General Question

chelle21689's avatar

Do you think a committed man can avoid cheating if a hot woman threw herself at him?

Asked by chelle21689 (5450 points ) August 15th, 2014 from iPhone

I was watching an episode of Fresh Prince where a mom tries to coyly seduce Will in a hotel room.

Anyway, it got me thinking…do you think there’s actually anyone one out there that will turn an unexpected situation down if an extremely attractive woman is basically naked or in lingerie trying to touch on that person? Men, do you really think you can turn that down if that situation came up?
This is of course hypothetical so I don’t wanna hear “well I would never be in that situation in the first place” lol

To be honest, I feel like we say things but when the time comes we will never know what could happen. My bf for example is extremely against cheating especially since he’s been cheated on before. But even I would have some fear if he was being tested in that way. Just because I feel like it’s human nature.

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35 Answers

chelle21689's avatar

Oh yeah, in one episode Will let the girl get in a few kisses on him but never slept with her and turned her down. I still consider that cheating since he let her kiss on him for a few minutes before turning her down

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
jca's avatar

I don’t think anyone can generalize.

Some may, some may not.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I would like to think so, I couldn’t cheat on Mrs Squeeky and she has a way of finding out everything and losing her would be the worst thing, I would turn it around and tell Mrs Squeeky that this hot babe was putting the moves on me, then sit back and watch Mrs Squeeky rip her apart.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Depending on the rules between the man and his partner it may not be cheating.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Of course. I have done it.

Actually, it has happened twice in my life. One, a woman essentially threw herself at me, and, being a gentleman, I obliged. We had a great romp.

The second time, different woman, she pretty much did the same, but it didn’t feel right – something was strange about the situation. So I basically said, thanks but no thanks, and I left.

Note: in both cases we were single and unattached, and there was no question of cheating.

I just reread your question and it dealt with a committed man—in that case, my answers aren’t all that relevant since I wasn’t committed at the time.

kritiper's avatar

It requires a very strong sense of loyalty, honesty and integrity. When I am committed to someone, it comes with a big exclamation point!

jonsblond's avatar

do you think there’s actually anyone one out there that will turn an unexpected situation down

Why do you assume everyone will immediately have sex if they find themselves in a room with an attractive naked person? I would not hop on for a ride if I happened to find myself in a room with a naked attractive male. Would you? There needs to be more than good looks for me to want some action. I have everything I need with the man I love. Some random naked attractive guy won’t bring me to my knees.

Or are men different? Do they not have any self control, but women do? silly

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
muppetish's avatar

I know plenty of married/committed gay men who would readily, and easily, turn down an attractive, naked/near-naked woman.

Your question presupposes that all men are heterosexual. It also prescribes to a negative, in my opinion gender role presumption that men are readily and easily persuaded by sex. No straight man is going to be attracted to every “sexy woman”. The same goes for a gay man being attracted to every “sexy man”. And the same goes for women.

Could I restrain myself if someone attractive “threw themself” at me? I’d sure like to think I’m made of sterner stuff than my genitalia.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
chelle21689's avatar

Well honestly it seems to me that women need more than looks to be attracted and men are simply just attracted to looks, I’m talking for the usual.

Good example is tons of rich men would go out with a woman regardless of her status of power, personality, etc. as long as she’s a trophy wife.

The “typical” woman wouldn’t go out with a poor good looking guy with nothing to offer but you see them go out with ugly old rich men.

Of course this is it’s all hypothetical, there’s no need to get all huffy about it as if I’m speaking for every single man and woman.

snowberry's avatar

This sounds like a very sexist question, and it makes men sound very much like un-neutered dogs- completely manipulated by their hormones and base desires. Men are human, just like me, but I’m not totally manipulated by my hormones and desires, and neither are the men I know and admire.

Your description paints both men and women as quite shallow in their personalities. Unfortunately there are people who exactly fit your description, but it’s not true of everyone, and I’m guessing it’s not true of most people. @chelle21689 Do you think this behavior is “normal”?

gailcalled's avatar

do you think there’s actually anyone one out there that will turn an unexpected situation down if an extremely attractive woman is basically naked or in lingerie trying to touch on that person?

That is not a hypothetical question. Neither were most of your answers hypothetical ones. “Huffy” is your take.

jonsblond's avatar

@chelle21689 No one is getting huffy. I think some of us find it odd that you might think this would be normal behavior. That’s all.

shadowboxer's avatar

Yes. It has happened to me numerous times and will probably happen again. The reason I don’t accept another’s advances is because I would not want to lose the trust that my wife and I have and I wouldn’t want my daughters to have to go through an unsettling divorce just because I wasn’t able to control myself.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I’d like to say yes that it can be avoided. The honest truth is nobody will know until that situation occurs. It will vary greatly from person to person and the situation. I have what could be called a guilty heart so I would feel very bad about it after if it ever happened so I think I would surely turn down any advances. This is gender-neutral. It is kind of a derogatory and debasing question. Statistics show that men and women are equal in their infidelity but men are only slightly more willing to fess up to it.

chelle21689's avatar

I was just sensing some negativity through the answers I gotten and feel like I’m offending people with just a question like this. Yeesh. ?

Thank you to those that answered without getting huffy and going along with this hypothetical question lol :P

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@chelle21689 No negativity, just answers.

chelle21689's avatar

I don’t think you were huffy.

filmfann's avatar

My wife was helping a beautiful neighbor look sexy for her husband, who had been avoiding relations recently. See thru top, beautiful hair and make up. She asked me to look at the neighbor, and I was strongly arroused.
Later, my wife asked, if the husband did not respond, that I satisfy her.
I immediately declined. I made a marrige vow, and I don’t think God would approve.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Yes, a man who is committed to having a monogamous relationship with someone could avoid cheating if a person he found attractive threw themselves at him. There might be temptation, of course, but resistance is not futile. Something very similar happened to me in college when my now-wife and I were in the early stages of our relationship, and I had no trouble turning the woman down.

ucme's avatar

I mean, my dick’s going to get hard, let’s be honest, but i’d never cheat no.
If I did, the wife would be committed to chasing me down & hacking my penis off with a big knife :(

chelle21689's avatar

SavoirFare, great to hear.

lmao and you know those stories are true…I’ve heard of crazy wives hacking a man’s penis off and throwing it away or down the garbage disposal in the sink.

cookieman's avatar

^^ and then there would be more hard

I have been with my wife for over twenty years and a few women, in that time, have thrown themselves at me.

I have a simple method for avoiding trouble I will share.

1) Run away
2) Tell your spouse what happened

It’s not graceful, but there is no way to get in trouble if you do that.

example
woman hitting on me: “You’re adorable. Wanna get naked?”

me: “Ah, no thank you.” ::turn and run away::

later that evening

me: “Honey, this lady hit on me today, but I ran away.”

wife: “Good job.”

El_Cadejo's avatar

I once had a girl give me a hug and as she was going in for the hug she also tried making out with me. I saw what was happening so I turned my head to the side casually pretending to look over at my friend. The girl ended up licking my cheek (in a very unsexy way lol) . It was kinda like when you trip and you think no one saw you so you just start walking normal again to play it off. To be fair up till that point I hadn’t mentioned I was in a relationship and I thought it’d be pretty embarrassing for her in front of her friends to mention it now so I hugged her back and told her good night. My fiance had a good laugh over the whole thing when I told her.

deni's avatar

Sex isn’t just physical to a lot of people. I am committed 100% to my boyfriend and under no circumstances would I cheat on him, and I know it is the same for him. If I was in a relationship where I felt that all that had to happen for my partner to cheat on me was for an attractive person to approach them and propose sex, I would not be in that relationship very long.

hearkat's avatar

I don’t think any mature person (regardless of gender or sexual preference) will find someone “throwing themselves at them” attractive. Desperation is usually seen as an unattractive quality.

Bill1939's avatar

Whether a man will succumb to temptation, depends upon his emotional maturity. Anecdotal evidence strongly suggests to me that, like other animals, males will mate whenever possible, depending upon their sex drive. “Civilized” men, however, honor their promises and courteously decline the opportunity.

Fluthers have expanded the original question, adding both women and homosexuals.

I, the clueless male, imagine that women experience the desire for emotional and physical contact as men, but perhaps not continuously. And I know that for both genders the spectrum ranges from celibacy to sexual addiction.

I, the clueless heterosexual, imagine that homosexuals differ from heterosexuals only in their gender relationships. I suspect that an early adolescent will have more difficulty with impulse control than a “mature” male. Is this true for women? Is it the same for the masculine and feminine qualities in a homosexual relationship?

Never watched Fresh Prince.

gorillapaws's avatar

I’ve turned down very attractive women in that situation. In those cases, they were too drunk and I’m not cool with that.

Adagio's avatar

@hearkat Hear Hear! Couldn’t agree more.

Coloma's avatar

I was propoistioned numerous times in my marriage and never caved to the temptation, My ex, however, did. It’s about character first and foremost of all. Forget about sexual attraction, that’s not the cruz i=of the matter, it;s about character and those with integrity and character don;t cheat, not because they don’t want to hurt their partners, because they don;t want to carry the burden of infidelity.

Kardamom's avatar

I think the majority of men, that have good relationships with their wives and girlfriends, would not cheat, even if they were aroused.

If they don’t have good relationships with their wives and girlfriends, then all bets are off.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@chelle21689 Well honestly it seems to me that women need more than looks to be attracted and men are simply just attracted to looks, I’m talking for the usual.
In would agree from what I have observed, however, a janky attitude can make a poor broke sonnava bat look awful good to many women. Certainly a deep pocket will make a homely guy look fantastic. Ask yourself this, if Bill Gates when he just had 900 million would have been turned down by every Playboy Bunny had he been at the Playboy Mansion trying to knock one? Even if he were broke or of average income, or had a 10 inch penis he would have gotten nowhere. He can have a 5 inch penis, and look like a super nerd, but add a 9 figure income to him, ROCK STAR!

Good example is tons of rich men would go out with a woman regardless of her status of power, personality, etc. as long as she’s a trophy wife.
Absolutely, do you think a guy worries if a woman is the maid, hat check girl, or some clerk? If she is hot and sexy, he will boink her. I have heard plenty of women say they would not date a man if he did not have a car, his own place, this amount of income, a job, etc. They (the women) go into it as if it might mean something other than self-gratuitous fun, and want to make sure they won’t be paying to have long-term access to the penis with a handsome face.

@snowberry Do you think this behavior is “normal”?
It is more the rule than the exception. The only reason many people don’t cheat is the fear of getting caught, because that will jack off the guaranteed sex when the other was a one-time fling, or a short-term tryst. Some might disagree but (we can pray that lying spirit <cough, cough> off of them) it is what it is.

@Bill1939 Whether a man will succumb to temptation, depends upon his emotional maturity. Anecdotal evidence strongly suggests to me that, like other animals, males will mate whenever possible, depending upon their sex drive.
In this Western civilization where sex is the goal for everything and use to market most of what we buy, I would say that is true, even more so if we are men derived from apes or some other subhuman; technology alone won’t weed that out of mankind’s personality.

snowberry's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I’m sorry that’s been your life experience. That’s certainly not true of the people I know, and I’ve lived all over the country, so I’ve not been isolated.

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