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MissAnthrope's avatar

Do rebound relationships ever work out?

Asked by MissAnthrope (21458points) September 27th, 2008

I’m of the mindset that if you’re still healing/stuck on someone, your relationship with someone else will suffer. I see that as a recipe for disaster.. like, how long can a relationship under those conditions really last?

So what I’m wondering is whether any of you have had rebound relationships that worked and turned into something long-term.

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11 Answers

krose1223's avatar

I have had rebounds in the past and they helped but also caused some damage. I agree that is an inevitable heart break. I got very confused because I ended up having feelings for two people at once. I think one should go out and DATE, but not get serious. The dating helps with the lonliness so one would not fall back into the previous relationship. For me it would be better not to get serious right after a major break up, but hey, everyone is different.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@krose – That’s exactly how I feel. See, I just got dumped for the second time by the same girl. We have a history of about 2.5 years. It’s time for me to move on, and I definitely could use some distraction. So I want to date, but I don’t have much desire to get into anything serious.

Then I got to wondering if that was even a good idea, like what happens if I end up really liking someone new? Being that I’m still hurting and healing, could that even work out long-term?

krose1223's avatar

Yeah it probably just depends on if your feelings for that person are TRUE or just something your mind fabricated to forget your ex. I mean, love happens when it happens; there is no time limit, restrictions, or rules. You can’t dodge having chemistry with someone because you’re scared of being hurt. If you really do fall in love with someone new I think that is part of the healing process. These things don’t just go away over night! Hell, it took me 4 years and 3 boyfriends to be able to HONESTLY say I was over my first love. Just go out there and have fun. You know your limitations better than anyone on here so just go with that. I think it’s good if you date.

marinelife's avatar

You say you just got dumped. Find your distraction in other places for a while.

Get together with friends! Do group activities. Tell youself you are not going to get romantically involved with anyone for at least three months.

I do think that you need to give yourself that time. In the history of human relartionships has a rebound relationship worked a few times? Probably, but not most of the time so why set yourself up for that?

II’m sorry for the break-up. Take care.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Yeah, I suspected as much.. like, I guess it could happen on occasion, but I doubted that good long-term stuff from a rebound is probably rare. And thanks.

I really didn’t mean to turn this into a discussion of my relationship woes.. I was sitting around wondering if there were any success stories from the rebound situtation. See, I need some distraction; she is unscathed and living it up, so I want to do that, too.

tinyfaery's avatar

I met my wife about 3 months after I ended a 4 year relationship. The moment I kissed her I knew it would last forever. Technically, my 7 year marriage is a rebound relationship. You just never know. Stop looking for awhile, but don’t turn away if someone great comes along.

gailcalled's avatar

In my family, my daughter got keel-hauled in her rebound relationship. But she rushed into it.

augustlan's avatar

When I was separated but not yet divorced, I decided I would never marry again. I wanted to go out and have fun, though – with no strings. Through discussions with a new co-worker, I found that he felt the same way. We arranged a date, strictly for fun…and fell in love that night. I resisted the pull of my feelings for quite some time, since he was literally the first man I’d dated in 20 years. Finally, I came to the realization that the universe had dropped the perfect man in my lap. Who am I to disagree with that? I accepted his 6th marriage proposal, and we’ve been blissfully married for 3 years now.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@tiny and august – Wow. Great stories. :) I’m glad it worked out for you.

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