, all the joints at once. It did get a little better when I stopped the med, and only very noticeable still in my knees. I guess once it stretches it probably doesn’t bounce back like how a muscle can heal.

@Kropotkin Your profile picture looks way over 47 haha!

I don’t think it was the tendons I think it was/is the ligaments with the medication. I sometimes feel like I have tendon pain, but I’m not sure if it is. I have muscle problems for years and I think the same thing that’s wrong affects my tendons.

Edit: Just saying I’m going by how it feels.

I have and have always had hyperflexion in my knees, which enables me to press my palms to the floor with my knees not bending (when many people can’t touch their toes without bending their knees). However, the hyperflexion is not good for the knees.

^^I could never touch my toes and I still can’t. Does it feel like you could easily slip out of joint.

@JLeslie No. It just feels like my knees are bending backwards a little.

@JLeslie I had PT about 20 years ago for a traumatic ankle injury and when I was evaluated by the physical therapist, she told me “you’re more flexible than most women.” I told her “men like it.” She thought that was really funny and I think I shocked her a little haha.

I would think touching the floor is probably more than just the knees. Isn’t also having long elastic muscles.

@jca2 Sometimes I was afraid men were going to tear a leg muscle on me during sex, because I was much less limber than most young women.

@SQUEEKY2 Driving a truck likely did your knees in. Long period of sitting, jarring them stepping in and out of the truck, spending our life walking on concrete all probably did a number on the knees. Ever have the doctor look for arthritis in the knees?

I’m with @Caravanfan and the “fuck no” crowd. Now that I can see that I have several gray hairs, I’m reminded of my mortality and I don’t accept it. And last year I had a crown put in. 32 and I already have a fake tooth. It’s all downhill from here… :(

@KNOWITALL “Your profile picture looks way over 47 haha!”

I’ve no idea what you mean.

Well. Mark your calendars.
I’m with @canidmajor .

Unless we somehow discover “the alternatives” are worse than this, there can be no comparison.
There have been times in my life that I would have preferred almost anything but reality…

Personally. Right now, it’s my fucking hair.
My large beard is still auburn, mixed with black, blonde, and grey.

The back of my head, conveniently where I can never see, my hair has strong dark brown color. The rest…..is white AF, and grey.
I keep my hair in a pony tail usually, so the darker hair mixes in and (in my mind) I look my age. 43.
Maybe because of my extreme health challenges, or genetics, but I don’t feel like I’ve “earned” all this grey…
We all know I’m no wiser…

I still do a lot of activities that I always have. Mainly, I am more calculating now. Rather than just rushing into things knowing that I could probably handle them.

I’m not ok with it. But. When I’m going down fast rivers in my canoe, I pay a lot of attention to as far forward as I can see. I know I’m not as strong as I used to be, so I have to be a few steps ahead, to achieve the same goals.

I’m trying to age, admirably.

The recovery time for injuries is “different” from when I was 24.

Age is a MFer. We seem to get punished for surviving…

@Kropotkin Hey you changed it, sneaky!!

@Demosthenes You were just a teen when you joined Fluther and many of us have watched you grow up. I can’t believe you have some gray hairs now! Wear those hairs with pride. :)

@Demosthenes It is all downhill so you might as well enjoy the ride!

@Demosthenes No way! You are not 30! I remember you talking about high school. That was just a year or so ago.

@Kropotkin You win the thread with the picture change. :-D

I am 81 now and to be honest, I never give it much thought. I am fairly healthy and will probably live happily for at least another 20 years.

As an old, I worry about my knees and my finances. I enjoy being more calm, diplomatic, accepting, non-judgmental and friendly than I was as a youngster.

@Call_Me_Jay Me too – except for those idiots!

At what age do I get to yell, “Get off my lawn!”?

@Hawaii_Jake 68!

I was supposed to wait??? I’ve been yelling that since I was 65! I thought it was one of my Medicare benefits!

And mostly I just yell it at snow.

@Hawaii_Jake I was yelling that when I was 30. Damned hunters….

I have never understood “get off my lawn”. I welcome neighbors, and have installed a basketball

Aging is Death knocking on my balls.

Death comes for us all but we don’t have to like it. I am fine with aging and I don’t do anything to hide it. I still enjoy staying active but wear and tear is progressive. I don’t bounce back from injuries as easily now, I need reading glasses and it’s harder to stay fit. I’m not ok with that part. I do like the knowledge and wisdom that comes with age, that is until I lose that to age as well.

I was always nearsighted, and still am (very nearsighted, like blind without glasses or contacts). Now, I’m also farsighted. I have worn contacts since I was 18 and without contacts or glasses, I can’t see a thing. Now, if I have my contacts on, for distance, I need either reading glasses to read up close, or I need to wear my regular glasses and I can lift them up so I can read up close. It’s a hassle.

I have prescription sunglasses but the whole thing makes it more complicated – contacts and reading glasses and regular sunglasses or regular glasses and prescription sunglasses. I know sunglasses of some type are important because sun damage is what causes cataracts.

@jca2 I don’t know if this helps (I got a bit lost there) but I have some reader sunglasses from Amazon that really are marvelous for outside. They are polarized.

I have prescription sunglasses but the whole thing makes it more complicated – contacts and reading glasses and regular sunglasses or regular glasses and prescription sunglasses.

I know that complication.

1) For my previous job, I wore contact lenses because glasses slid down my nose constantly from sweating – I was walking, lifting, and negotiating stairs and ladders 10 hours per shift.

2) But with age, I need reading glasses with my contacts for close-up work. So I still need glasses, wearing them on a leash around my neck while I wear contacts.

3) Sunglasses add another layer of complication.

My new job does not require contacts. I wear bifocals, and clip sunglasses onto them for driving.

I’ve known I’ve been aging for some time now, but it really didn’t occur to me until my grandson at age six told me he thought I was old!

At 75, I have a few health issues that are pretty well managed, and I believe medical technology is developing to the point of near immortality for most people alive today.

The big surprise in my life, though, is that all my time is being taken up acting as caregiver for Mrs Strauss. Without going into details, she’s been mobility-impaired for the past year. She’s improving steadily, but it’s a two step forward, one step back type of situation. We’re hopeful she improves enough before time takes its toll on me and the situation reverses.

Interestingly, the situation has enabled us to “fall in love again” after our first 35 years!

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I turned 50 on March 1st. I waiver from day to day. Some days I’m like, I am basically already dead. Other days I’m like, wow, I still look good, I have a lot life yet.

I have always been sickly and I am definitely worried about what the last 30 years of my life (hopefully no longer) is going to look like. I am doing absolutely nothing to make my health better. lol

@tinyfaery Happy Birthday! I will hit 70 on Thursday, and am a bit surprised. Between (like you) a certain amount of lifelong health issues, and (also probably like you) a certain amount of reckless and stupid, I am a bit surprised by that. ;-)

^^ Happy Birthday to both of you.

Something that really sucks for me as I age is watching the world around me grow meaner.

That is very true∆∆∆
And a lot less intelligent!

Another way I view getting older is that I look back on my life and realize every decade of my life has been better than the one before it.

I hate watching people, animals, pass away. I’m unable to articulate how I feel about exactly how some of my most cherished loved ones have passed. How inglorious disease, pandemics, and “acts of God” can be.

Part of getting older, to me, means surviving.
Surviving pretty ridiculous odds, often in situations of my own creation, and other times just being “lucky.”

It’s so impossible to see some things happen. And to have such things recurring, is grueling.

“Growing meaner” as mentioned, is an ugly but completely understandable evolution of a person to navigate their environment.

Living, means questioning one’s existence in comparison to others. Watching your world change, and adapting to ultimately overcome your obstacles, has it’s merits.

We should never forget how fickle life is.
I think people should have some pride in their age.

Being human is a chronic fatal condition.

I saw a T-shirt the other day that said, “I may be old, but at least I experienced the world before it went to shit!”

An awareness that has startled me a bit is the idea of the “last” time. For example I realized that the dog I have now was the last puppy I’ll raise, I barely survived his puppyhood 8 years ago (and he was easy!), I think another puppy would lay me out.
I hope this week to get another tattoo, pretty sure this will be my last before my skin gets a bit too old and weird.
Stuff like that.

^^ I had this same thought and rabbit hole follow-up thoughts just yesterday. I was decluttering some old stuff and came across a cap gun I had used in a Halloween costume for a party years ago. It still had caps loaded and I cycled through them before putting it in the donate pile. I had the thought that “this will probably be the last time I’ll fire off a cap gun.” Then, you realize there will be a lot of “last times” as you get older only you don’t always know what or when they’ll be.