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Swervy's avatar

How to meet new people?

Asked by Swervy (107points) August 30th, 2009

I want to walk down town on my own but I am too scared to go on my own. I wont go anywhere without my mum because I’m afraid that I’ll get bullied by our neighbours. Also if I see an attractive guy I dont know what to do when I want to walk on my own but when I see one I try to be something I’m not. It is very hard for me to just walk to the corner shop. I have had this dissabillity all my life. Please help me give me some help.

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6 Answers

rebbel's avatar

You can consider to go to a dog-training course.
It helps you with your previous question and has the extra benefit that you’ll be around new people, people who you’ll have something in common with to begin with.

whatthefluther's avatar

Adding to @rebbel‘s suggestion: if there are dog parks where you live, they are great places to meet new people who share a love of dogs. See ya….Gary aka wtf

teh_kvlt_liberal's avatar

Definitely not on the internet!
So get up and GO OUTSIDE
EDIT: Sorry I was so insensitive, I didn’t read the details :(. But definitely not on the internet. Maybe school?

aprilsimnel's avatar

Please stop putting these people on pedestals. You are worth something as much as they are. Your life will go the same way it’s always gone until you love yourself. That’s what’s at issue here. Find some way to learn to love yourself, even if that means seeing a therapist or talking to someone who is a good friend.

You must change the way you think about yourself as well as change your behavior towards yourself. Whenever you want to say something crappy in your head about who you are, ask yourself, “Would I say this to (my best friend)?” I’ll bet the answer is “No.” Why not? Becuase you love your best friend. You cut them a break and give them some slack becuase they’re human, and regardless of mistakes or quirks, you care for them and like them as they are. You must learn how to treat yourself with the same regard.

I know of no attractive people who want to be with someone who dislikes themselves. Bullies pick on people who go around with that air of self-hatred, becuase such people are easy targets. It’s good that you’re reaching out for help. See if there’s a place in your area where there’s groups or professionals who can help you learn to care for yourself emotionally. And get a copy of this book, Feeling Good, by David Burns. It will help you change your irrational thoughts about yourself. Good luck.

And yes, go outside. Get some exercise. It’s good for your emotional as well as physical health.

JLeslie's avatar

Have your neighbors bullied you previously? Are you afraid of being attacked if you are on your own, or are you just anxious in general and can’t put your finger on it? I think you need to practice. Can you plan to go into town and maybe be on the phone with a friend or a parents while you do it, so you feel more comfortable. Kind of take little steps exposing yourself to situations that frighten you? As you see that nothing bad happens, you will have less anxiety doing it. If you are interested in possibly going to a therapist there is a lot of success with exposure therapy. You would want to seek a therapist who specializes in phobias and social anxieties, sounds like you might be slightly agoraphobic. You are not alone, a lot of people feel like you. I think it is great that you want to overcome it.

If you are very young, under 15, I think many people grow out of these feelings as they get older and feel more control over their environment and their lives.

efritz's avatar

I sometimes have this problem too. I don’t have any earth-shattering advice, but I like to listen to my MP3 player while I’m walking around to give me something else to concentrate on other than my own self-consciousness.

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