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Scarlett's avatar

Why do I start crying when I get really angry ?

Asked by Scarlett (915points) October 2nd, 2010

I just noticed when I get really really angry, I start crying like crazy, what’s too this ? Does it mean I can’t handle my emotions well ?

Like today I got into an arguement with my boyfriend, and I felt in so much pain, and anger – I started crying because I was so frustrated and didn’t know what to do about it.

I cry because I feel the anger is too intense, and I don’t know how to release it or what to do.

Does anyone know why this happens ?

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17 Answers

JilltheTooth's avatar

If this didn’t happen before, I would chalk it up to pregnancy. Your body is reacting to everything more intensely, and frustration crying is just part of it. I did that, too. Made me nuts.

tranquilsea's avatar

The display of anger, especially with girls, is culturally suppressed too often whereas crying is acceptable.

MissAnthrope's avatar

This happens to me, too. I’m probably more likely to cry because I’m angry and/or frustrated than I am because I’m sad. I’ve kind of wondered this question myself.

I think it has to do with being overwhelmed with emotion and not knowing what to do with it. Like @tranquilsea said, it’s not acceptable to explode at people, plus I have a really hard time getting my feelings into words, especially in the heat of the moment. I’m like a freaking little kid that you tell “use your words”.. sometimes I can’t and I just rage and cry.

Marva's avatar

this is so healthy, it’s almost funny you ask a question about it..
In hebrew they say tears are the gift of women… That’s becasue that’s just the job of crying, it helps us release our emoions. Crying is cleansing, and just when you get overflowed with emotion is the time to release it. A lot of people have a problem crying, and they suffer from it, they feel like hey can’t release their emotions this way and they close down. Your mechanism is just so healthy, it works on it’s own:) Don’t you feel much better after crying? like you cleaned everything out and can now address the problem without being emotional about it? That’s the job of a good cry….

Trillian's avatar

You used the key word yourself; Frustration. Being unable to communicate with your SO is frustrating and that emotion can cause tears. But realize that anger is generally a secondary emotion which is easier to cope with than the primary one which is fear. What frequently happens during an argument is your rising level of frustration at being unable to make the other person see how you feel results in fear. Fear that you will never be able to see eye to eye, fear that you will not be able to stay together, and if you are pregnant, that fear extends now to your baby; Will I be able to have a family with this baby’s father? The fear of not being able to work things out is overpowering and anger as a secondary emotion is easeir to face psychologically.
This is why couples therapy is so important. The therapist is not there to take sides, but to give you both tools to communicate better. Failure to communicate properly is big reason that people do not stay together.
That and getting together for the wrong reasons in the first place.

muppetish's avatar

Whenever I feel any intense emotion (especially those that are negative in quality: sorrow, anger, frustration) I cannot help crying. It’s my body’s physical reaction and I have no qualms with permitting those feelings and responses to flow through me. As @Marva mentions, this is a healthy response. I don’t think it is anything you should feel overly concerned about.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

It’s better than throwing things.
Watch a good interesting movie to take your mind off of it, if you can. Are you still crying?
aw hugs and more hugs.

MissAusten's avatar

I cry when I get very mad too, and since I hate to cry it makes me more angry and then I cry more. I feel so sorry for my husband! Once I start to cry, it takes a good long time before I’m not set off again by every little thing. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.

I think it’s perfectly normal, unless it’s so extreme that you are always crying, can’t stop, or seem to react that way to things that maybe don’t warrant that much emotion or attention. If it interferes with your life or causes problems with relationships, it might be something to talk to your doctor about. Otherwise, just ride it out, give yourself some time alone to calm down, and try talking to your boyfriend again when both of you aren’t feeling so emotional.

mickhock's avatar

Crying is probably ones last defence before physically striking out,may be some sort of safety net .

everephebe's avatar

When I was young, right before I would beat up the group of kids trying to bully me, I would cry. Right before the fight I would tear up. It wasn’t sadness it was anger. I don’t know why, but if you can cry tears of joy then I think anger tears exist too.

shadling21's avatar

This happens to me. I think it’s because I don’t know what to do with my anger and I hate feeling angry at someone. Maybe it’s a good thing we cry out of anger?

perspicacious's avatar

A lot of people do; no worries.

Gamrz360's avatar

Its normal, I do it sometimes too.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I cry angry tears also. It’s pretty common I guess. I also shake uncontrollably.

MrsDufresne's avatar

I used to do this (and sometimes I still do).

It used to be very often, over things that could be worked out without all the intensity. During this time, I was unaware that I had a estrogen deficiency.

I have since been to the doctor, and my hormone levels have been properly adjusted.

Now, when I cry and get angry, it is much less frequently, about things that are quite serious that loved one’s and I disagree about. Things that I still, do not understand.

Jabe73's avatar

I used to do this alot more when I was a kid. There are times even now however when I get so ticked off I have to hold myself back from tearing. It’s strange, I do not know how crying and anger are related for some people (not just girls) but it must mean you are really angry.

Frenchfry's avatar

Overwhelm with emotion. I do it in sadness, overjoyed, and anger. You don’t know what to do with it . Sometimes comes out in tears. I cry at wedding. (overjoyed) Sad part of the movie( (have alot of empathy). Be mad. ( Now that is pissed off , kinda don’t know what to do with the anger).Some are good at showing emotion. Some just let it fly. I let it fly. I am woman. Woman are tend to not old back when it comes to emotion.

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