Anyone else feel satisfied when the HS bullies grow up to be losers?

No. I’d prefer to see them grow up to be kind, responsible human beings.

I’d feel more satisfied with that.

I myself was never bullied, neither were any of my mates, but bullying did go on & I don’t ever think of them or how they turned out, but I can bet somewhere along the line they felt like a tiny fish in a very big pond once they entered the realities of the big bad world.

No I knew even then what they’d turn out to be and it made me sad.

I am completely oblivious to any bullies having been in my school. One neighbor of mine was teased as a little girl in elementary school, but she moved away and the fresh start at a new school changed everything. Aside from that in primary school I didn’t know of any bullying. But, in high school, I am unaware of any major bullying going on. I hope my experience actually reflects what was going on overall in my school. When I hear men talk, it seems to me like lots of bullying goes on as a matter of course when they are schoolage, some sort of hazing, bullying, razzing, which really bothers me.

I don’t feel staisfied if they grow up to be losers, it makes me sad to see they never learned, never had the epiphany or self worth to change how they interact with society.

I guess if I had been bullied I might get some satisfaction out of the mean kid winding up a loser, but that mean kid probably had a really shitty life his whole life. Although, that is not always true, I think we want to think that is always true, but it isn’t.

I would rather focus on the kid who was harassed winding up being the extremely successful and respected, than look at where the bully wound up.

Oh yes. In fact one from my husband’s high school who was a CEO riding high just had a big crash!

One of them is in prison for murdering someone in a road rage incident. He was an uncontrollable psycho in high school so none of us were surprised.
I’m glad he is off the streets—hopefully forever.

@marinelife Awesome.

I went to a small-town HS that had some pretty vicious girls. Most of them were from kind of trashy families who didn’t teach them a lick of empathy and usually the parents weren’t much better. They would pick a target (usually another female) and rip into her for no reason, actually they made a sport out tormenting others and were just generally awful.

Now most of them are mothers to illegitimate children with no father in the picture, cashiers at the local minimart, and I know of at least one who’s a stripper. Mazel tov!

Sort of. I half wish they’d pull their heads out of their butts and become good people, and I half wish they’d all get their comeuppance.

It was very satisfying to hear that the hot jocks and cheerleaders who were such vain, perfect assholes are mostly fat and divorced multiple times now.

It was a combination of sad and satisfying to know that one bully bitch who personally gave me hell, and slept with as many boys as she could, truly received her comeuppance. Satisfying, because she fucking deserved it after everything she did, but sad because part of her comeuppance was AIDS.

Nope because that would be one more loser living on welfare or raising future welfare recipients, or ending up in some half way house or jail. All the things that we pay taxes into. I agree with @cookieman, it would’ve been better they grew up to be great people with a guilty conscious.
I was only bullied in 8th grade so I really don’t remember them much. There was one guy that was particularly mean and I did wish for him to learn his lesson some day. He was in the it group and girls swarmed all over him but he was a major jerk. Anyone not living up to his idea of perfection was simply someone to be stepped on. He was also a major homophobe,
He idolized his older brother who was even better looking. It turned out his brother was gay. When he came out to his family they were all devastated. They all denied him and he comitted suicide. Not the outcome or the lesson I had hoped for. That was way too harsh. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

@Pandora Ouch, yeah that is especially hardcore. And I feel terrible for his older brother.

Nope, I want to see that they’ve grown and evolved. Most bullies in our school district were abused or neglected, or raised by neanderthals, all I can do is feel sorry for them.

There was only one girl who tried to bully me in 7th grade, and mom told me to stand up to her, so I did then and thereafter, only once more in hs. They were both from poor white families, with single mothers who worked. It changes your entire perspective when you look at it through the lens of love.

I feel like a lot of them end up becoming cops. At least that’s how it works around here.

Most of the worst bullies from my high school have died due to abusing pharmaceutical drugs.

Didn’t even make it to the 10 year reunion.

I don’t know how to feel about it.

I thought I would when I was younger, but then I saw how it turned out. Greg beat his girlfriend to death. Omar was shot in the head in a gang war. Mike and Will got drunk and killed someone in a boating accident. Brian thinks adults below the poverty line should be rounded up and shot or forced to starve to death, and he votes. Most of these guys were incredibly privileged and thought nothing bad could ever happen to them. Seems to me things would have been better if they had become decent people. These aren’t the outcomes people imagine when they fantasize about bullies becoming losers.

I was bullied by a kid in 9th grade and I found him on Facebook about a year ago. He friended me on FB and I accepted. For me, knowing myself, I knew that if I could at least deal with him in a friendly manner it would help me get beyond the memories of the cruel treatment I had from him as a teen. He became a carpenter, married with two sons. It seems they like to go hunting and stuff and that he was out of work a lot due to the economy. Then he became very sick and was hospitalized with a mysterious ailment that put him in a coma and then needing months of physical rehab. He was very skinny and old looking and is now regaining his strength. I don’t wish that on anybody, even though he was very mean and merciless to me.

Wow, some of your stories are incredibly sad. Can’t say I’ve seen many cases of this. One guy who was kind of a douche in HS died in an ATV accident about two years after graduation. I’ll admit, I wasn’t overly sad about his passing but his Mother is a very nice woman and I know she’s heartbroken so I feel terrible for what she’s been through.

Most of the others are just suffering from problems they’ve brought on themselves—failure to launch etc.

I would always hope that they would change for the better, but sometimes (unfortunately) a little dose of poetic justice is necessary to bring about that change such as in Brian’s case above.

@SavoirFaire “Brian thinks adults below the poverty line should be rounded up and shot or forced to starve to death, and he votes”. WTF

@Paradox25 Yeah that was disturbing as hell. Apparently Brian has some issues.

Not really. They don’t even deserve a passing thought. It would have been nice for them to be decent human beings to begin with.
I figure most of the assholes from my high school are still involved in drugs and gangs, or maybe they straightened themselves out and are working construction or lawn maintenance or auto tech.
And I suppose the cruel vapid popular kids are making far more money than I do right now, probably preying on other people to do it, and have not grown in their self-awareness.

One big bully in my life found Jesus and works for a private school in the area. She offered to help me get a job there whenever I wanted. I don’t know if I’d want to work for that school, but I thought it was nice. One minor school bully owns an ice cream store and became one of the nicest people I knew.

Not losers, but I would love to know that they had been put in a situation in which they felt targeted, bullied, or humiliated. I like when karma gets those that deserve it. Like a bully that made fun of overweight people ending up fat. Ah, small victories.

”Most bullies in our school district were abused or neglected, or raised by neanderthals, all I can do is feel sorry for them.”

@KNOWITALL: Exactly. The two guys that bullied me for years: One was beaten by his alcoholic father and the other’s father died (when we were in third grade) and his mother was a closet alcoholic.

They had it far worse than me, and while they shouldn’t have bullied me (and others), I wouldn’t want more bad stuff to befall them.

I remember only one from grade school. He ended up in jail (charged with rape). Not surprised.

@cookieman But, it isn’t always true although it might be often true. Did Mitt Rmney admit to bullying a gay student? That was mostly peer pressure I guess and what I alluded to above that many boys seem to torture each other as a matter of course. I’m not trying to pick on Romney or get political, it just is an example most people know.

@cookieman Maybe it depends on the extent of the bullying, as to whether or not one feels that revenge or karmic satisfaction is justified. The girl that I dealt with tried to kill me. She physically bullied me a lot (shoving, slapping, etc…) then tried to shove me down a double flight of stairs, so I didn’t give a shit about the whys of it. I went postal on her ass that day, and got my personal revenge, then found out about the AIDS directly afterward, and felt totally justified in thinking, “Well, she brought it on herself.” It was still sad to hear, but that didn’t stop the satisfaction. Almost twenty years later, it still feels like karmic justice.

There is a story of a Tibetan monk who was imprisoned for several years by the Chinese. When he got out, he was asked what he was most concerned about during his captivity. He said that his greatest concern was that he might lose his compassion toward his captors. That is an attitude I aspire to.

especially when they have like three kids before they are 21

@Paradox25 @LeavesNoTrace He doesn’t even hide it. He’s proud of that opinion. It’s tempting to hope he winds up on welfare or something, but he seems like the kind of guy who would kill his wife, his child, and then himself if something like that ever happened.

I know it’s petty of me, but I can’t help feeling some visceral pleasure when bad things happen to bad people.

@keobooks Did the former bully apologize, or otherwise express remorse, for the way she’d treated you?

Schadenfreude is the word for it. Taking pleasure in someone else bad situation.

I would like for anyone that was mean to me in some significant way to be considerably less successful than me.

I just saw the actor of the new Superman movie on Katie and she asked him about being teased by classmates and called fat or chubby, I don’t remember exactly. It was a nickname they put on him like Fat LastName. He basically said it made him feel badly sure, because it was true, he was overweight. Katie said, “wouldn’t you love to run into them now.” the guy is gorgeous and obviously about to be launched into fame. He replied, “I don’t hold any grudge. I hope they are all doing well, and if I ran into one of them I would greet them as I would any other person I had known in the past.” I don’t have the quote perfectly right, but that was the feeling behind it.

I would guess some of it has to do with how severe the bullying was.