Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

Is it nice or not nice to say someone looks better older or younger?

Asked by JLeslie (65512points) 1 month ago

Let’s say someone is 40 or 50 years old and they post a photo of themselves from when they were 25 years old and someone writes, “you look better now.” Is that mean to write that they look better now?

What if they post the younger photo and someone gushes about how amazing the person looked when they were younger? Is that saying that they have lost their looks and in the end isn’t very nice to say?

How do you feel about it?

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19 Answers

smudges's avatar

I’d probably abstain and say neither. I definitely wouldn’t say they look better when younger – most people do.

jonsblond's avatar

People can be awkward when giving compliments. I just assume they are being nice and not worry if there is some hidden meaning.

chyna's avatar

The best response here would be something like “both pics of you are great”!
Or maybe something like “Gee girl, are you ever gonna age?”
Or if you can’t make an honest comment without hurting someone, just move on.

Blackberry's avatar

It’s generally frowned upon, due to everyone’s subconscious esteem issues, which aren’t a problem…by the way…but aging and looks can make people sad so it’s best to not say anything.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m certain it was a compliment so I’m choosing nice. But ill-advised either way.
Think before speaking is a good rule to follow.

Demosthenes's avatar

I mean, if upon seeing a photo of a younger me they say something like “you were so cute!”, I say “WERE?!! I’m still adorbs” :)

smudges's avatar

^^ and you are! ;)

Caravanfan's avatar

Depends on the person. Usually I’d say something like, “Jesus Fucking Christ. What happened to you?”

seawulf575's avatar

People get weird when it comes to their looks and aging. However many comments like the one mentioned are just that…comments. I saw a picture of when I was 20 years old. I was 6’ tall and weighed 145#. I was a bean pole. I look better now. It isn’t wrong to say, it’s an observation. Another time I got interviewed on TV. I had a number of people tell me they thought the camera adds another 10 pounds, but that it looked like it added another 25 for me. These were friends that were joking around and I took no offense. It did add at least 10# though.

The point is that sometimes people say such things as mere observations. Or it is mental musing that slips out. Either way, people touchy way too easily if something like that offends them.

canidmajor's avatar

If someone says something nice, without snide or mean subtext, I take it as something nice.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’d take it as a compliment and say “Thanks!”

Forever_Free's avatar

A common sentiment. BTW, you look great!

seawulf575's avatar

My MIL (R.I.P.) was the queen of backhanded compliments. My favorite was when my wife and I went to her house, she looked at my wife and said “I really like that outfit. It looks good on you. It doesn’t make you look as fat as you usually do.” My wife then said “So you’re saying I’m fat?” “No! I just said I liked the outfit!”

Delivery is everything.

mazingerz88's avatar

Nice or not nice? Could easily go either way so imo it’s best to hold one’s tongue.

But if one must…when referring to a photo just say “You look good.” Don’t even add the word “here” as in “You look good here.”….which could create in one’s mind a misconstrued implication.

smudges's avatar

@seawulf575 I didn’t think it was possible to apologize backhandedly. I was wrong…a ‘friend’ said, “Ohhh I’m sorry you took what I said so wrong!” :\

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

“You look the same as always!” is good if it’s true. Which is rare.

I had a tight group, five friends in our early 20s. We met for a photo a couple of years ago, in our late 50s. I call the picture, “Linda time-traveled from the 80s to see what the rest of us look like as oldsters.” She really does look the same.

gorillapaws's avatar

I just say “you look great!”

jca2's avatar

I just say “what a beautiful photo” or “gorgeous!”

Sometimes if I see a photo of someone’s dad from a long time ago (when the dad was young) I will say “your dad was cute” or “he was handsome” nd I wonder if that’s weird, but it’s still a compliment.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

My grandma had a picture of the young queen of England, in her broom closet. I saw it and said that she was beautiful then. I was only 6.

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