General Question

antimatter's avatar

Is it wrong to date someone from another ethnic group?

Asked by antimatter (3801 points ) January 14th, 2013

A few weeks ago I met a Chinese lady, now I would like to date her but my family and friends think it’s a bad idea. I would like to date her but my family and friends don’t approve of it.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

35 Answers

Mariah's avatar

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with it at all. Love is love. It knows no ethnic barriers.

jca's avatar

People have been dating people from other ethnic groups throughout history. The world is one giant melting pot!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Basically, the long and the short answer is no.

antimatter's avatar

Yip I believe in love…

antimatter's avatar

I find it very sad that my friends and family don’t feel the same about love and friendship.
I think love and friendship should know no boundary…

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Diversity is what makes the world go around. Narrow little groups are so boring. Go for it.

Unbroken's avatar

I think it can be more difficult esp if people close to both of you don’t support it.

Remember you two come from different cultures so there may be some hardships in understanding or respecting each others back grounds at least initially.

However love attraction lust well that happens between anyone and it is usually worth pursuing esp if that is the only thing stopping you.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Short Answer:

No.

Long Answer:

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muppetish's avatar

If there is something wrong with it, then there is something wrong with my existence because I am the child of parents from different ethnic groups.

My aunt told my mother she would never have beautiful white babies and she cut her off immediately. Nobody, not even family, should prevent you from finding love.

marinelife's avatar

Why on Earth would it be? If you’re attracted, date her.

flutherother's avatar

Is it because she is Chinese? Because of itself that is hardly a reason to disapprove.

augustlan's avatar

Psh, absolutely not. Date who you like; end of story.

Pachy's avatar

Of course not! Ignore others’ hangups.

burntbonez's avatar

The real issue here is what do you do about your family and friends? You seem to come from a culture that frowns on inter-cultural dating. What will they do? Will they shun you in some way? Will they make your life difficult if you date the person you want to date? Those are the kinds of things you want to think about.

Not everyone is up for standing up to their community over social issues like these. I hope you are. Your love life is no one else’s business, in the US. However, in other countries and cultures, they see it differently. They want to protect you from a disaster. They can’t imagine you could get along with someone Chinese.

Don’t underestimate the issues involved in intercultural dating. Your cultural assumptions will be quite different. You will see things differently in subtle ways that have big consequences. You will have to deal with this stuff. It can be dealt with, but it really helps if your family is on board.

Aqua's avatar

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating someone from another ethnic group. Just be aware that certain differences of culture, language, and tradition may cause conflicts that you wouldn’t have with someone from your own ethnic group/culture and be prepared to work through them.

antimatter's avatar

@flutherother I don’t think is because of the Chinese thing, I think my friends and family is simply to afraid to think outside the box…
I am prepared to burn a few bridges to show my point that friendship have no boundaries and that I personally feel that I don’t see a Chinese lady but a beautiful loving human just like me.
There will be a lot of things but we are both prepared to learn…
Thank you for your great answers!

lightsourcetrickster's avatar

No it ain’t. I hear you with the friends and family being off with the idea, cause I get the same kind of crap from my parents and I’m going out with a Muslim. Do I give a shit? No. Should you give a shit if you go out with a Chinese girl? No. They may not like it but sometimes you just have to stick the proverbial two fingers up to ‘em and go do what you want to do because ultimately it’s none of their damn business.

Sunny2's avatar

If you don’t have to rely on your family for sustenance and shelter and are over 18 years old, you can do as you please. Get to know her. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t even have to talk about it to your close minded family.

bookish1's avatar

NO, and also mixed blood makes for beautiful children.

Best of luck to you.

ninjacolin's avatar

lol, the BEST time to date someone of another ethnic group is when your friends and family don’t approve.

Zakat's avatar

I dated someone of Asian (Japanese, in my case) ethnicity once, as well.

It was no big deal for my family, but it was for her father. Even after we met and he came to understand that white American men are not somehow a subspecies, he always had his hang-ups.

She was (and still is) very close to her family, and dating me no doubt functioned as some sort of sacrifice on her part…in essence, she had to be willing to accept to derision of her family for me.

I have no doubt that many inter-racial and ethnically mixed couples face similar scenarios from one side or the other.

I say there’s nothing at all wrong with it, but for some it does present a sacrifice of some kind. Be prepared for that.

bob_'s avatar

Just man the fuck up and do it.

whitenoise's avatar

Romeo and Juliet didn’t end too well.

Of course there is nothing wrong, in and by itself, with dating someone you love, regardless of their ethnic background.

Where I live, however, dating a local girl would likely prove to be very detrimental to my boys’ health and I would definitely not encourage it.

Living in the US, you shouldn’t even be asking the question…. Go for it.

mattbrowne's avatar

Of course not. Ask your family and friends: “Why don’t you approve?” It will be interesting to look at their answers.

tups's avatar

No, of course not! I personally think mixed couples look beautiful and they have really beautiful children!

There’s too many couples that looks like siblings – diversity is beautiful.

antimatter's avatar

@mattbrowne I followed your advice and wow they had about a million reasons.
Culture was number one reason, she is not a christian, she is not dutch what will the church say and the neighbors?
I don’t care if she is not Dutch, I don’t care if she is not a christian, don’t care about the neighbors, I care about my happiness!

bookish1's avatar

Oh, that good old What Will the Neighbors Think?

Good for you for taking this stand, @antimatter. I hope this works out for you. And even if it does not, be assured that you are doing the right thing.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
mattbrowne's avatar

@antimatter – There must be people who your family and friends admire. Try to find some and ask them: Do you admire, X, Y, Z. Don’t tell them anything further at this point. Talk a bit about why they admire X, Y, Z. Then comes your punch line:

Did you know that X, Y, Z have a partner from a different culture, nation, religion and so forth?

So you need to research whom to pick as X, Y, Z.

antimatter's avatar

I ignored my friends and family my first date with my Chinese chick was brilliant!
We chat till four in the morning, and I just received an email from her asking me when can we meet again!
A family member actually suggested that I should bring her home to meet the rest of the family.

Mariah's avatar

@antimatter Awesome news!!! Thanks for the update. I’m happy for you.

bookish1's avatar

@antimatter : Huzzah! Gotta love those talks til 4 am :) Best of luck to both of you.

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