Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Heterosexuals, how intimately do you touch people of the same sex?

Asked by wundayatta (58357 points ) April 19th, 2012

Are there ostensibly non-sexual situations in your life where you find yourself intimately touching a person of the same sex? What are these situations? What goes on in your mind as the touch gets more intimate?

Do you battle with yourself? Do you tell yourself this doesn’t mean anything? Do you stop yourself from getting anywhere near that point of uncomfortableness?

What goes on inside your head? Can you transcend social or personal restrictions and go with it as a non-sexual thing that merely seems sexual? Do you find a way to incorporate the sexual nature of the touch and be ok with it without worrying about others’ perceptions or even your own perceptions?

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17 Answers

digitalimpression's avatar

No or N/A to all.

Charles's avatar

Intimately? No. Also, When you write “intimate” I read “sexual”. Perhaps you want to rephrase that. I can touch another guy in a positive way (high five for example, shake hands, back slap, even a big hug).
I don’t battle with myself.
I don’t get to that point because I have no desire to go there? (If you’re asking, pretend instead of same sex, it is being “intimate” with animals…..you understand now?)

Tuesday, I was playing basketball during lunch and while waving my arms in defense I accidentally slapped someone in the face….I apologized and slapped him a couple times on the back to reinforce I was sincere in my apology.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

My own opinion is that no heterosexual person would think of contact with a member of the same sex as “sexual.” I hug my female friends, grab their arm, put my arm around them, maybe my hand on their shoulder, but NEVER thought anything sexual. When I was in my 20’s, it was not unusual for my female friends and I to all crash in the same bed, and still nothing sexual. I certainly didn’t have an internal “battle”. A person would have to have a supressed desire before that would ever happen, and a truly heterosexual person would not have that desire on any level.

Seek's avatar

I’m not prone to close contact with anyone until I’ve had a martini or two. I tend to like my personal space, and respect that of other people.

However, when I drink I get giggly and cuddly. In that case, I’ll cuddle anyone who doesn’t whack me off with a stick. No internal battle. I just love you, man, sooooooo much!

nikipedia's avatar

I’m pretty touchyfeely. I don’t really give it a second thought. Then again, I’m not the most heterosexual heterosexual out there.

Coloma's avatar

I hug my female friends all the time, but there is zero sexual thought attached. I also make it a point to really be present with the hug, whoever it is, not just a quickie rote gesture, but to actually hug for 20–30 seconds and be fully involved in the hugging process. My daughter and I also exchange massages and we are very comfortable with it. Probably because I was very touchy with her as a child and gave her nightly back rubs.

josie's avatar

When you say intimate, I assume you mean touching genitals affectionately or open mouth kissing.
Answer -I don’t.

Trillian's avatar

Nothing man. Nothing is going on. I have spontaneous bursts of affection for people. They say or do something I find funny or endearing and I’ll express my affections with a hug, or a hand squeeze, a kiss on the cheek or head, or something verbal.
Sex does not enter into the equation.
Touch does not constitute sex every time. Probably not even most of the time. Life is ever so much more than sex. Being able to enjoy the company and fellowship of another person without sex being part of the equation is something, I believe, that most of take for granted.
I would think it would be tiresome to always be thinking about sex in the terms that you describe.

Blackberry's avatar

A hand on the back if I like the person, which is sparingly.

wundayatta's avatar

I was thinking of body to body contact, like hugging. To me, that is intimate, although obviously that is not the case for everyone.

serenade's avatar

I do it based on comfort level with the other person. Gay friends of mine, I’ll hug as if I’m hugging a woman (or something towards that). Straight friends, kind of depends on the guy, but I’m open to most whatever so long as it’s not awkward. I had one guy friend who was overly touchy off the bat (not sexually, but like putting a “pal” hand on my shoulder—stuff like that). That was kind of weird for me, but mainly because I’m not like that with anyone.

flutherother's avatar

The last male on male hug was when my father in law came home from hospital, but that was 14 years ago.

woodcutter's avatar

I really stuck it and broke it off in a builder’s ass last week so… I did squeeze him with a pretty firm bear hug when he gave me my check.

wudda ya thinka me now?

Sunny2's avatar

Mostly, I touch people casually except for a hearty hug now and then, when the occasion warrants. There’s nothing sexual about it.

MrItty's avatar

I don’t know what you mean by “intimate” in this case. Do I grab my buddies’ packages? No. There are a few guy-friends that I’ll hug when we see each other after a long time, or at a celebration like a birthday party. I’ve never felt uncomfortable by doing so, or felt anything along the lines of what you described (“this is wrong, need to stop myself”).

linguaphile's avatar

I’m not 100% heterosexual… but live my life as one. The furthest I’ll go with female friends is a simple lots-of-air-in-between hug—mostly because Minnesotans aren’t particular to bear hugs like some other areas are. If I’m elsewhere (like DC) I’ll give bear hugs and there are only two female friends I’ll peck on the cheek.

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