Social Question

prolificus's avatar

What has been the most difficult part about your becoming an adult?

Asked by prolificus (6492 points ) April 22nd, 2014

I’m turning 40 this year. The most difficult part about my becoming an adult has been the act of growing up and giving up childish things (to paraphrase a biblical passage). Essentially, it’s choosing to become mature. Sounds simple, but sometimes it sucks.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

43 Answers

kritiper's avatar

I had difficulty in coming to the realization that I might not ever get married.

talljasperman's avatar

Isolation.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Taxes, and the aches and pains about growing old.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Letting go of my children.

cazzie's avatar

Today, it’s the aches and pains. The only thing I hate more than going to bed with neck and back pain is waking up with neck and back pain.
I was asked by my 19 year-old autistic step son last year, ‘What does it mean to be mature?’ After clearing the tears from my eyes, I told him it means, very simply that you do things you don’t want to do because you know you have to do them. You buck up and get it done even though you would rather not do it or you would rather be doing something else. Yeah, sometimes that is hard.

cookieman's avatar

Non-stop responsibility. The to-do list never ends.

ucme's avatar

Me no wanna be machooa!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Coming to terms with so much. Patience. Responsibility. Learning that being too outspoken does not always gain you credits. Realizing that the fair world you believed in during youth will never exist.

JLeslie's avatar

This probably doesn’t really answer your question, but for me it is health problems. I know kids can have serious health problems, but I luckily didn’t when I was younger. Also, the disappointment of not acheiving some of the things I always thought I would. The rest of becoming an adult has been overall very good. Being an adult is much better than being a kid in so many ways.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Accepting that so much is my responsibility. When the phone rings it is somebody wanting something from me – never an offer to give me money. If I drop the ball it lands on others’ feet.

@kritiper Seriously? Not married? Are you holding out for Angela Jolie? ;-)
~Maybe we can fix you up here.

janbb's avatar

Learning that I am truly alone.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Becoming thick-skinned.

Judi's avatar

When I was young it was the bills and the responsibilities. I either had time or money (rarely money) but I never had both. I thought being an adult would mean freedom but I was frozen by the responsibility of it all. (I had three kids by the time I was 24 and a husband who might as well have been a kid. )
Now that I’m older I can relax a bit and in many ways be a kid again.
As much as I would like a re do of my 20’s there’s no way you could get me to go back and do that exhausting phase of my life over again.

turtlesandbox's avatar

Taking care of my parents and watching them suffer through illness and old age.

cazzie's avatar

Yeah, @turtlesandbox losing my parents and becoming an orphan at 40. That was one heck of a feeling. Never ready for it, even though you know it will happen. Worst part was that my mother never met her last grandchild, my son.

Cruiser's avatar

Nothing difficult about being 53 compared to 23 other than people I know dying off. That is never any fun.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Yeah, I hate the funerals. I had my fill of them when I was young and I hate every single one I have had to attend.

thorninmud's avatar

I’ve found that every step into adulthood ends up making life easier. Any difficulties along the way have come from clinging to childhood out of fear or insecurity. When I’ve just embraced adulthood, things go much better.

Blondesjon's avatar

Accepting that being an adult blows.

kritiper's avatar

@LuckyGuy Doubt if it’ll ever happen. Due to a psychological and physically abusive father and an overly religious detached mother, I had no ego, no self esteem. I’m much better now. Once I got past the age of 45 it got easier and easier. Now I am very glad that I never wed.

ucme's avatar

Not being able to fit into my Superman pyjamas & getting a big lolly stuck in my hair.

Symbeline's avatar

Having to pay for shit all the time. Responsibility.

I get it done, but unlike childhood, it seems to never end, and I know that until the day I die, this is what life will be like. Unless I strike it rich, and even then, that’s probably just more problems to deal with.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Money has been the biggest worry of adulthood for me and, even though we were quite poor when I was growing up, I didn’t have the responsibility of paying bills on time to keep a roof over my head. When I was a kid all I knew was that we couldn’t have the same clothes and gadgets as other kids and we didn’t have a full fridge very often. I resented that at the time but I would give anything to be oblivious to the worry of losing my home again. Only now do I realise how hard it must of been for my parents.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Judi I take comfort in your comment that it will get easier. I’m 27 now, fingers crossed my 30’s will be a better decade for me, security wise!

LuckyGuy's avatar

@kritiper You’re killing me!!! You don’t realize how special you are. If you have a job (or are financially solvent), don’t have a drug or alcohol habit, don’t smoke, and have no visible facial tattoos that puts you in the top 10% of desirability. Add in the fact that you are intelligent, use a computer, can string together complete sentences with no txtspk or grammar errors and you move up to the top 5%! And no ex-wife with kids just pushed you to the top 3%!!! Heck you don’t even need working bits between your legs. In fact in some circles that can push you to the top 2%.
Man! If I was on the market, I’d use you as bait! I’d tie a rope around your waist, toss you into the dating pool and keep the extra hangers-on for myself. Sheesh! Meetup.com! Match.com, OKcupid, pof…
Find the right person and you would make 2 people happy! The world would be a better place due to the reduced carbon emissions, reduced fuel consumption for home heating, reduced food costs, better medical insurance, reduced taxes. Come on! Do it for society.
Don’t make me come over there!

Oh, If Adriana Lima answers you, ignore her. She’s mine.

hug_of_war's avatar

I’m only 26 but I would say at this point, money. It feels like a noose around my neck. It sucks seeing everyone with their successful jobs, even though I know I’m only seeing one side of their story. I want to order a pizza without feeling guilty about it a month later because I could have used that for something more important.

Symbeline's avatar

@hug_of_war I get that too. Of course I realize I only have myself to blame if I don’t have a successful job, but the feeling persists just the same.

jerv's avatar

Bills. I still play video games (the average gamer is actually 35, not 15) and watch cartoons, but I also do my own finances instead of having everything paid for me like I did 25+ years ago.

JLeslie's avatar

Actually, after today I am feeling like @janbb.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JLeslie What happened today?

JLeslie's avatar

Doctor shit! You know me, always something medical to let me down. Let’s just say I wish I had been wrong. Had to beg and beg to get a test done. Dismissed by the nurses, the doctor didn’t listen at first either. Finally they do the tests I asked for over two months ago, and I was right. Not good news. No one is dying, but really I am quite upset. I feel on the edge of a cliff. I am alone, because I realize all my unhealthy years I have been on my own, with no one listening. Doctors have not really helped me and no one else can. I’m so tired.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JLeslie Hey, buck up. The JL I know doesn’t roll over like that. She’s been through a lot and keeps on ticking. Come on, you can do it. Don’t let me down, I rely on you to be there and tell me when I’m full of shit or need a slap. You can do it.

Pachy's avatar

Watching my youth recede faster and faster.

Cruiser's avatar

@JLeslie Sorry to hear you have been rolled over by a boulder…I think you are aware there are a lot of people here who do care about you and the trials life has shoved in front of you. You are not alone and I am sure you have plenty of Jellies you can lean on including me.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JLeslie come on. You are tougher than that. Yeah we get tired. And you have had a lot thrown at you, but you’ve always pushed through it. I’m here for you.

JLeslie's avatar

Thanks. I don’t want to derail the Q.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Just know I’m here for you and if you want to pm me and talk I’m available.

majorrich's avatar

The realization that there are more summers behind me than before me.

ibstubro's avatar

Knowing that I no longer had anyone to blame things on but myself.

Evil portent. My ‘then’ self would give into those fleeting suicidal thoughts if they knew that all that work was only going to produce my ‘now’ self.

Well, that and trying to balance a checkbook for the first few years. I gave that up and ended the overdrafts!

LuckyGuy's avatar

@kritiper Read my answer again. It is all true. Especially the Adriana Lima part!
(I just sent you a PM.)

Haleth's avatar

Caring for my relatives as they get older, and the way everything encroaches on my free time until there is basically none left.

Unbroken's avatar

That black and white very rarely exist.

@kripter I have to back luckyguy on this one. I have a friend in his mid 30’s single never married good job no kids no criminal record and he’s intelligent. He says the women become like vultures.

His problem being he thinks he likes being single. And he has really high standards.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther