General Question

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Is there something you've never forgiven yourself for?

Asked by DrasticDreamer (23974points) April 25th, 2009

If so, how many years have gone by? How often do you think about it? Do you think you’ll ever let yourself move on?

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25 Answers

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’m not sure about not forgiving myself for, but there are certainly things that I’d rather forget that I really can’t. I have to be able to forgive myself though, because if you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t really forgive anyone.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I can’t forgive myself for something, but I frequently forgive other people. It kinda depends on the individual, I think.

Facade's avatar

I do my best to make sure I forgive myself of everything.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Kind of what I’m referring to is something so powerful, that you just weren’t or aren’t capable of letting go.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

20 years ago, I thought about it often, and let it go about 9 years ago.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Something from 10 years ago. I’m getting better in my head, but it still haunts me. Always will.

cookieman's avatar

Something I found out last year makes me regret not doing something twenty years ago – but then I didn’t know about it for sure until last year (only suspected it) – so I guess there’s no way I could have done what I should have twenty years ago because I didn’t know about it then – but I do now. But I didn’t then – soooo, I’m letting myself off the hook.

wow, this forgiving myself stuff is exhausting

augustlan's avatar

I have forgiven myself in my head, but my heart disagrees regularly.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@augustlan I fully understand that!

Garebo's avatar

Yeah, never talking to Karen Gmito in HS. Not listening to my brother to sell SciMed at 90 before the lawsuit. Wasting time working for company’s that were morally bankrupt…............

cak's avatar

Until this week, I hadn’t forgiven myself for something; however, a friend unknowingly opened that door for me. It is something that I truly wish had never happened, especially once I realized a few things this week – something about the situation that really opened my eyes and let me know that I wasn’t the only one that should have been saying they were sorry. I realized that I accepted far too much of the responsibility and for that, I’m an idiot. I have a freedom in me, that I haven’t felt in quite some time. Even though the situation was really over, there were a few lingering feelings, that I should have done more. Nope, no more.

I have forgiven myself and am moving so far past that blip on the radar, it’s a good feeling. I owe my friend more than the person really knows, the one that helped me really move forward. A really good friend.

aviona's avatar

I tortured and killed a grasshopper when I was 10. It involved a mason jar and a sparkler. I still feel horrible about it.

augustlan's avatar

@aviona I used to ‘dissect’ bugs and crayfish when I was little. WTF was I thinking?!? At least we didn’t turn out to be serial killers.

zephyr826's avatar

When I was little, I was the understudy for the lead in our church’s Christmas program. I was so upset that I didn’t get the lead that I prayed for her to get sick. There was a school-wide flu epidemic, and they closed the school for a week. 60 kids were sick, including her. I still feel guilty.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@zephyr826 LOLL, I very much doubt that it was your praying that got her sick. Let it go.

filmfann's avatar

30 years ago. I have been forgiven by those involved, but can’t forgive myself.
I feel I let down myself in a way I will never recover.
I should add that I often channel that into forgiving others, completely and without doubt.

bosco88's avatar

yes…many years ago and I still can not forgive myself…i thought i was doing the right thing at the time…..i am not sure….

livsmom08's avatar

That’s what secrettweet and postsecret are for!

SarasWhimsy's avatar

For the past year or so, I’ve been trying to:

Forgive everyone I felt had ever wronged me. Done

Live without regrets – I’ve either let it go or have apologized to whoever I thought I wronged. Done

There is still one thing that I cannot forgive myself for. I don’t know if I ever will. Whenever I feel I’m getting close to think about it I try to shut my thoughts down. I hope it’s the worst thing I’ll ever do in my life. If I ever do something worse, I don’t think I’ll know who I am as a person anymore.

I sincerely hope that one day I’ll be able to move on. But it’s now been eleven years.

john65pennington's avatar

This may not be exactly the answer you are looking for, but it does fit the situation. i was working a part-time security job at a department store, in the mid 70s. i observed this man take something from a package and place it in his pocket…..shoplifting. waited until he passed the checkout lanes without paying for the article. i stopped him and advised him he was under arrest for shoplifting. he became arrongant and defensive. i reached in his jacket pocket and brought out the shoplifted merchandise. he then took a swing at me. i subdued the man and handcuffed him. here is what i regret. i regret not defending myself by not giving him a bloody nose for assaulting me. i have thought about this situation for many years and regretted not breaking his nose. i would have been within my rights and honestly, none of the viewing customers would have cared. this was in a big, popular department store, that is now bankrupct. i missed my chance and its strictly my fault.

Pandora's avatar

I think at some point in everyones life we take a wrong step and wish we could erase it. Something we felt was untrue to how we see ourselves. And when we do its always a hard lesson to swallow and we find it hard to forgive ourselves. I think we fear if we forgive ourselves we will forget how easily we can make such an error again. Feeling guilt keeps us from repeating it if we feel guilty enough.
And yes, being human I have made my fair amount of mistakes and have learned that I really hate guilt as much as not being true to myself.

second_guessing's avatar

I have moved on from it although i still think of it when i’m feeling down. I regret not seeing sooner that my son was ill, brushing aside his usual behaviour and not noticing that he was actually very poorly. I feel if we had got help sooner then he would still be here today.

5 years have past.

augustlan's avatar

@second_guessing I’m so sorry for your loss.

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