General Question

sjmc1989's avatar

How do you deal with worrying constantly?

Asked by sjmc1989 (5489points) June 3rd, 2009

I have always worried a lot but, lately I can’t sleep or do quiet activities without worrying myself sick. When I start this I get extremley nauseous, I start having what feels like a hot flash, and my breathing gets faster. For the past month I have had to take sleeping pills every night and during the day if I start doing this I have to go to a loud place, talk to someone, or last resort drink alcohol. (So I can’t hear my own thoughts) If you experince this is there any techniques that you have done that has helped you? Any information will be greatly appreciated.

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52 Answers

cyn's avatar

keep yourself busy…. Remember that everything happens for a reason :)))

Blondesjon's avatar

drink…a lot

cyn's avatar

@Blondesjon what about stoned?

hearkat's avatar

I don’t worry. Worrying doesn’t fix or prevent or change things. If there is something I think can do to sway the events to unfold, I take action. If I recognize that things are completely out of my hands, I let it go.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Self-medicating is dangerous! Please be careful. I have found a couple of people to whom I can talk about what’s troubling me without fear of judgement. Please look into low-cost thearapy in your town. It sounds like, just from what you’ve said here, to be some sort of anxiety issue, and hopefully, there is somplace nearby where you can get help to calm yourself down.

I have also started meditating. This is very hard.

But I sit for a few minutes each morning and evening and, just for a few minutes, focus on breathing. That’s all, breathing. inhaling deeply, and then exhaling deeply. When I see that I’m strating to think, I bring my concentration back to breathing. It teaches me how to be present, since most things we worry about are from the past or about the future. But the past is gone and can’t be changed. And the future isn’t known to us, so there’s no sense in worrying about it. Stuff from the past won’t come with us to the present unless we carry it with us.

In any event, finding someone to talk to about your worries who knows how to help you lessen them is probably the first step. Good luck.

Since010501's avatar

There are a lot of good breathing techniques you can use. I personally am taking Paxil now after being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Meditation may calm the errant thoughts. It takes practice and patience but it is healthy for so many reasons.

sjmc1989's avatar

@aprilsimnel I try not to self-medicate I have a bad history of that and I’m trying to stay away from it. I will try meditating I never have before.

@Since010501 What symptoms did you have to know you had an anxiety disorder?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I experienced this briefly some years ago and it was brought on by putting too much on my own shoulders, huge ambitions and control issues. What helped me was a prescription to anti anxiety meds which evened out the mood swings I was experiencing and from there I was better able to weigh situations that I could positively affect and those to back off from. This wasn’t a quick fix either, it took about three years to re train myself.

hearkat's avatar

@aprilsimnel: Good advice on meditation; I have also recently started practicing. (I have already learned to be present, but I find that in the present I am very distractible. So I am using it to help me with my focus.)

YARNLADY's avatar

Use the same methods that are recommended for handling stress.

l.Make some time alone for yourself.
2.First of all breathe, just forget about everything and breath long breaths.
3.Have orange handy, split, squeeze it into a bowl or cup ( that relieve some tension) maybe drink the orange juice since it is good for you.
4.turn on your favorite music.
5.Close your eyes and imagine you are at your favorite place, the beach, the woods or such.
6.Pay close attention to your food intake, and exercise. Make sure to eat right and get enough exercise. Exercise will give you the stamina to deal with all the pressure throughout the day.
7.Write down exactly what is bothering you. Use as much detail as possible. Now write down possible remedies for the issues you have.
9.Leave your worries on paper, and let them out of your head.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Write it down. It helps so much to get your worries out of your head and have a place to go back to them when you feel like you are missing something. It can be in journal format or it can be in list format (really whatever works for you). It is tremendously helpful.

Also get yourself preoccupied at a task you enjoy. Something that makes you laugh or something creative. Anything that you get involved in and don’t even realize you haven’t been worrying that entire time.

I also second the worries on self-medicating

sjmc1989's avatar

@RedPowerLady Its not like I worry about just money or school or one particular thing. If I realize I am not worrying about something I have to search until I find something to worry about. Im so used to constantly worrying I panic when I don’t knowing that there is something I need to be worrying about.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@sjmc1989 I understand. Well, I am not in your shoes, but I do know that feeling.

Both the suggestions above are still quite helpful.

But what it really sounds like is there is something you are blocking yourself from thinking about and are so worrying about everything else to compensate. It is actually a productive strategy. We create strategies like this because they work. At some point, however, they typically become more of a problem than a solution and then we are forced to deal with the original problem. Do you think this is a possibility?

SeventhSense's avatar

Distracting yourself and using drugs or alcohol are temporary fixes and can exacerbate the problem.

Meditation is helpful but stilling the anxious mind is difficult if it needs to be reprogrammed from negative mental habits.

The best thing is to talk to a competent counselor or psychologist who can help you uncover patterns which get you stuck. A real anxiety attack can cause someone to feel as if they are actually going to die. Some coping techniques suggest not resisting it but simply working through the fear and overwhelming emotion. But find someone who will help ease the stress and give you techniques while uncovering the sources. Distractions whether they be chemical-drugs, alcohol or behavioral- sex, rage do nothing to address nor eliminate the source.

sjmc1989's avatar

@RedPowerLady You might be right about that but I have been doing this so long I don’t know what the real source of worry would be and I don’t like to try and dig up things. So yeah your probably definitley right about that point.

@SeventhSense I don’t know if what I experince is a real anxiety attack, but they frequently happen at night and as I’m getting ready for bed I start worrying about worrying and having that feeling again which ultimately makes me have that feeling! Its a horrible and exhausting cycle

RedPowerLady's avatar

@sjmc1989 A counselor could help you dig those up safely. And there are counselors that work low-cost/sliding-scale.

In the meantime to manage your current anxiety, which is what this sounds like, the techniques listed above are all the same things suggesting for dealing with anxiety issues. You should try them to at least minimize the amount of worry you maintain until you can deal with the root issue.

If you want an extra boost of help there are some herbal anti-anxiety helpers that I could tell you about. They will not stop your worrying though, that is all psychological and needs to be dealt with psychologically. But they can take the edge off and help your body feel more relaxed.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I can wholeheartedly recommend seeking professional help and getting anti-anxiety medication, If it’s what you need, you feel entirely normal. Nothing else.

SeventhSense's avatar

@sjmc1989
No it doesn’t sound like it. Otherwise you might feel compelled to just start going somewhere in a panic. But please address it swea pea. Or I’m going to start worrying about you.
~Daddy Dearest

wundayatta's avatar

Meds, meds, meds, meds, meds. See a shrink. Or your internist. They’ll know what to do.

SeventhSense's avatar

^Pharmacology lobby^ ;)

Darwin's avatar

Xanax, Zoloft, and a wise psychologist are what worked for me.

SeventhSense's avatar

@uberbatman
Very cool. First the copy pasta and now this. Never even knew about the Theremin.

YARNLADY's avatar

In the immortal words of the TV psychologist Dr. Robert “Bob” Hartley (played by comedian Bob Newhart) “stop it”

Harrow185's avatar

Keep your self sane by being apart of a activity,talk to good friends about it,write it down and write possible answers to your problems?

augustlan's avatar

It definitely sounds like an anxiety disorder (including panic attacks). Get yourself in to see a therapist pronto. You will feel so much better. While there are many behavioral methods of easing anxiety, they don’t work for everyone. If it turns out you need to take meds, don’t hesitate to do so. Getting control of my anxiety issues is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Good luck sweetie!

Jeruba's avatar

[Removed by me—redundant point.]

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Aside from death, a serious illness or a death of a loved one, I have learned that most of my worries are futile and over-blown. ALways paint a mental picture of the ” worst possible scenario ” in the situation you are worried about and you will automatically adjust to it and be OKAY.Its amazing what your mind can do and you can learn to overcome your fears by facing them and knowing in advance that you are greatly exaggerating things…..AGAIN. Good luck.

Supacase's avatar

Seriously, talk to your doctor. If you have an anxiety problem, no amount of talking yourself out of it is going to work; it just makes you think about it more.

Your description sounds similar to what I went through a few years ago. I worried about driving on the interstate, falling down the stairs, whether or not my daughter would grow up to look my my mother-in-law (yes, it truly gets ridiculous!) I talked to my doctor who referred me to a psychiatrist. He put me on a low dose of anti-anxiety meds and my world looks very different now.

Get some help and give yourself a break. It is exhausting to worry so much.

YARNLADY's avatar

Here are some tips for getting to sleep.

hearkat's avatar

As I’ve read your additional comments, I agree with everyone that is recommending that you seek professional help. This is more than worrying if you feel like something’s wrong when you haven’t got something to worry about.

@RedPowerLady‘s suggestion that the worrying is in itself a distraction from other underlying concerns made a lot of sense regarding the times I had anxiety, and others I know with chronic anxiety.

NAMI.org is a valuable resource and can help you find counselors and physicians in your area that are qualified to help you through this. Good Luck!

Judi's avatar

I don’t usually give religious answers, but I can relate to what you’re asking so I am going to tell you what works for me. Take it or leave it, depending on your spiritual persuasion.

Philippians 4:6–7.Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

OpryLeigh's avatar

What do you generally worry about? I have GAD (generalised anxiety disoder) and I worry a lot too about specific things (I’m not willing to talk about my worries on here for everyone to read but I will quite happily talk to you in private if you would like). I have problems sleeping and over analyse EVERYTHING.

Although I am not practising what I am about to prah, I would recommend talking to a proffesional if you can although, I know how hard that is to do as I still can’t bring myself to see a councillor.

When I am worried I try to do the following things:

- Speak to someone I trust (there are only 3 people in the whole world that I trust so it’s not always easy)
– Take a nap (again this isn’t easy because if I am really woried then I can’t sleep but I find that if I do sleep then at least I am ot thinking about whatever it is that has got me worked up)
– Have a good cry (sometimes it releases tension)
– Take my dog for a walk, ride my horse or go for a drive (I am lucky that I have the option to do all of those things, I don’t know about your circumstances so I am aware that these may not be an option for you but the reason I find these help is because it gets me out so I am not stuck inside four walls)
– I use something called Rescue Remedy which helps calm me down, I would definately recommend that you check out there website www.rescueremedy.com

I hope I have been able to help little, I can understand what you are going through and, like I said, I am always happy to chat privately to anyone that is going through something similar to me.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Leanne1986 Rescue Remedy works for me as well.

mattbrowne's avatar

Read this book:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

Works wonders.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Excellent book Matt, read it many times. Its hard to believe the book was written so long ago and still applies today.

CMaz's avatar

By worrying. Actually, when I worry too much I remind myself that ,when I do worry too much it means, I am worrying about something I should not be.
Then all is good.

mattbrowne's avatar

@Mr_Callahan – The book is amazing. Yes, timeless. It really makes people stop worrying too much and appreciate all the blessings. I really like the part with the smiling blind man wondering about the grumpy man who could see passing him…

svladcjelli's avatar

I’ve struggled with an anxiety disorder my entire life. It’s caused me unbearable worrying, chronic insomnia and at times depression.

The best thing you can do is admit that you have a problem that you can’t fix yourself. Therapy helps but ultimately you have to decide what you think is best for you. If you want to get better, you will. It may take a long time though. Don’t lose hope! Being anxious does not make you any less brave.

sjmc1989's avatar

Thank you all very much for all of your comments and information it has helped me greatly! I’ve decided that I can’t deal with this by myself so Im making a doctor’s appointment first. Then eventually try to seek professional help I do not like to talk face to face to people about my issue’s I will try to work towards this though. Again thank you all from the bottom of my Heart!!
Lurve for everyone

YARNLADY's avatar

@sjmc1989 You are in my thoughts, and I wish you the best of luck.

SeventhSense's avatar

@Judi
Thanks for sharing some practical advice from the good book. Contrary to some voices, there is much of it to be had.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@sjmc1989 Talking to your doctor is an excellent first step.

If you are nervous about therapy because of not wanting to talk to someone face to face (which I completely understand) then you may want to look into a specific type of therapy called Hakomi. They work with such difficulties (as do all counselors but this one does so in a unique way).

Mr_Callahan's avatar

sjmc. ” All I need is someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright ”.

From: The Wedding Singer

augustlan's avatar

Lurve for getting help for our problems. <3

OpryLeigh's avatar

@RedPowerLady it’s great stuff, I also give it to my animals if they are getting stressed out (ie: if there is a thunder storm and my dogs are restless!)

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Leanne1986 Oh good note about the animals. We just had a thunderstorm yesterday and my poor pooch freaked out. I should have been on fluther to read this and I could have known to giver her some :)

Lorenita's avatar

I cant’s really help you with this.. since I have the same issue going on, It all started when I was 17 and went to college. I’m 25 now and it’s terrible. I worry about irrational things, or things that I’m afraid I might do in the future and have never done or definately feel like I won’t do, to the point that I’ve been physically ill. Generally it’s worst when I have too much free time or after going trough major stress. These are constant thoughts that keep me from enjoying life to the full like I should be doing right now, and that keep coming to my mind. I totally belive that I have developed a “brain bad habit” like a need to return to these thoughts. It’s awful, because I should be happy, I have all I ever wanted and accomplished all my goals, and still, I have to sabbotage myself…. and that’s not right.

windimera's avatar

Worry, for the most part is do the the environment we live in. The stresses of everyday life that conflict with our inner-self. What our inner self finds acceptable and unacceptable. It’s the things we hear or see. We do not necessarily have to remember but our subconscious mind does. It will replay in our dreams that we forget after waking or suddenly as deju. Our minds try to finds ways to accept what we feel..the sorrow, the hate, the love that doesn’t love us back…the joy at the simplest things. (a rainbow or a beautiful layered ground of snow) to narrow it now to a science so it does not conflict us any longer. Sometimes there are things that the subconscious can not work out by it self but later in the persons life as maturity sets in the subconscious lets you remember so you can figure it out for yourself and let go. I do not know what you worry about the most. However, to recognize a problem and try to fix it is one thing. To continually day and night think of the same thing until your sick is another. There is such a thing as recognition. A person must try to recognize what they are thinking about mostly then when something is tried to be forced into your mind. Go blank and tell yourself NO. I am not going there. It has been thought about. This is hard and sometimes slips in without you knowing. But once you do recognize then you can still say NO and through it out of your mind. For a person who has been weaken greatly from this and has no one to tell them how to deal with this then they are likely not to recover sooner than later. It is better to ask a doctor for some kind of anxiety medication and see how that helps you along with recognition techniques. I have been through anxiety and alot more. This has helped me the most.

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