General Question

zenvelo's avatar

What's the best way to atone for a lie?

Asked by zenvelo (33567points) March 30th, 2010

I said I’d get tickets to a show my girlfriend had her heart set on seeing. I procrastinated and then it was sold out. I wasn’t able to get any from a scalper or at the box office, and finally ‘fessed up.

She was disappointed at missing the show, but rightfully angry at my deceit. Any suggestions on making amends?

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18 Answers

janbb's avatar

Saying you’re sorry again at a nice restaurant meal wouldn’t go amiss.

Exhausted's avatar

If you finally told the truth and ask for forgiveness, there really isn’t much else you can do except to not let it happen again. Once trust is violated, only time will prove that it is not a reoccurring event. Trust is earned. The next time an opportunity presents to give her something you know she will like, do something nice for her to show you are sorry and assure her it won’t happen again.

rebbel's avatar

Promise her (and mean it) that you’ll do anything to never let a thing like that happen again.
Obviously, keep the promise.

susanc's avatar

“Deceit”? You said you’d do something and failed. That’s not lying. It’s laziness.
And I don’t think you have to buy her anything to pay her to forgive you.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

You promised and couldn’t deliver. That’s what’s sticking here.
Promises suck and and even a truckload of them isn’t worth a thing if they’re never delivered.
Best bet: Do better next time.

wonderingwhy's avatar

For future reference, don’t tell people you “will” do something unless you know you can. Tell them you’ll “try” – you’ll save yourself a world of hurt.

As to making amends, make sure she knows you’ve learned your lesson: Next time you say you’ll do something for her don’t wait till the last minute. That should be enough.

ratboy's avatar


Val123's avatar

What @wonderingwhy. Why did you even promise? Were you trying to impress her? It bombed. And I hope you learned a lesson. If that is a habit of yours, I guarantee you you’ll lose relationships left and right.

phillis's avatar

You made the mistake, and now you have to eat it. I made a mistake just a few weeks ago that I am having to live with, just as you are now. Since people have a range of choices in how they handle it, some mistakes cannot be corrected. Please don’t make it a pattern of behavior. If you can do that, the situation will correct itself.
by the way, I appreciate that you did not employ any excuse for your behavior. That was excellent.

phillis's avatar

@Trillian Damn, that felt great! Thank you :)

Val123's avatar

@What @phillis said! jumping on the bandwagon here…

phillis's avatar

@Val123 Where have you been, baby girl? I’ve missed you!

Val123's avatar

@phillis Workin’ man! I don’t Fluther after 5 or on weekends. Hubby’s out of town for tonight tho. :)

Bluefreedom's avatar

Own up to it and tell the truth. This a tried and true method for coming clean when you’re guilty of something.

Pandora's avatar

If shes the type of girl who has her heart set on something every other week than you have a chance at redemption. If shes like me and only has her heart set on something once every two years or so, then your up a creek. She’ll probably forgive you but trusting you will be a whole other ball game. Best thing you can do is try to remember something that seemed important to her but you two never got around to doing and do it. It will show her you care enough to one, make amends and two, that you are paying attention to details of what is important to her. If she said that she would like to someday go on a picnic on the beach and go for a romantic walk. Then pack a picnic with her favorite food and take her for that romantic walk on a beautiful warm day.

flo's avatar

That wasn’t a lie though. And you apologized. Take her to another show as a surprise.

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