What's your view on kids calling their parents by their first name rather then Mom or Dad?

My oldest boy always called me by my name, not “dad.” Other people thought it was strange. But, it never bothered me.

I was always tought it was disrespectful. A “Respect your elders” kind of thing.

Mom is “Mom”, and Dad “Dad”. or some variation. they should know their parents’ “real names” in case of emergency, but it’s a matter of respect and love.

I always told my son that “Mommy is my job title, not my name.” so even though he always calls me Mom, he has introduced me to other people as Kathy since he was a toddler!

My mom’s name is Carrie, so I’ll call her Care-Bear all the time, she likes it I think. I’ve called her Carrie here and there, but rarely, Always just in normal conversation, she doesn’t mind. Most of the time though, it’s Mother or Mom.

Not that i personally care, but i guess it is regarded as disrespectful because family is a hierarchy, parents are the superiors, and children are their subordinates and it is against the norm to call your superiors by their first name, as that implies that you are on an equal level as your parents, which is contradictory to traditional family hierarchy.

Upon reading this question, the first thing that popped in my head was, “Atticus Finch.”

i just realised i wrote a four line sentence.

I agree with @eponymoushipster. I call my parents Mom and Dad. I expect my children to do so as well. Of course they’ll know my actual name, my son knows my husbands..but he doesn’t seem to know mine. When we tell him, he just says “Ice cream” I dunno.

I’ve found that very close knit families call their parents mom and dad throughout their lives. There is no age limit to it. It’s a sign of respect and admiration to be recognized for the position you hold as a parent. You aren’t simply Bob… or Jane… you are a mom or a dad.

@MrsNash: why’s that? “To Kill a Mocking Bird” – I don’t remember the movie all that well, anymore.

Calling your mother “mom” or your father “dad” forms a sort of intimate bond between them. I would feel strange calling my parents by their name. It would take the closeness away. I simply don’t see why anybody would call their parent by their name unless they just don’t a close relationship with them.

Jim and Scout, the children in “To Kill a Mocking Bird” called their father Atticus.

It’s whatever the parents want to be called. If they want to be called by their first names, then so be it. I don’t understand how it can be disrespectful if the parents don’t mind it. Only the person being disrespected can determine if something is “disrespectful” to them. Nothing is universally disrespectful in every single case in every single possible arrangement. It’s disrespectful to call anyone by a name they don’t want to be called.

I do happen to think it’s weird only because it makes it seem as if parents are on the same level as anyone else, even though they are something special and calling them “mom” and “dad” differentiates from that. Also, I’ve always called my parents “mom” and “dad” or “mommy” and “daddy” when I was little, which I still do every now and then. :)

But I have a friend who calls her dad “dad” and her mom “Kiki”, even though they’re both biological parents. It’s just what she does and her mom has no problem with it. She doesn’t find it “disrespectful”. I’m not one to criticize their family situation and what they choose to do. It’s none of my business. What works for them is fine.

I call my mom ..“ma” and my dad…“pa” I only call them by their first names when there are adults around, since most of them are parents.

@Garebo, it is a little weird, but it’s usually a phase that passes. You could respond by calling him “son” when he calls you by your first name.

I happen to call them Mom and Dad, but I don’t see it as any sort of respect thing. I don’t see families as a hierarchy of respect.

@casheroo haha ice cream.

Whatever works for a particular family is fine with me.

I’ve always called my parents ‘mom’ and ‘dad,’ but I don’t think of it as disrespectful to call them otherwise, especially if the alternative is their name.

I could certainly think of worse things to call either of them~

I, also an oldest child, called my parents by their first names occasionally. It was not tolerated from anyone else. I think I did it, because they did not call each other Mom and Dad.

I concur with Ivan. I refer to my parents as ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’ generally but such is primarily, if not solely due to habit.

This also goes to what I called my elders. Growing up, I always called my friend’s parents “Mr. Jones” or “Mrs. Smith.” Never, did i refer to them by their first names.

After I graduated college and was working professionally I was taken aside by several people I worked with who are much older then I am. I reffering to them the same way I would my friends parents! They asked I call them by their first name. That was, and still is very hard for me to do. I desire to do the more formal method of referring to my elders.

@PandoraBoxx: that is another question, my best friend, growing up always referred to their “Dad” as father, and he referred to them as son.

@mowens

Uh huh, but it’s rude to call someone by something they don’t want to be called, even if it’s “tradition”. It’s up the individual.

I agree, but I cant call them by their first name unless they ask me to.

it depends on the individuals. if both of them are more comfortable with using one rather than the other, it doesn’t bother me. it isn’t disrespectful to call your parent by their first name unless they personally feel disrespected by it.

If I ever called my Mom Doris, she would have snapped my neck. Her mother died in child birth, and she felt Mom or Mother was an important title. It’s respectful, and courtious.
My step daughter calls me by name, but my kids don’t. I like it this way.

i want my kids to call me “goshujin sama”

@ragingloli Does “goshujin sama” mean master?

it does

@ragingloli ... I wish I had known that when my kids were young! I wonder if I could get them to switch now.

I like the intimacy of using some variation of Mom and Dad instead of names. My stepdad has been my stepdad for 30 years and I still call him by his name because, well, when do you make that change without it being awkward? I love him like a father, but I feel the use of his name instead of “Dad” leaves an emotional barrier of sorts.

Up until I was probably about 5 I called my Dad by his first name. My mom never called him Dad around us so we all just copied her. I couldn’t say my R’s very well when I was little so I pronounce his name Dawwie and all my friends thought it was weird so I stopped quickly. I also have friend’s that call their parents by their first name because they are not close with them. I think it just depends on this particular situation.

I called my mother Sheila from the time I was 15 until now. I didn’t do it out of disrespect, but jokingly. She’d say or do something wrong and I’d say “Now Sheila!” And we’d all laugh. Occasionally, I call her mom, but she says me calling her by her first name makes her feel yougn, LoL! I also believe if you’re not too close with a parent or relative, calling them by their first name is more comfortable. My younger sister is not very close with our grandfather and she just can’t call him grandfather, so she calls him Mr. Don. I guess it depends on circumstances.

I’ve only called my dad with his name on a couple of occasions, mainly as a joke and once (a rare exception) when I was talking to him as a friend and not as his son. I usually call my mother by her first name though. Very complicated reasons there.

I want my daughter to call me “daddy” and she does (well, she calls me “tata” which is the same).

I think it’s more important from the child’s perspective than from the parent’s. You can have more than one children, and besides you’re a grown up and can cope with all sorts of things. But your child only has one mother and one father, and there’s a psychological reason, to know you’ve got that special someone in your life.

My late maternal grandmother asked her children to call her by her first name, so they did, but they called their father Dad. We called them Grandma and Grandpa, which they seemed to be OK with.

I’d have no issues with it coming from a child of mine. I did grow up with kids who addressed one or both parents by their first names, it didn’t seem that awkward except when considering the same for my own parents.

I have issues with it. It means something to me. I like that I am a dad, specifically, their dad. My duty is to be a father first, above all else. Using my first name, I believe, crosses that line.

I prefer all other kids use my first name. None of this Mr. Blah Blah garbage.