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AtSeDaEsEpPoAoSnA's avatar

When you become old (lets just 90 years old), would rather be fit and gorgeous with dementia, or frail and wrinkly with your wits?

Asked by AtSeDaEsEpPoAoSnA (1499points) May 18th, 2009

I am always curious to how it feels to be old and close to the end of your days. Which would you rather be?

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30 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

Depends if I’m happy or not. If I can be happy and keep my mind, I’ll take the latter.

Judi's avatar

Dementia can be fun. And if I feel good….... (wait, what’s the difference between that and now….)

miasmom's avatar

I would rather have my wits and anyone who has watched someone go through dementia or alhziemers would agree. It is not fun to watch or go through.

Isolationary's avatar

I’m young and demented. I think I can see where I’m headed despite personal preference. Hurr hurr hurr!

gailcalled's avatar

My mother is already there, at 94, and she is both still beautiful and plagued with senile dementia. It is very difficult. I and my sister spend a lot of time helping her cope, and I do not find this question either amusing or helpful.

Being old and near death is not fun. And no one has the choice between two glib states of mental acuity. Life does what it wants with you.

skfinkel's avatar

Without question, with my wits. The wrinkles will be there in either case anyway. And if you’re gorgeous but don’t know it, what difference?

Judi's avatar

I could handle the wrinkles, but the frail is what bothers me. I am watching my mom and mil get frail and it makes me sad. Best choice is wrinkles, strong body and sound mind. I would hate to have pain from a frail body and keep my wits to know about it. That’s why I would rather have a sound body (when I’m 90.) I already know I’ll be an eccentric old bat.

GAMBIT's avatar

I want my wits so I can tell little tidbits of my life to my grand kids. I would not need my looks if I could not cook or clean for myself. Who would want to be around a man who wares a frown and can’t remember yesterday when his mind was sound.

essieness's avatar

I’d definitely want my wits. You’re supposed to be wrinkly and frail when you’re old. You’re old. But I’d still like to know who and where I am and be able to carry on a conversation or read a book. Or Fluther…

janbb's avatar

Going through it now with my mom; dementia is not fun. Obviously, we don’t get to choose but I would rather have a sound mind and lose my looks. While we’re making requests, I’d really like to be spared debilitating pain too.

Supacase's avatar

I have an easy comparison of the two – my grandmother is wrinkly and frail with her wits about her, her sister has dementia. I would choose my grandmother’s life over my aunt’s 100 times over.

My aunt is scared almost all of the time and thinks people are after her. My grandma spent the night with her once and said she found my aunt on the floor between the toilet and bathtub with a coat over head. She said “they” couldn’t see her that way.

galileogirl's avatar

Since I have never been gorgeous, it’s too late to deal with it now. Senility is not just forgetting things, it starts off with confusion and then becomes the loss of physical functions. Who wants to live in a state of confusion, never able to make yourself understood, wearing a diaper, getting lukewarm baby food shoved in your mouth’

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’m afrad of dementia and am kind of partial to my wits so I’ll take the latter

Judi's avatar

I think my witts left me long ago :-)

pikipupiba's avatar

Old people are not here to look good. They are here to share their knowledge and life experiance. All an old demented person can do is waste other’s time and make others feel sorry for them. Nuff said.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@pikipupiba that’s harsh, I don’t think old people are here for our benefit – what a pressure to look forward to

Judi's avatar

I don’t care about the “looking good” part, it’s the “frail” part. I dont want to be afraid of falling, breaking my hip or worse. I want to jump around and be crazy with my great grand children when I’m old and kookie.

eponymoushipster's avatar

the latter. looks aren’t everything.

and, in view of the given circumstance, no one wants to be around a good looking person who just shit their pants.

essieness's avatar

@Judi That’s why I wish there was more out there in the way of exercise/fitness programs for seniors. My mom does home health physical therapy and treats many elderly patients who have those same problems and it’s mostly because they just don’t get up and moving around much. Then they become frail, then become afraid… it’s a vicious cycle. Some are better about staying active, though. One of our “regulars” at my restaurant is a man named Ed. Ed is 82, goes to pilates 3 days a week, and plays golf the other 4. He comes in to Outback and has a nice dinner and a couple of gin martinis on pilates days, and goes to a couple of other places on golf days. I asked him why he decided to take pilates, and he said when he bought a house built in the 1930s, he tried to bend over to plug in his TV and couldn’t. He had to call his daughter to do it. That was enough for him to get his butt in gear! And he said it helped his sex life, LOL.

@eponymoushipstr I hate that I’ve maxed out on lurve for you.

casheroo's avatar

Uh, my husband married me “for better or for worse” so I’ll always be the 22 year old he married ;)

I’d rather have my wits. I fear losing my mind. That’s not to say I won’t be one of those elderly people with no filter.

Buttonstc's avatar

Definitely I want to keep my wits. I spent several years as a live in caretaker for an elderly couple who were both in various stages of dementia and as others have pointed out, there is nothing fun about it at all.

I DO NOT want to have to live the reality of that old joke bumper sticker that reads ” Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. ”

sakura's avatar

Old and wrinkly with my mind in tact please :)

Bluefreedom's avatar

I would like to be frail and wrinkly with my wits also, it that’s okay. I watched my grandmother die of Alhzheimers and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, ever.

Jack79's avatar

the latter for sure

jca's avatar

brains intact, please. i dont’ care about looks – what good are looks if you’re wearing a diaper eating baby food?

janbb's avatar

Well, it seems to be unanimous. We’ll be a bunch of old wrinkly people still Fluthering wittily away well into our dotage.

rooeytoo's avatar

I’ll keep my wits, then when the body gets too frail and painful, I can make the call to Dr. Jack Kevorkian or Dr Philip Nitschke in Australia.

I am pro choice from start to finish!!!

Judi's avatar

I may be the only healthy loon out there!

Fred931's avatar

Wits a thousand times wits!

augustlan's avatar

I’d rather be a witty raisin than a demented grape any day.

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