Social Question

Rangie's avatar

Some people say "Life isn't fair", what does that mean to you?

Asked by Rangie (3667points) April 9th, 2010

I think life is what you make it.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

50 Answers

Jude's avatar

Sometimes you’re dealt a shitty hand. You do your best..

anartist's avatar

It isn’t. So what else is new?

Thammuz's avatar

“Life isn’t fair”: you don’t necessarily get what you deserve, you don’t necessarily succeed only because you put effort into it.

davidbetterman's avatar

Life is quite fair. People aren’t fair.

CMaz's avatar

It is a figure of speech that combines normally contradictory terms.

Life is fair. As there is a balance to all things.

We just hate when it does not work out the way WE want it to.

Don’t forget, it also sucks and then you die.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Lots of people want to and will blame everyone and everything for any event they perceive as bad that befalls them. Sometimes all they have left to blame is life itself because even then they still can’t face that it might be their actions/choices/decisions that have left them where they are.

Other times people just use it as a general gripe to express dissatisfaction over their inability to get their way.

J0E's avatar

To me it means life isn’t gonna give you everything you want, you have to work to get those things. Sometimes you might say “life isn’t fair” because the thing you want is realyy hard to obtain. Life is what you make it. Corny but true.

nicobanks's avatar

Life isn’t fair because people don’t necessarily get what they deserve. Goodness isn’t always rewarded and badness isn’t always punished.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Doing good by others doesn’t mean nothing bad will happen to you.

Getting good grades doesn’t guarantee you a free ride to college.

Being diligent with birth control doesn’t mean you still won’t get pregnant.

Healthy living doesn’t always counteract genetics.

Your fidelity doesn’t guarantee or earn your partner’s.

AIDS can happen to anyone.

Cancer can happen to anyone.

You can meet the person of your dreams too late to be the one to have made a family with them.

Being smart doesn’t buy you respect or riches.

partyparty's avatar

I suppose it’s how people perceive life ie ‘Is my glass half full or is my glass half empty’.

Exhausted's avatar

Whether or not life is fair is an individual perception. Personally, I see the comment to be whining. Your perception is your reality, so if I don’t like my life, I work on my perception

Blackberry's avatar

It means pretty much the same thing globally. It can pertain to certain situations of course, but the saying is pretty self-explanatory. No one is exempt.

filmfann's avatar

Some are born to gold and riches
Some are born to ho’s and bitches
Some eat well and gain some weight
Some have none and grow with hate.

Some have homes so fine and plush
Some have no toilets that will flush
Some are unhappy with their hair
Just deal with it, cause Life’s not fair.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It means that sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Rangie's avatar

@jjmah Who is dealing this bad hand? Or is it just the way things are, and it is our challenge to do something about it?
I have tried to figure out how “Life ” has the ability to do good or bad things. Instead of saying “life isn’t fair” for me it would be more to the point to say “nobody said it would be easy”.

Rangie's avatar

@nicobanks , You say goodness isn’t always rewarded. And badness isn’t always punished. You are right about that. But, hopefully the purpose of our goodness isn’t propelled for the sake of a reward. Maybe the reward is there but we fail to recognize it. Sometimes the reward for goodness is self-satisfaction. As for the badness not always being punished. Right again. And some innocent are being punished. I think all of these things have reasons of which we may or may not ever know.

evandad's avatar

I think they’ve probably been on the losing end of random chance, and I think “Life is what you make it” is a silly cliche.

Jude's avatar

@Rangie I have a 30 year old cousin who has Spina Bifida (paralyzed from the waist down), he had his penis chewed off by the family dog (No joke. When he was younger, the dog could smell baby powder, chewed through his diaper (my cousin didn’t feel a thing) and chewed off most of his penis. It had to be amputated), he also isn’t able to use his left hand, has recently lost his sight and has been in the hospital most of his life.

Dealt a shitty hand, yet, he has the best sense of humor. Dry, funny sense of humor and never wants you to feel sorry for him.

There you go.

netgrrl's avatar

Life can be pretty random. Control is an illusion. We don’t have it. Not over our bodies, what others do, chance events. We do the best we can with what we’ve got but there are no guarantees.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yes, sometimes bad things do happen to good people. Perhaps a higher power has a reason. Maybe that bad thing that happens will open up and avenue for thought for that person to find a way to help prevent it from happening to someone else. Like John Walsh.

Scooby's avatar

Life is as fair as the vote we make!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie I don’t believe in a higher power. I do think some doors open others though – however I also believe in access and knowledge and how certain people don’t have either simply because of gender, race or class. I deal with people on a daily basis that have horrible things happen to them because of cancer and because insurance companies are the work of the devil (I don’t believe in the devil either, but you know what I mean). It’s good to take control of your life, sometimes, if you know what you’re doing. They are blind in this fragmented field of health care (and some are literally blind and illiterate) and there is a reason my job is in place and that is NOBODY is helping them navigate something during a very vulnerable time – they don’t know where to start even if they want to.

LuckyGuy's avatar

It means you are about to be screwed.

CMaz's avatar

There is no bad.

There is just a process with an outcome.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Neizvestnaya – Thank you for reminding me of that. It is a wake up call to have it rubbed in once in a while!

nicobanks's avatar

@Rangie Yes, yes… but none of that has to do with why I think life is “unfair.” If life was fair, good people would be living the good life – they don’t (not necessarily, anyway), so it isn’t. Of course there’s more to say about the concepts of good, bad, reward, so on and so forth – but that’s a bit of another subject, isn’t it? Or maybe I’m missing your overall point here? Maybe you’re suggesting that life may be fair, we just don’t know exactly how? Well, I disagree with that – if we’re talking about individuals, anyway. Maybe life is fair in the grand scheme of things, but not for individuals. 100 ants are killed protecting an ant hill which supports thousands of lives and represents hundreds of thousands of future lives… well, what’s fair for the community isn’t fair for those 100 individuals, is it? They’re dead, and if what I believe is true, dead means dead: their lives as individuals are over. You say everything has a reason, we just may not know it – fine, I’d believe that. But how does that speak to your question?

Cruiser's avatar

Aside from the obvious death, destruction or financial ruin, for me it revolves around relationships and meeting people you wish were around earlier in your life. ;)

Rangie's avatar

@jjmah That is a very sad story. God bless your cousin.
With that said, you say he has a great sense of humor, dry, funny sense of humor. He never wants you to feel sorry for him. You may believe it or not, but his life has a real purpose, and maybe you can take a lesson from him. Make the best of what we have to work with and be happy.

DominicX's avatar

It means that chance and Fortune and her wheel sometimes result in more or less “random” bad events happening to a person who has done nothing to deserve them.

However, it doesn’t mean to me “life sucks overall”. Not at all. Life does not suck overall and that is what sets me apart from other people. That is what makes me an “optimist”. :)

Rangie's avatar

@nicobanks Life is what it is. The big question is, what are you going to do about it? Life isn’t a thing that goes around choosing people to make miserable. Life isn’t an entity that can do anything. Each persons life is what it is, but we all have the opportunity to make it better. Some might need major help doing that, but the helper is also improving their own life by doing that. Even disabled persons are very happy, believe it or not.
Have you ever hear the statement “shit happens”. Well, it does, and we can just let it happen and do nothing, or we can make the best of our situation and do something about it. THERE YOU GO!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Usually if someone says “Life isn’t fair” to me it means, “Shut up, quit bitching, and get back to work.”

Or something equally comforting.

Silhouette's avatar

They are either realest or whiners depending on how often and how pitifully they say it.

nicobanks's avatar

@Rangie Why do I get the impression that this isn’t a straightforward, sincere question, but is, in fact, a grab? You’ve used my posts not to engage with me, but as a platform for yourself, no? I’m all for philosophical conversations, but this thread has the taste of soap-box to it.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, They have you, and others like you. It takes all sorts of things to bring out the best in us, maybe this is yours. I believe everything is connected in one way or another. Yes, I also believe some people are not given the advantages because of gender, race or class. The question here is what are those people going to do about it? Are they going to just let it happen or at least stand up and try to do something about it. Those are the very people that will change things in this world.
I believe everyone should try to take control of their life, after all it is their life and their choices. They may not reach what they thought they might, but at least they are trying.
As for insurance companies, Organized Mafia. That is all I can think to say about them.
My mother had a brain tumor at an early age. She went through surgery with less than a 20% chance of survival. She made it through and lived another 25 years. She was disabled, but found a way to not only make herself happy, but those around her were happy.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie Some people can’t find inspiration – they’ve given up – it is personality dependent but I don’t hold it against them. Sometimes the stars (and I am speaking metaphorically) have to align before a person can gain clarity. And some people don’t want to live – that is their choice.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Hopefully for those that can’t find inspiration, someone will come into their lives and change that for them. I think it is our nature to survive, and in order to do that we need hope. Maybe some people are too lazy to get up off of their butt and live. They have a way of finding excuses that sound acceptable to others.
I am sure there are personality dependent people, who would benefit from group therapy, so they can hear what they sound like.
I can’t imagine not wanting to live. Maybe some people say that because they need something very important, that is missing in their life.
I myself can sit here and feel sorry for myself, but I can’t stand self pity or pity of any kind. I don’t feel I was deal a bad hand, it’s just what it is, and now I find the best way to deal with it and be happy. This is the only life I get to have here on earth, and by God I am going to make it the best I can for myself. That is my job, not yours, not my family, not anybodies, but mine.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie Okay, well some people aren’t there yet – where you are…people don’t spend time on self-realization and self-introspection usually…they were never encouraged to do either so how would they learn.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That is a good question. Maybe that is something some of us can find an answer to. Of course, it would have to begin in each community. Maybe find a counselor that would be willing to do some gratis work. I know my doctor in the last community where I lived took 2 weeks and donated his time to help those in need.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie I am doing a work of 10 social workers – social workers these ‘good’ hospitals refuse to hire for their patients. You think, in these forsaken communities, there are people willing to do gratis work – it’s very rare.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I would hope there are a few humanitarians left. Maybe we need to put out the call and see what happens.

PacificToast's avatar

Even if you work hard, you’re not guaranteed the success.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Rangie Well that’s neither here nor there – there are many of us that care among many more who don’t.

Berserker's avatar

If people have time to bitch, then they’re probably not that bad off, which tells me that those who say life isn’t fair and other assorted business are probably just having a fit because they’re not getting their way.

But that doesn’t mean life is fair…do I really need to conjure examples, like starving children, war torn countries, sexually abused children, poverty, here and far away.
Most of those people are too busy trying not to die to bitch about some annoying co worker or imagine that everyone owes them everything on a silver platter.
Thing is, I never hear ’‘life ain’t fair’’ adhering to anything beyond someone being picky and whiny.

Meribast's avatar

A lot of very good answers. Personally, I never have said this in the sense that I’m whining about something. It was said to me when I was in the Army when I expected a result from hard work that wasn’t forthcoming to me but went to someone that was liked but neither smart nor hard working. An eye opener at the time, but quite the truism, as I had been taught that hard work, skill and talent would always be rewarded over the opposite. If I didn’t receive the reward it was always because I hadn’t worked as hard as I needed to.

So I find myself saying this to others not as a result of my actions toward someone else but as the simple truism that it is. As an aside, I mention the only fair they may expect is the county one (county fair).

I have had more than my share of bad happen to me (as observed by others). My answer to that is usually “and?” I look at these challenges now that seemingly have nothing to do with cause and effect by my own actions, as choices that result from my pre-existing soul waiting to reincarnate like a form of lottery the more negative circumstances I bid to happen to me in my life, the more chances I have at reincarnating sooner than someone who bids only positive things. Without all the negative things, I would not even feel the wind in my hair or the sun on my cheek. I would be mental energy only able to remember and reflect and communicate with others in the same condition, souls in a vast waiting place, remembering life and sensation. I no longer believe in karma as something that is a result of one’s own actions in the sense of a byproduct, but more of as a direct result of choices that my soul made. I also believe that there are good and evil factions of us. We come into the world hoping to pursue these agenda but often getting caught up in the minutia of sensation or circumstance because we forget why we came back. Some ARE here for that sensation and what they can get at the expense of another specifically and these I would classify as evil. I understand them but I try not to be like them. I’m pretty sure that someone else reading this may think I’m way out there but I since this came to me I find it much easier to deal with bad circumstances or the bad that others do to me as my choice and is empowering rather than look at as impersonal fate and chance or as the design of some uncaring or even malevolent being greater than myself. Life is as fair as I’ve chosen it to be for me.

As an aside, when Nancy Kerrigan got whacked on the knee by Jeff Gillooly(sp?) and screamed “Why me?” I immediately felt that was so egotistical, as if someone else should have taken her place in getting injured? ‘Ike why not you as opposed to someone else, not that anyone should be purposely injured by anyone but why put it off onto someone else? When something bad happens to me that I may not have chosen, perhaps I save someone else the pain and suffering who could not bear it whereas I can.

I AM one of those people that had wished to die in the past and tried to bring that about when I had enough energy. I was brought up with the idea that I was never good enough to be loved, that whatever I did just wasn’t good enough, that somehow if I was perfect I could be loved. Rude shocker when the realization set in that no matter what I did I wasn’t going to be loved by my parents the way I wanted to be, they just weren’t capable and I just couldn’t be perfect. Oh well, the physical and emotional abuse aside, I lived through it and gained empathy for others despite my low self esteem. I’m working on valuing myself enough to the point where I take care of myself as best I can to try to help other living things that will let me help them. Tried with people but that was way to frustrating as the population I was given to work with preferred to be enabled rather than helped. Now I choose to work with animals, which for me is more rewarding emotionally and I help the the stray person as I can, I just don’t make a vocation of it.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I find the phrase to be self explanatory.
Shit happens. You gotta deal.
“Fair” is not a force of nature.

Rangie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Then I would say, those of who care will do what we can, and those who don’t care, are responsible for themselves. Maybe they have something else equally important that they are doing.

anartist's avatar

And of course, this summation that has gone the rounds:
* Taoism: Shit happens
* Shintoism – You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
* Confucianism: Confucius say “Shit happens.”
* Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit
* Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
* Hinduism: This shit happened before
* Islam: If shit happens, it’s the will of Allah
* Nation of Islam – Don’t take no shit.
* Sikhism – Leave our shit alone
* Capitalism – This is MY shit.
* Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough
* Stoicism: This shit is good for me
* Christian Science: Shit is only in your mind
* Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays
* Scientology – If shit happens, see Dianetics. p. 137
* Hare Krishna: Shit happens, shit happens, happens happens, shit happens
* Shintoism – You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
* Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit
* Existentialism: What is shit, anyway?
* Existential Nihilism: Shit happens and then you die
* Atheism: I don’t believe this shit

thriftymaid's avatar

Just what it says.

mattbrowne's avatar

That I’m so fortunate to live in a very rich country while there are so many poor folks in Sierra Leone, Niger, Eritrea, the Central African Republic and Somalia.

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