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timtrueman's avatar

Hypothetically, how would you survive a robot uprising?

Asked by timtrueman (5744points) February 6th, 2010

What supplies would be handy to be stocked up on?

What tools would be useful to disable or reprogram the robots?

How, when and why will this uprising occur?

What types of robots will I have to worry about?

What percent chance would you peg on surviving?

Who will win in the end?

Inspired by Daniel Wilson.

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39 Answers

Dog's avatar

One tool: Fire hose.

No need to re-program.

Recycle remains.

We win.
Time for a party.

phoebusg's avatar

I would prefer it if it was the cylons, then I’d simply make out with one and make it fall in love with me. Sex my way to freedom :P

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would use my mother-in-law as a weapon for she would inflict great harm upon those sassy robots ;)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I would help them along – my husband and I have been discussing AI for the past 2 days in quite the detail and have come to the conclusion that perfectly logical or perfectly emotional and logical beings that we’d create would infer that humanity is a threat to itself, something, perhaps, to contain or to destroy for the sake of the planet – and I always found this to be a plausible end to us.

phoenyx's avatar

Self-removed for linking the same video Tim did in his question

Tenpinmaster's avatar

Well simply a portible electomagnetic pulse generator would be the ultimate weapon! Perhaps a dampening field device would keep anything technology based down for the count. For Hand to hand combat you would definatly need a gun with armor piercing rounds, preferably explosive tips to disable the robots. For shelter you would need a structure that would block all RF transmissions and scatter all radar. An iron fort with copper wire mesh on the outside would do best.

Spinel's avatar

1. Shut off the electicity.
2. Live in a boat house.
3. Get my handy dandy solar powered armored helicopter…

rangerr's avatar

I’d be going to your house.
That cool? Good. Thanks in advance for saving me from robots.
I hope you have a plan.

Cruiser's avatar

Unleash an entire elementary school of kids on them and tell them there are prizes inside…they wouldn’t stand a chance.

rovdog's avatar

It might be happening

http://www.thelocal.se/19120.html

First man killed by a robot was in 1971, let me look for that link.

Personally, I think robots will be friendly, so no need.

Check out Sam Brown’s work. He’s awesome I think.

http://www.explodingdog.com/

Jeruba's avatar

If we are assuming that they don’t obey the Three Laws of Robotocs (and of course we should all hope they do), then I believe I would point the zombies at ‘em and get out of the way.

VohuManah's avatar

Just inject some Vundo into their mainframes. After they stop soliciting anti-virus software, we will be free.

LethalCupcake's avatar

I think its gonna happen Matrix style, robots are givin they’re own conciousness and tell us were crazy :P
I believe i would stockpile Tasers, as the electricity generated would fry electronics, and its not hard to make your own homemade EMP generator

Bluefreedom's avatar

What supplies would be handy to be stocked up on? Lots of snack food because it could be a long fight and you’re bound to get hungry at some point.

What tools would be useful to disable or reprogram the robots? Portable Defibrillator Units to short circuit the robots.

How, when and why will this uprising occur? After we all survive the 2012 end of the world scare and after Skynet goes ape shit and messes everything up.

What types of robots will I have to worry about? Everything from Terminators to those cute little gadgets found in the movie Batteries Not Included.

What percent chance would you peg on surviving? About 89.3%

Who will win in the end? Humans are at the top of the food chain now and they still will be after the robot wars have concluded. Don’t worry, Hollywood has a movie script for something like this already prepared.

ragingloli's avatar

By collaborating with our new metallic overlords. I would support them with all my might and passion. Purge the organic humanoid infection!

DominicX's avatar

I don’t know, they’d be tough to beat. They’d use poisonous gases and poison our asses (actually our lungs). Instead of saying “yes”, we’d all have to say “affirmative”. Then of course, by killing humans because of their destructive tendencies, they too will have become destructive.

Anyone get this reference?

rovdog's avatar

When I think about probably our own reliance on robots will be the real threat. If our food production, electricity, shelter, protections, rely on robots and they suddenly stop performing the expected tasks they might cause our society to collapse without really doing much. You don’t have to attack us if you can make food scare and the price of food or energy to skyrocket- collapsing economies and human nature will cause us to destroy ourselves. It might be a robot apocalypse if the robots just get really lazy.

phoenyx's avatar

@DominicX flight of the conchords

DominicX's avatar

@phoenyx haha…yes. Love Flight of the Conchords.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

With water, very simple. Once the robots are under control you can re-program them to
run the State of California. We need some logical thinkers in this State.

rottenit's avatar

we can hide all of the WD40

timtrueman's avatar

1. Crowbar.
2. Magnets. Lots of them. They screw up sensors and memory like nobody’s business.
3. Sources of radiation. Unless a processor is being sent into space it usually isn’t radiation hardened.
4. Incendiaries. Molotov cocktails for instance…unless there’s careful temperature calibration inertial navigation systems are extremely vulnerable to ambient temperature changes. Gyros and accelerometers alike.
5. Guns. It’s going to be impossible to armor all the robot’s sensors and this would be an easy way to take them out.
6. Water (as @Dog suggested) or a taser. Anything that can short-circuit or ruin the electronics would work pretty well.
7. Laptop, soldering iron, wires, oscilloscope. Reprogramming would be difficult but who knows.
8. Protect natural resource sites such as lithium, galium, and uranium. Anything to prevent robots from building energy sources (batteries, solar panels and nuclear power respectively).
9. Oil or anything to make it difficult to open doors, walk or run after me.
10. John Connor.
11. Surround myself with slower, less fit people? Kidding…

phoenyx's avatar

I depends entirely on what types of robots. However, in general I would:

1. Take out/confuse their sensors.
2. Immobilize them
3. Destroy them

timtrueman's avatar

Actually, who am I kidding? I would build my own fleet of robots that could wipe out the uprising robots.

rangerr's avatar

@timtrueman Yep, I’m coming to you when this happens. Prepare the cheesecake.

Qingu's avatar

If it comes down to it we won’t survive. Robots can make it into space way, way easier than we meatbag humans can and having the “high ground” in orbit is basically the death-knell for your opponents. They could just drop chunks of stuff onto our cities from their spaceships and it would have the same effect as nukes. They could also just drop stuff onto whatever rockets or nuclear missiles we try to fire up at them.

They’d also presumably take out, or over, our internet, GPS system, and other forms of communication. I would not want to live in a world where we have to fight the robots.

My plan is to try to join them, ideally by uploading my consciousness into a robot body, and hope I can convince my fiancée to come along too.

Mozart's avatar

A robot uprising? Whatever happened to those three laws of robotics?

life_after_2012's avatar

I guess that means that i would need to some how acquire a pair of robot legs to increase my ability to run fast. My next priority would be to decide weither or not sacrificing my fleshy, meaty arms for a pair robots arms equipted with gatling guns and mortor rounds are really necessary or i could paint my body some kind of metalic color and just hold on to some giant robots arm or leg and hope they don’t see me like arnold schwarzenegger in preditor.

IBERnineD's avatar

@timtrueman Seems like you have everything figured out! I’m bad at surviving uprisings, I scream too much.

aphilotus's avatar

It’s OK, they would never go after me because I don’t take a lot of pills.

filmfann's avatar

I would employ the James T. Kirk Convoluted Logic method, which sucessfully talked to death Landru, V-Ger, and a dozen other computers. That man would have been the ultimate weapon against the Borg.

belakyre's avatar

Pretend to be a robot?

galileogirl's avatar

You mean like attack of the Roombas? I would turn off the power and go to the movies until their batteries ran down.

rovdog's avatar

I’m wondering if you need the “hypothetically” at the beginning of this question.

rovdog's avatar

If Roombas attacked I would just make the floor really dirty.

rottenit's avatar

If its killer roombas all we need to do is design everything so it sits about 4 inches off the ground, they will all get stuck like mine does.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. A robot uprising would never happen. The moment the govenment got wind of it the area would be evacuated and nuked or some EMP based weapon would be used to starve the machines of power.

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